Something's Definitely Better Than Nothing
by sunnyNsc
Summary: Callie tells Arizona she slept with Mark, and Arizona doesn't handle it well.  This is my version of how they work out the rift dividing the two women keeping them from happiness.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fan fiction with these characters. Please let me know whether or not you liked it.

As always, I own nothing. I just took them out of the box, tossed them around a bit, and returned them back to Shonda Rimes, none the worse for the wear.

"Something Is Definitely Better Than Nothing"

"While you were over in Africa being _happy_, I slept with Mark." Callie paused letting the knowledge sink in, "How about now?" she finished her eyes boring into Arizona's searching. Arizona stood there too dumbfounded to speak. She doubled over grasping her stomach as her breath left her in a rush as if she had been hit in the stomach with a baseball bat. She stared unblinking back at Callie in shock. Neither woman noticed the doors to the elevator open and subsequently close again. It was only when the doors opened again that Arizona shook her head snapping out of her stupor. She turned away from Callie to walk out the door.

"Mmm, yeah," Callie spat, "There's the Arizona I know so well." Arizona stopped in the middle of the elevator doors her back to Callie, she raised her left hand to the doors so it wouldn't shut on her,

"I completely understand why you would think that of me Callie," she said quietly, "But I am not bailing. I need some time to wrap my head around this and process it all before I say things I know I will regret. I hope you can understand," she said as an after thought letting go of the door as she stepped out of the elevator.

Arizona wandered aimlessly around Seattle for hours before unexpectedly finding herself in front of their old apartment door mentally giving herself a pep talk. She raised her fist in the air to rap on the door but froze midway.

"I can do this," she said pumping herself up, "What's the worst she can do? Tell me to go back to Malawi, how selfish and untrustworthy I am, tell me how she is certain I'm gonna hurt her again, tell me she slept with Mark Sloan again. Been there, done that. I. Will. Do. This." She wiped her clammy hands down the front of her jeans, took a deep, steadying breath, and knocked on the door of their old apartment quickly before she could change her mind. Callie opened the door with one hand, and had the other hand on her hip as if she knew who it was knocking at her door. She cocked her head to one side, lips pursed, eyebrows arched in a question.

"Hey, Callie," Arizona started apprehensively, "You're not gonna shut the door on me again, are you?"

"Nah," Callie said stepping aside to let Arizona in, "No point in worrying about that. If things get too tough for you, you'll just leave again. How many times has it been? Two, three, hell I lost count after the elevator," Callie quipped acerbically.

Arizona walked into the apartment, surveying the scene before her. She immediately noticed the couch with its rumpled sheets and pillow as if someone had been sleeping on the couch.

"That's interesting, why isn't she sleeping in our old room?" she thought to herself before turning to face Callie.

"You're right," she conceded, "I totally deserve that. I do and a whole lot more."

"Why did you come here Arizona? Callie questioned, "Cause it damn sure wasn't to be my personal whipping girl," she added.

"Would that work?" Arizona posited nervously shuffling her feet.

"Arizona," Callie breathed out her name in one exasperated breath.

Arizona lowered her head down, and raised both of her hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, Okay," she responded in a conciliatory tone. She slowly raised her eyes to meet Callie's. "I came here," she said encouraged by the look of curiosity in Callie's eyes and by the fact that she didn't look away, "Because I wanted to talk. To you. Without the running away on my part, and without the hatred on your part."

Callie crossed her arms across her chest, and sighed heavily before responding.

"Is that what you think, Arizona, that I hate you?" she asked incredulously.

"Well what else am I supposed to think after you shut the door in my face, after you tell me to go back to Africa, after you tell me you haven't come back to me, after you yelled at me to get my crap out of your apartment, twice if I remember correctly..."

"Oh Arizona," Callie raised her voice to interrupt the rambled tangent, "I am angry, at you, but mostly I am angry at myself"

"Wait, what?" Arizona questioned cocking her head to the side to make sure she was hearing things right, "Why are you angry with yourself?"

Callie met Arizona's confused look and softened, "I am angry because I can't. I just can not find it in me to hate you. It would make things a lot easier for myself if I could." Arizona took a step closer to Callie leaving approximately a foot's distance between them.

"Then why, why would you," she stammered out before the trembling in her voice made it too difficult to speak. Callie attempted to bridge the emotional distance between herself and Arizona by reaching out and taking Arizona's hand in her own.

"Why would I sleep with Mark?" she finished for Arizona. Callie studied Arizona's body language intently trying to buy herself time to come up with a suitable explanation for herself as well as for Arizona as to why she had sex with Mark. Arizona, normally steadfast in times of chaos, stood before her shoulders slumped, breath coming in shallow, unable to maintain eye contact. In a word, she looked defeated. When she finally managed to pull her eyes up to meet Callie's own, Callie saw silent tears spilling out of her pools of blue. Callie gasped sharply at the sight. It was then that Callie realized everything that Arizona failed to say, and it simply made her heart ache.

"No, Arizona," Callie whispered, "No I didn't sleep with Mark just to hurt you."

"B-b-b-but Mark?" Arizona stammered. Callie pulled Arizona over to the bar nudging her to take a seat. She sat in the other chair facing Arizona.

"I know how you feel... about Mark," Callie began hesitantly, "And that is not why I did it,"

"Then help me understand," Arizona pleaded, "Please."

Callie shifted in her seat uncomfortably, inhaling sharply and began her explanation.

"You were my dream come true Arizona, my happily ever after, the missing piece of my heart, my future, my world. It's a lot to put on a person. I realize that now, in retrospect, but it is the truth." Callie paused looking around the room to get her bearings.

"The next thing I know, I'm standing in a nuclear wasteland of what used to be my life without so much as a clue as to how I even got there," she says eyes wide, tone perplexed.

"You want to talk about hurt," she continued, "I know hurt well. Am even on a first name basis with it. I've experienced it, and survived it...But this, nothing could have prepared me for these feelings. What I felt was so foreign and beyond anything I'd ever felt before."

"And I am _so_ sorry for that," Arizona interjected..

"No," Callie shook her head, "I'm not blaming you anymore, I am simply trying to explain. Bare with me?" she asked. Arizona nodded her head slightly indicating for Callie to continue.

"After you left," she began again, "I was like a ghost caught between the land of living, and my memories of you. Sure, I went to work, did my job, did it well even but at the end of the day memories of you were all that waited for me. It about drove me insane. Everyone tried to help even Teddy but it was useless," she smiled sadly.

"Mark coerced me into going out one night," she chuckled inwardly at the memory of her best friend threatening to get the extremely nosy, and perky psychologist Sydney involved if she didn't come out to Joe's with him, "He even convinced me to go talk to this cute red head that couldn't keep her eyes off of me."

"That would fit into your usual break up pattern," Arizona interjected.

"Right," Callie conceded, "So I went to talk to her. Turns out she was more interested in where I got my hair styled, not me."

"Good," Arizona mumbled under her breath, "One less person I need to throw a brick at."

"It would have been another major mistake chalked solely up to me," Callie mumbled to herself mostly.

"Oops," she said sheepishly, "I got off topic." she apologized once she realized Arizona was looking at her expectantly.

"You were everywhere. _Everywhere_. And the pain of not having you was all over the damn place. It just got to be too much to handle especially after getting shot down at Joe's. Do you know what I mean?" she questioned Arizona searching desperately for an ounce of understanding.

"I do," Arizona admitted, "I understand more than you think. It is why I came back"

"Okay, so you get that part," Callie said hopefully, "Maybe you will get this part too. After the bar, we came home. Mark went to bed and I sat up on the couch thinking of ways to exorcise you from my mind, from my heart, from my skin even. My mind went back to my 'pattern' as you referred to it earlier," Callie rambled on.

"I realized if there were any sort of chance no matter how tiny of forgetting you, it needed to not be a stranger but someone who cared about me, would do anything for me, loved me even, and..." Callie paused.

"And Mark fits that bill," Arizona finished solemnly.

"With all his faults, and there are so many, he does care about me, he does love me," Callie stated trying to convince Arizona of her logic.

"And you love him, too," Arizona said lamely.

"I do love him, Arizona. I'm not going to deny it or try to justify it to you anymore. He is my best friend. He's seen my light and my dark yet he's always been there for me." Arizona quickly looked away from Callie so she wouldn't see the jealousy and old insecurities she still harbored about Mark flare up again.

"Arizona," Callie whispered softly, "Look at me,"she said with more force behind her words

"I had no idea that I would ever see you again ever. So, I figured you would never find out about Mark," Callie reasoned, "And I'm not a vindictive person by nature," she continued, "No matter how much I hurt," her voice breaking, tears spilling out of her eyes, down her cheeks before sliding off of her quivering chin.

"I am in love with you, Arizona," Calliope stated with a quiet vehemence. She grasped Arizona's hands tightly between her own and squeezed gently to get Arizona's undivided attention. She held Arizona's gaze for a few moments before finishing her story.

"And I would _never _do something purposely to hurt you. How could you not know that by now Arizona?" Arizona nodded her head almost imperceptibly offering Callie a sliver of hope in the small smile that graced her lips.

"I do know that," she said removing one hand from Callie's to point to her head, "Up here but my heart, my heart yeah that's another story."

"Tell me what your heart says Arizona," Callie questioned.

"My heart_ hates_ that he got to touch you," she said emphatically startling the other woman with how much venom her words were laced with.

"It's funny," she said, irony in her voice, "I went to Mark to forget your touch, how you make me feel. And now, now I'd give just about anything to remember you...your touch, how _you_ make _me_ feel."

"Me, too Calliope," Arizona whispered huskily, "Me too."

"Then help me remember Arizona," Callie whispered hoarsely standing up so that she was in between Arizona's legs. She took both of Arizona's hands and placed them on her hips holding them there in her own grasp.

"Touch me," she desperately demanded, "Please." Arizona kept her hands in place as she slid off the bar stool. Arizona pushed Callie slightly back so that she could slide off her bar stool. She searched Callie's face carefully for signs of hesitation, or distrust, or uncertainty. In the end it didn't matter what she may or may not have seen in the other woman's eyes. She could not turn Callie's heart felt plea down. Grasping her by the wrist, Arizona led them across the living room to their old bedroom. Arizona maneuvered Callie around so that Callie's back was to the bed. She raised her shaking hand tentatively to cup Callie's cheek. She rubbed her thumb over Callie's trembling bottom lip.

"Where did he touch you Callie, here?" she demanded rubbing her thumb back and forth over her lip. Callie nodded her head not trusting her voice enough to respond verbally. Arizona brought her other hand up to cup Callie's other cheek in her hand. Arizona closed the distance between her mouth and Callie's with painstaking deliberateness leaving no doubt in Callie's mind that she was about to be kissed. Arizona met Callie's lips with a light and leisurely kiss. She took her time getting reacquainted with Callie's mouth wanting to erase any trace that Mark may have left behind and marveling in the other woman's silky, soft lips. Callie whimpered at the contact. Wanting more, Callie brought her arms up to Arizona's shoulders pulling her tightly against her body. Arizona could feel Callie's tight breasts and pert nipples against her own. Encouraged by the responsiveness of the other woman, Arizona ventured further wanting to deepen their kiss. She slid her tongue sensually against Callie's, seeking permission. She was rewarded when Callie opened her mouth to meet Arizona's awaiting tongue. Arizona gasped at the spark ignited when her tongue slid against Callie's. She pulled back in awe, resting her head against Callie's cheek.

"Did he kiss you like that, Calliope?" she asked her voice dripping with sensuality.

"God, No Arizona," Callie swore desperately.

"That's good," Arizona replied, "Did he touch you here?" she asked sliding her hands underneath Callie's shirt, moving up along side her ribs to cup her full breasts through her bra causing Callie to arch her back pressing her breasts more firmly into Arizona's awaiting hands. Callie's eyes closed at the contact and she bit her lip to keep from gasping out loud. Arizona squeezed and kneaded both of Callie's breasts simultaneously causing her nipples to peak stiffly. She tweaked one of Callie's nipples roughly to get her attention.

"I asked you a question, Calliope," Arizona reprimanded, "I need you to answer."

"Umm, I am trying but it is a little hard to concentrate when you are doing that to me," Callie responded astonished.

"Well, try harder," Arizona finished her sentence with a light pinch to Callie's other nipple.

"Yessss," Callie hissed in appreciation to Arizona's ministrations, "He touched me there." Arizona extricated her hands from underneath Callie's shirt to grasp the hem, pulling it up roughly over Callie's head so that she could get to the other woman's skin. She was over come with an inexplicable desire to see Callie's skin, to devour her with her sight. She hastily reached around unfastening the clasp of Callie's bra tossing the bra to the ground below. She feasted her eyes on Callie's bared breasts. Pausing a moment in her visual exploration to note that Callie's breasts seemed fuller, and more round than before. She thought her eyes might be playing tricks on her as well because she could almost swear that Callie's normally creamy mocha brown nipples had darkened a shade or two. Her thoughts were diverted from her pondering when she realized her mouth was watering in anticipation. She unbuttoned Callie's jeans pulling them along with her underwear down to her knees. She roughly pushed Callie down to the bed so that she was in a sitting position. She knelt on the ground to remove the rest of Callie's clothes. She hastily pulled her shirt over her head, flinging her bra across the room. She quickly discarded her pants in a frenzy as well to have skin to skin contact with the other woman. Callie scooted up on the bed so that she was able to lay on her back. Arizona looked at Callie, drinking in the sight of Callie naked before her like a man dying of thirst finding an oasis in the middle of a barren desert. She joined Callie on the bed. She laid on her left side, using her right hand to trace a sensual path up Callie's stomach, up her sensitive side to caress the underside of Callie's left breast. She saw the effects of her touch as tiny goosebumps were left in its wake.

"Calliope," Arizona whispered hotly against her ear sucking the sensitive lobe in her mouth giving it a swirl before she continued, "Did he ever tell you how fucking incredible you look when you get aroused, how irresistibly sexy you are to watch when you are being touched?" she asked cupping Callie's breast in her hand squeezing it softly. "Don't even get me started on how fucking good you taste," she went on to lavish the side of Callie's neck with her tongue carving a blazing path of white heat down Callie's neck to her chest. When she reached her destination, she circled Callie's bud with her tongue before fully encasing it in her warm mouth.

"Mmm," she moaned, "So fucking good," she said around Callie's nipple. Not wanting to neglect, she turned her attention on Callie's other nipple bathing it with the same sultry attention. Arizona's hand snaked its way down to the apex of Callie's legs feeling the heat radiate against her palm as she cupped Callie intimately. Callie ground herself against Arizona's palm in a wanton attempt to get the other woman where she so desperately wanted her.

"Baby you are so wet," Arizona commented, "Did he touch you here?" she asked Callie sliding her fingers through Callie's slick folds pausing at the entrance waiting.

"Yes, he did " Callie admitted, "But please Arizona, I need you to touch me there," she said making sure to emphasize the word you. Arizona raised her head to meet Callie's lips kissing her roughly plunging her tongue into Callie's mouth the same time pushing two fingers into Callie. Callie met Arizona's fingers with a hard thrust of her hips pushing against the fingers inside of her. Arizona matched the pace set by Callie's hips. She knew Callie's body so well, and could sense how close the other woman was. Arizona, reluctant for things to end so quickly, slowly ceased the movement of her hand, instead choosing to blaze a trail by sucking, nipping, kissing her way down to Callie's center.

"I'm gonna make you forget all about the 'Sloan Method," she said breathing against Callie's liquid heat.

"Oh god, please make me forget," Callie panted raising herself up by leaning back on her elbows so she could watch what Arizona was about to do. Arizona removed her sodden fingers and replaced them with her tongue. She tongue fucked Callie for what seemed like an eternity savoring the taste of her lover. Callie squirmed wildly against Arizona's mouth. Arizona withdrew her tongue lapping up one side of Callie's silky fold, down the other deliberately ignoring the pulsating bundle of nerves that would deliver Callie to nirvana. Callie was desperate for release. She grabbed a handful of blonde hair in her fist, giving it a tug. Arizona smiled against Callie before moving her mouth over to Callie's tender nub. She flicked her tongue over it lightly before enclosing the engorged bud fully into her mouth alternating between circular swipes of her tongue and sucking lightly. Callie rocked her hips against Arizona's mouth achieving more contact and friction against her clit. Arizona could feel Callie's impending orgasm as the other woman trembled underneath her. She maintained the pace with her tongue and gently added two fingers adding to Callie's pleasure. Callie trembling uncontrollably felt the stirrings of her orgasm as millions of tiny shivers gathered in her legs traveling upwards. When her orgasm reached its final destination, Callie slammed herself back into the bed arching her back releasing her orgasm into Arizona's eager mouth crying out loudly. After a few moments, Callie released the fistful of hair, and Arizona removed her mouth off of Callie. She rose up from Callie, her fingers still inside the other woman to kiss Callie. Callie moaned at the taste of herself on Arizona's lips opening her mouth to greedily suck Arizona's tongue into her own. Arizona, slowly began moving her fingers inside of Callie. Callie tore her mouth away from Arizona's.

"Oh God," she exclaimed, "What are you doing?"

"I'm making you come again," Arizona said heatedly against Callie's mouth picking up her pace making it fast and hard. Callie was uncertain whether or not she could have another orgasm after the prolonged period of teasing and the intensity of the first orgasm. Before Callie she could even finish the thought, she was writhing and twisting against Arizona as the tremors of another powerful orgasm quaked through her body. Callie clung to Arizona like a life raft as the pleasure ran its course. Arizona was overcome with emotion, and tried to convey her feelings to the other woman by placing soft, butterfly kisses all over Callie's beautiful face. After removing her fingers from Callie, she rested her cheek against Callie's chest using her freed hand to stroke the smooth skin from Callie's hip upwards. While she was caressing the other woman, Arizona listened intently, her ear pressed to Callie's breast, to the thundering heart beat slowly returning to its normal pace. She raised her head up to meet Callie's eyes. Callie's' eyes were glossed over with lingering arousal but that was slowly dissipating as well. Arizona knew that part of the rift between the two of them was because she never fully allowed Callie to completely see her for who she was. Of course she let Callie see at the lightness that made her who she was but she refrained from letting her see the darkness that resided in her as well. Things like hurt, and vulnerability. She hid these things behind a mask of perkiness or stoicism. Especially vulnerability. She never waned to make that leap with anyone before now.

"Calliope," Arizona began with a tremor in her voice, "Did he ever touch you here?" She bent her head down to Callie's' breast bone and placed a gently if not reverent kiss where underneath Callie's heart began to race again with the implication of the question Arizona was asking. She looked at Arizona and what she saw was awe inspiring. Arizona completely stripped down and unmasked for the first time. She saw all the love, loyalty, devotion and hope that made Arizona a lot of who she is but she also saw the insecurities, vulnerability, and fears that got hidden behind rainbow scrub caps and heely shoes. She saw all Arizona had to offer. She held it in her hands, and it was beautiful. She was beautiful. She took Arizona's hand and placed it over her heart.

"No one, not even Mark has _ever _touched my heart the way that you do." Arizona could feel the sincerity behind the words as the steady pounding beneath her palm beat harder and beat faster. She closed her eyes for a moment to allow Callie's love and reassurance wash over her, baptizing her anew. Emboldened by this new level of intimacy reached between the two of them, she opened her eyes to find Callie staring intently at her waiting to see what her next move would be.

"Calliope," Arizona spoke softly, almost shyly, "I want, no I need to remember you as well," trusting that Callie would take care of her in this moment of expressed vulnerability. Callie reached out to grasp Arizona's shoulders and rolled them over so that she was on top of her. She gazed at Arizona for a moment intent memorizing everything about the woman beneath her. Eyes wide open looking into Arizona's eyes dark blue with desire, she slowly moved her mouth down to meet Arizona's and even then she stopped a hairbreadth's stop away from her destination. Arizona smiled at Callie's teasing raising her head up to meet Callie's luscious lips in a soft, sweet, sensual kiss. There was no hurry behind the kiss. Just another languid, and thorough acquaintance. Each woman took turns giving and receiving. Asking and allowing. No one pressing the other for dominance. Callie reluctantly broke the kiss to make her way across Arizona's jaw. She nipped and suckled along her neck up to swath Arizona's earlobe with her hot tongue. Arizona moaned and arched her back in response. This spurred Callie to explore down Arizona's neck to her breasts. Callie rubbed her cheek against each one of Arizona's breasts before directing her attention on Arizona's nipples. She circled one pink

nipple with her tongue and then the other. She lavished attention on each breast and nipple respectively. Arizona let out of hiss of appreciation when she felt Callie nip and tug at her sensitive peak with her teeth. Each nip and tug sent a bolt of white hot electricity directly to the core of her being. Callie began blazing a lightening hot path of kisses down to Arizona's stomach. Arizona realized Callie's intention and grabbed her shoulders halting her descent. Callie looked up at Arizona for an explanation.

"Stay up her with me, Calliope," she asked in a voice spiced with desire. Callie raised herself back up so that she was leaning all her weight on her forearms and elbows. Her body was pressed tightly against Arizona's feeling the wet heat against her own and she set her hips at a slow sensual pace against Arizona.

"Is this what you need, baby?" Callie asked softly in Arizona's ear. Arizona wrapped her legs around Callie's, grabbing Callie's backside in her hands.

"Mmm hmm," she moaned using her hands on Callie's ass to increase the tempo of Callie's grinding against her.

"Oh my god, Arizona, I can so feel you against me," Callie said in a deep desire laden voice.

"Won't take long," Arizona panted through clenched teeth increasing the pace again as she got closer and closer to the point of no return. Callie matched Arizona's thrusts with her own trying to keep up. She could feel herself on the precipice of another orgasm but didn't want to give in before Arizona.

"So close, Callie," she moaned, "You feel so fucking good I'm gonna come."

"Oh god, baby." Callie answered.

"Kiss me," Arizona commanded, "I want you to kiss me while I come." Callie's mouth slammed down against Arizona's both women kissing with wild abandon. Arizona cried out thrusting herself against Callie one final time as her orgasm flooded her body. Callie on the brink herself, thrust a few more times before another powerful orgasm surged through her again causing her to bite down into Arizona's shoulder to keep from screaming out loud. Both women stilled their movements against each other as mini quakes twitched through their cooling bodies. Callie rolled her hot, sweaty body off Arizona's. Both women lay on their backs in a state of semi shock trying to catch their breath.

"Wow," Arizona exclaimed.

"Wow," Callie agreed. Both woman lay prone for awhile but eventually reality crept back in like a cat quietly stalking its prey. Arizona could feel the wheels of Callie's brain spinning wildly. It was a second later that she felt Callie shift so that she was laying on her right side, her head propped up in her hand looking at Arizona. Arizona didn't want to look, she didn't want Callie to open up her mouth to analyze what happened between them.

"Arizona," Callie started off hesitantly, "We need to talk...there is something else I need to tell you." she finished. Arizona rolled to her side as well to face Callie.

"I know. There is a lot we need to talk about, " Arizona agreed, "B-b-but do you think it could wait until the morning? I just want to be able to remember this night, what we shared without it being marred or ruined by a discussion that is bound to bring up more hurt...Do you think we could do that?" Callie rolled onto her back pulling Arizona with her so that she was cradled in her arms. She placed a kiss on the top of the blond's head before responding, "Yeah, I think that can be managed." She closed her eyes reveling because she had the woman she loved back in her arms again. Their future was nebulous and uncertain at best. However, each woman had come to the same conclusion on their own: Tonight they were certainly where they were meant to be, if only for the night.

Callie slept more soundly than she had in month. She slowly opened her eyes waiting for them to adjust to the incoming light. Stretching languidly, she reached out to the other side of the bed expecting to find Arizona still very much asleep. Instead she was met with the cold reality of an empty bed. She sat up brusquely intent on finding where the other woman was. As soon as Callie's feet touched the cold wooden floor, she was pummeled with an overwhelming rush of nausea causing her to make a mad dash to the bathroom. After nearly breaking her neck tripping over various items of discarded clothing, she made it to the toilet just in time to lift the seat up to violently spill out what was left of the contents of her stomach. Callie lost all sense of time as tsunami's of nausea crippled her body. She was in the middle of a particularly nasty stretch of retching when she felt relief in the form of a cool, damp cloth being pressed to the back of her clammy neck. Callie looked over to see Arizona kneeling beside her and was mortified to have been caught in such a compromising situation.

"You know," Arizona said kneeling at the sink to run the rag under the cool water, "This won't last forever," she said wiping the sweat off Callie's forehead, face, and neck.

"This?" Callie croaked hoarsely.

"Morning sickness," she replied knowingly. Callie quickly diverted her attention away from Arizona's penetrating gaze shocked out of embarrassment but more out of fear of what Arizona would do now that her dreaded secret was flushed out into the open or more appropriately, flushed down the toilet. Arizona rose from her kneeling position exiting the bathroom without a word or a backward glance at Callie. Callie's eyes widened and her mouth dropped in shock.

"_How many times will that have to happen before it doesn't hurt me anymore_?" she wondered incredulously.

"I knew it," Callie said aloud to herself, "I KNEW it," she said even louder

"Knew what?" Arizona said pushing the door of the bathroom with one hand while holding a change of clothes in the other hand.

"Hmm, what?" Callie said evasively, "Don't know what you're talking about..."

"I just left to get you some clothes," Arizona said tersely, "Unless you prefer sitting on the cold floor completely naked," she asked holding the clothes out towards the naked woman. Callie reached up to take the clothes being offered to her but was assaulted by another way of incapacitating nausea.

"Ugh," she groaned placing her arms around her middle attempting to quell the nausea.

"Here," Arizona said kneeling next to Callie on the floor, "Let me help?" Callie swallowed the huge lump of pride that lodged itself in her throat choking her of speech. She nodded mutely her assent. Arizona delicately slide an old worn t-shirt over Callie's head, pulling it down over her shoulders so Callie could put her arms into the shirt finishing by pulling it down over her abdomen.

"Can you stand?" she asked gently. Callie took a deep breath to staunch the nausea using the toilet seat as leverage to brace herself into a standing position.

"Put your hands on my shoulders," Arizona instructed as she held Callie's panties out for her to step into. Once on, she quickly slid a pair of boxers over them. She stood up to survey her work. Satisfied that Callie was presentable, she turned to the sink snatching Callie's toothbrush, she squeezed a generous glob of toothpaste onto it. She looked at Callie's reflection in the mirror as she did so. Meeting the other woman's eyes, Arizona was reminded of how an animal looks when it is cornered and frightened.

"Take some time to get yourself together," Arizona spoke deliberately attempting to ease Callie's concerns, "And when you're done, I will be waiting in the kitchen. Then we will talk." She turned from the sink to hand Callie her toothbrush. Instead of grabbing the item being offered, Callie grabbed Arizona's wrist.

"You'll be there," Callie asked more harshly than intended.

"Yes, Calliope, I will be there," Arizona assured.

While Callie was in the bath getting herself presentable, Arizona used her nervous energy busying herself in the kitchen. She filled up the tea kettle with water placing it on the stove to boil. Opening up the dishwasher to get a mug, she noticed they were clean so she set about unloading it. After putting all the dishes away, the shrill of the kettle sounded indicating the water was boiling. She turned off the stove removing the kettle pouring the steaming water into the mug. Callie finally came out of the bathroom to discover Arizona rummaging through some bags from the closest drug store.

"Oh good," Arizona said just a little too brightly upon noticing Callie's emergence from the bathroom, "You're out."

"Uh, what are you doing?" Callie asked suspiciously.

"Wellll, I woke this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, so I got dressed, came out here to get a drink but there was nothing in the fridge except old, nasty milk," she rambled, "So I got went to the store to get some things," she said holding up the two bags full of stuff. Callie eyed the bag warily as Arizona pulled random items out of the bag.

"I got Q-tips, chap stick, andddd ooh here it is," she shouted excitedly holding up the box of tea high above her head in the air.

"Tea," Callie questioned arching her eyebrows.

"Not just any tea, Calliope," Arizona smiled sweetly walking over to the cup on the counter, removing a bag, placing it into the hot water. She slid the mug, sugar, and a clean spoon across the counter towards Callie.

"It's chamomile, which as you know, is good for nausea," she commented in her best mom like voice, "Oh and I got you some vitamins, not prenatal 'cause a lot of people can't tolerate them so I got you some Flintstones which are just as good," she went off on a tangent again.

"Arizona," Callie said too softly for the other woman to hear, "Arizona," she said more loudly this time. Arizona looked up at Callie pausing her diatribe to take note of the look of utter wonder and gratitude at the other woman's complete thoughtfulness.

"H-h-how," she choked out. Arizona walked around the counter to the side that Callie stood on, sitting down on the same bar stool she occupied the night before. Arizona thought about the myriad of things that went put together, equaled in Callie being pregnant. Things like being easily annoyed, or the extremes of emotions, or perhaps it was the uncharacteristic spitefulness she encountered whenever she tried to communicate with the other woman.

"How did I know?" she clarified for the other woman. Callie nodded her head wiping her tear stained cheeks with the back of her hand.

"In retrospect, there were several things," Arizona began, "But one definite thing or two rather really sealed it in my head that you were pregnant."

"Two?" Callie inquired.

"Yeah, two," Arizona replied sheepishly gesturing with her hand towards Callie's breasts.

"My boobs," Callie grinned in disbelief, "What's wrong with my boobs?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," Arizona assuaged, "They're wonderful. Just a little bit bigger than before," she told Callie. Callie held her shirt open at the neck to examine her breasts. As Callie was occupied with her inspection, Arizona commented further, "Oh and your nipples and surrounding areas may be a little bit darker too." Callie looked up at Arizona and said, "I can't believer you could tell I am going to have a baby by looking at my boobs," causing Arizona's cheeks to pink slightly.

"Yeah well, what can I say Calliope," Arizona chuckled with chagrin shrugging her shoulders, "I've always been a boob girl." Callie smirk and Arizona's chagrin gave way to heart felt laughter. As quick as the laughter began, it left the two women in an awkward silence neither wanted to broach.

"What are we going to do," Callie asked feeling a sense of deja vue sweep over her as she asked the same question that in the past had resulted in the pair breaking up.

"Wellll," Arizona drawled out stalling for time,"I told you I am not going to run away again, and I meant it."

"I hear a but," Callie responded waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I'm not running away again, Calliope. I'm not,"she emphasized, "But I can't see myself running into this either." Callie looked away quickly gluing her eyes to a crack in the ceramic tile on the kitchen floor dreading the words that were going to come out of Arizona's mouth next.

"Sooo what I'd like to do, if it is alright with you," she paused, "What I'd like to do is move in to Cristina's old room."

"And what," Callie snapped angrily, "We'll be...like roommates?" Arizona purposely chose to ignore Callie's rant chalking it up to hormones.

"Well," Arizona told her levelly, "All I know is moving in with you even if it is as your roommate, for now, is _something_. And _something _is better than nothing," she finished the last part of her sentence as an unspoken plea. Callie was struck with an epiphany causing her head and neck to snap back as if she were actually slapped in the face. Arizona was willing to bend for her, and she had a very important decision to make. She could hold onto all of her demons. Some of them had been in her company long before Arizona like fear of abandonment, and insecurity. She could hold onto them, or, she could go all in and trust that no matter what, the love they felt for each other would be a guiding light leading both women back where they needed to be. In the end, it wasn't such a hard decision at all. Callie, choosing actions over words, walked silently over to the pile of boxes that Arizona lugged in earlier. Picking up a box, she looked at Arizona expectantly, "These boxes aren't going to move themselves," she chided good naturedly. Arizona's deep blue eyes met Callie's warm brown eyes. Mirrored gazes held love, compromise, and hope. All together, that was something. And after all, something is definitely better than nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Truth Be Told**

** I was persuaded to continue with this story. The original story was intended to be a one shot deal, so the ensuing chapters will be relatively shorter. As always, I would appreciate any feed back.**

Arizona and Callie worked in companionable silence steadily bringing box after box into the apartment. They actually ended up bringing in all of Callie's things as well. Both women figured if they were going to try it, they needed to put all their cards on the table going all in. As time wore on, Arizona noted Callie's struggle. She noticed the uneven breathing, the steps that slowed down with each succession of boxes. Arizona observed Callie struggling with particularly nasty box filled with medical journals and books. She took the box from Callie, placing it on her bed.

"Hey Callie," she said nonchalantly, "I'm thinking about making myself something to eat. Do you want me to make you something as well?" Callie stopped dead in her tracks whipping around to look at Arizona in astonishment.

"Arizona," Callie said head tilted to the side in suspicion, hand on her hip, "You are going to cook something?" she questioned.

"Well, yeah, that's the plan," Arizona smiled brightly tossing her blond curls around meeting Callie's dubious expression.

"And you think it is going to be edible?" Callie questioned seriously eyes narrowing doubtfully..

"Yes," Arizona replied her conviction beginning to waver a bit.

"You do remember the time you set the stove on fire trying to boil water," Callie reminded pointedly.

"I did not set the stove on fire trying to boil water," Arizona said indignantly in her defense, "I was trying to make pancakes."

"Pancakes? Whatever that is my point exactly," Callie responded triumphantly, "I'm cooking us something to eat. What do you feel like having Arizona?" Arizona turned away from Calliope before the other woman could see the victorious smile fall across her face.

"Whatever you want to make will be fine," she said sighing mock defeat still trying to keep up the charade. Truth be told, Arizona wasn't especially hungry. She could see Calliope struggling with how the pregnancy was effecting her body making her especially tiresome, and she decided to give Callie a break even though the other woman would never admit that she needed one.

"I'll see what I can manage then,"Callie said rummaging through the boxes labeled food grateful for the pause in activity. Truth be told, the pregnancy was taking a toll on Callie's body. First, with extreme mood swings, then with vicious nausea, and now extreme tiredness. The bridge being built between them was definitely under construction, and Callie was worried that admitting how tired she was to Arizona because of being pregnant with Mark's baby would be another painful reminder she wished to spare Arizona from. So, Callie would take respite where she could preparing them a gourmet meal of chicken salad sandwiches, mandarin oranges in light fructose corn syrup, with chocolate pudding cups for dessert. Callie sat their plates on the bar, calling Arizona over. Arizona eyed the food greedily realizing she was more hungry than she originally thought. Callie mistook the look Arizona was giving her sandwich for displeasure.

"I know you hate sandwiches," she said apologetically.

"No Callie," she reassured, "I'm starving and this looks especially delicious. I can't wait to sink my teeth into these," she indicated holding up her mandarin oranges in mock delight. "And I don't have to worry about so many calories since they are in light fructose corn syrup," she read off the back of the container. Callie chuckled as Arizona listed off the ingredients first off the oranges before turning her scrutiny to the chocolate pudding.

"Alright, alright," Callie admonished, "We can make a list and I'll go to the grocery store!" Arizona nodded her head and both women absorbed themselves by consumingtheir hodge podge meal. Each woman sat contemplating the roller coaster ride of events that had transpired during the last two days. If someone had told Arizona three days ago that Calliope would be on speaking terms with her, she would've laughed right in their face and paged for a psychiatric consult. Arizona snapped out of her reverie to thank Callie for lunch.

"You're welcome, Arizona," Callie said graciously, "I really should be thanking you."

"Oh what for?" Arizona asked puzzled.

"For forcing me to take a break by pretending you were hungry enough to cook," Callie said shooting a wry look in Arizona's direction.

"I knew you would never let me set foot in the kitchen again after my last debacle," Arizona laughed softly.

"Well, it was really sweet of you to be worried," Callie started, "But I'm just pregnant Arizona, and I won't break, ya know."

"I do," she responded seriously as if she'd ever be able to forget the pregnancy and the circumstances surrounding it. "Speaking of being pregnant, what did Mark have to say about the whole thing?" Callie snatched up their dirty plates and spoons off the counter taking them to the sink trying to divert Arizona's attention away from that particular subject.

"Callie," Arizona said sharply, "You told him, right?" Callie stalled for as long as she could before responding.

"Umm," she said evasively feeling like a wild animal caught in a trap, "No he doesn't know about the baby yet. Arizona paused letting the knowledge that she was the first and only person to know slowly wash over her.

"Why haven't you told him," she asked gently. Callie inhaled deeply expelling her response in one singular breath.

"I just found out yesterday morning and it hasn't exactly sunk in with me yet and then there was the whole elevator thing, followed by the talking thing, ending with the amazing, mind blowing, earth shattering sex thing, so exactly when was I supposed to tell Mark?" she finished out of breath.

"Take a deep breath Calliope," Arizona demanded watching as Callie inhaled deeply satisfied that she had replenished her air supply before continuing, "I'm the only one who knows?" she asked with a touch of desperation in her voice. She needed something about this whole messed up situation to be unique and special only to her.

"_You_ are the only one," Callie replied reaching across the counter to hold Arizona's hand in her own stroking Arizona's palm with her thumb. Callie looked desperately at Arizona trying to convey with those five words everything she couldn't say. She wanted Arizona to know that she was the only one she ever loved, the only one she ever wanted to make love to, the only one she ever pictured herself forever with. Arizona saw the emotions flash across Callie's face and it brought tears flooding back into her eyes. Overwhelmed, she had to look away.

"Is it wrong," she started deliberately, "To be glad that he doesn't know, and I do?" Callie closed her eyes in response nodding her head no and Arizona continued, "Is it wrong to wish that he never had to find out?" she questioned Callie. Again Callie nodded her head negatively. Arizona sighed heavily looking up at the ceiling as her moral compass took hold. As much as she would love to create another protective bubble around them both, time was not their friend. Mark would see Callie's ballooning belly putting two and two together.

"The truth will be told eventually," she began looking first into Callie's deep brown eyes to her non-existent tummy in order to make her point clear, "If it were me, I would want to know."

"I don't know what to do Arizona," Callie confessed painfully.

"He'll...want...to...know, Calliope," she emphasized, "He'll be hurt and enough people are going to be hurt by this," making an implication toward Lexie as well. She stood up ready to end the conversation.

"Tell him," she said turning her back to Callie, "And soon," she exited the room to resume unpacking respectfully leaving Callie alone with her thoughts. Callie knew she was absolutely right, and she wished she could hate her for it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: There's a Method to Madness

AN: It was brought to my attention the similarity between a part of my last chapter, and a scene from the L word in which Jessica Capshaw was in. It was totally unintentional and so I am giving credit for the similarity to the writers/creators of the L word.

After lunch, Callie tried to go about her life as usual. Considering everything that transpired in the last couple of days, she was extremely glad to have reprieve in the form of a day off from work. While being able to rest physically was a tremendous blessing, it was paradoxically a curse as well leaving her in solitary confinement with only her thoughts to keep her company. Particularly thoughts about the best way to inform Mark that she was having his child. An especially poignant statement made by Arizona regarding how much this pregnancy had the potential to harm kept weighing on her heart. Normally, she would hash whatever was bothering her out with Mark, however the current situation she was in rendered that option totally null and void. She tried every possible distraction she could think of from unpacking boxes, listening to music, even dancing it out. In the end it was futile, no amount of distraction could ease the burden of knowing what she had to do. Callie expelled an outward sigh running her hand through her hair in frustration before plopping unceremoniously down on the couch. She flipped the TV on primarily for some background noise as she stared at the ceiling searching in vain for ways to spare the people she cared about. Thinking so much was exhausting work, and before long Callie succumbed to her fatigue falling asleep on the couch.

After Arizona situated her room, she met Teddy for some coffee and much needed girl talk. Teddy always had good insight, and coffee turned into dinner with more girl talk a la carte. Arizona returned to the apartment she was sharing with Callie feeling invigorated and hopeful. Walking in the door, she set her take out on the counter noticing the TV was on. Figuring Callie left it on, she walked towards the living area to switch it off. She did a double take when she saw Callie lying prone on the couch with her left arm draped casually across her stomach, and her right arm covering her eyes from the remnants of the afternoon sun coming in from the window. She felt the wind being knocked out of her as she was overwhelmed by how tranquil and beautiful she look. Her heart pounded so hard in her chest with undeniable love for Callie that she could literally feel it filling her chest. She put a hand to her heart to quell the intensity of her feelings. She took a moment to memorize before sitting down on the edge of the couch next to Callie. She moved Callie's hand so that it lay in her lap and tenderly brushed an errant hair from Callie's forehead. The other woman stirred sleepily turning her face into Arizona's hand so that Arizona was cupping her cheek. She placed a tender kiss into Arizona's palm. Arizona's body immediately reacted causing her to tense up. Realizing what she had just done caused Callie to react defensively tensing up as well. She feared that she had just crossed a boundary in their newly formed peace treaty. Callie sat up nervously looking at Arizona apprehension spreading across her semi-sleepy face.

"I'm sorry," she said more as a question. Arizona squeezed the hand she held in her lap offering an encouraging smile.

"I don't want you to be sorry for something that comes natural to you," she told Callie immediately relieving the other woman of any fear or guilt she had for her actions. But Callie was still confused needing clarification.

"So you want me to touch you and do thing like that?" she asked eyebrows creased together in confusion.

"I know it may seem like taking a total step backwards after..." she paused looking for the right word to define what happened between them last night.

"After screwing my brains out," Callie supplied for the hesitant woman.

"Right, after that," Arizona said blushing furiously, "but I want us to be able to get back to where we were before Africa, only better," Arizona explained. "That's why I wanted to live here with you so we can take things slow," she continued explaining, "I hope that the more we are around each other, the less strained and awkward things will become between us. We learn to fully trust one another."

"And being around each other all the time gives us no choice but to deal with out...stuff," Callie replied slowly as she began grasping Arizona's slightly flawed logic, "Especially if we hope to move forward."

"Yes, Calliope, yes," Arizona exclaimed happy that Callie seemed to be realizing there was indeed a method behind her madness.

"I hope this works, Arizona, " Callie muttered mainly to herself. Arizona looked at Callie seeing her heart laid open and bare in her warm, brown eyes.

"It will," she told Callie a little over confidently, "It has to," she whispered feeling uncertainty and insecurities creeping in like the tide.

Neither woman knew exactly how to proceed from this point. There certainly wasn't a road map to guide them through this treacherous journey from being together, to breaking up, to reuniting, to being a continent away and finally to being roommates. They sat together in an extremely awkward silence until they were saved by the obnoxious complaint that rumbled loudly from Callie's stomach like thunder rolling in on a stormy night. Arizona's eyes widened in shock at the sounds resonating from Callie's tummy.

"My god, " she exclaimed incredulously, "You need to feed that thing!" she said jokingly pointing at Callie's stomach.

"Right!" Callie agreed laughing, "I still need to get to the store though."

"Ohh," Arizona said brightly remember the left over she brought home, "Teddy and I ate dinner at Mama Rosa's, and I have leftovers," she informed in a sing songy voice.

"Mama Rosa's," Callie questioned enviously, "And you are telling me this why?"

"I'll heat them up for you on one condition," she said using the food as a ploy to spend more time with Callie.

"Name your terms, Robbins," Callie commanded.

"You can have my left over pollo Rosa Maria on a bed of creamy fettuccine alfredo if..." she paused dramatically, "You let me watch the Housewives of New Jersey marathon that is on right now," she expelled the last part in a hurried breath.

"That's it," Callie asked clarifying the terms of the agreement, "Housewives of New Jersey?"

"I know you can't stand those women that have more cash than couth," Arizona commented warily. Callie laughed inwardly at Arizona because even though she put up a righteous protest against all things New Jersey, secretly she shared the same secret obsession with the trashy housewives of New Jersey.

"So we have a deal, Torres?" Arizona asked on the brink of giddiness. Callie smiled at the other woman nodding her head affirmatively.

"We have a deal," she confirmed.

"Yay!" Arizona squealed springing from the couch to heat up Callie's leftovers doing a little dance to celebrate her victory on the way to the kitchen. While Arizona busied herself in the kitchen, Callie picked up the remote switching it to the Bravo channel. A few moments later, Arizona handed Callie the plate of food along with a fork, napkin, and glass of ice water.

"Thank you for getting it for me," Callie said graciously, "But I could've gotten it."

"I know you could Calliope, but I like taking care of you," she shrugged taking a seat on the other end of the couch settling herself in for some catty drama in the name of the Housewives of New Jersey.

Arizona and Callie sat together in contentedly. Callie eating her food and Arizona absorbed in the latest quarrel that resulted in a hair pulling brawl. The silence was punctuated with the occasional exclamation towards Arizona's least favorite character Danielle or words of encouragement for her favorite housewife: Deena. Callie finished her food setting her empty plate on the coffee table. She sat back taking the opportunity to unabashedly gaze at Arizona. Arizona's beauty was something she could never get used to because it was so multifaceted, and ever changing. It never failed to fill her with a complete sense of wonder and awe. In that moment of secret scrutiny, Callie realized the pedestal on which she put Arizona upon inadvertently neglecting the other woman's flaws. She now could see Arizona without the rose colored glasses of new love and the excitement of hot sex. She was now able to see how all of Arizona's imperfections enhanced that beauty that was Arizona filling her yet again with a sense of wonder and awe.

While Callie was busy studying the other woman, Arizona tried using the distraction of the television show to keep her mind from stirring up all the questions she had about their future. She wanted to spend time with Callie and just be present in the moment but her racing mind would never allow that to happen. Arizona's internal struggle didn't go unnoticed by Callie. She reached across the back of the couch to where Arizona's hand was draped casually across the back.

"Hey," she said softly to get her attention, "What is it?" she asked concerned. Arizona fidgeted nervously in her seat. She looked from their joined hands to Callie's caring face, back to their hands gluing her eyes to the hands entwined together on the back of the couch.

"You're going to tell Mark soon," she questioned the vulnerability evident by the trembling in her voice Callie scooted closer to Arizona on the couch pulling their hands down off the sofa resting them on her thigh. She turned Arizona's hand over in the process rubbing her thumb over Arizona's palm in a gesture meant to be soothing.

"Tomorrow, OK," she told the scared woman, "I don't know what or how to do it but I will do it tomorrow." Arizona let out the tremulous breath she didn't know she was holding.

"It's been a long day," Arizona commented, "I think I will turn in," she said standing up brusquely.

"That's probably a good idea," Callie agreed rising up off the couch as well.

"Good night Callie," Arizona said softly before brushing her lips tenderly across Callie's cheek.

"Good night," Callie whispered softly back to Arizona's retreating frame bringing her hand cupping the spot Arizona just kissed. She took the reassurance being offered to her this night in the form of a kiss because she knew that tomorrow's ground was too uncertain for plans. While tomorrow was uncertain, her hope from them all was not.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: What Dreams May Come**

Callie's night was fraught with restlessness coupled with tossing and turning. When she finally did manage to nod off, her sleep was consumed by dreams with an odd nightmarish quality attached to them. She shuddered at the memory of one particularly horrific dream about blue and pink bunnies. She originally had one beautiful, pink bunny to care for and love but every time she turned around, there was another bunny screaming and crying for her attention. It really gave the term "multiplying like bunnies" new meaning. She saw Mark floating by on cloud 69. He was on a giant water bed being hand fed grapes by Lexie. She cried out in desperation for him to help her, but he just laughed as he floated by carefree unaffected by her turmoil. Next she turned to Arizona for help. Arizona was on a beautiful, shiny pink, fluffy cloud with a multitude of women lined up vying for a chance to be with the hot woman. Arizona met Callie's desperate cry for help with a shrug of her shoulders as if to say, "I told you there'd be woman lining up for me." Eventually Callie was overcome by the bunnies drowning in a sea of pinks and blues. Callie awoke from the dream dripping in sweat, and gasping for air. It took her a moment to get her heart rate, and breathing down to a normal rate. She became more determined than ever to sort this portion of her life out. So, she showered brusquely and with purpose. She dressed herself with determination. She was feeling a little queasy this morning but she didn't know if it was morning sickness or nerves. Nevertheless, she decided it was in her best interest to save breakfast for later. Arizona was at the breakfast bar in her fuzzy pink pajamas adorned with cute little bunnies. She was eating a bowl of cereal while reading the morning paper. Callie shuddered upon seeing the bunny pajamas.

"I'm going to talk to Mark," she informed Arizona with determination in her voice.

"Oh, good, that's good," Arizona replied obviously flustered, "Good luck with that," she told Callie. Callie strode intently out of her apartment. Using her key, Callie let herself into Mark's apartment calling out in greeting to her friend as she entered.

"Back here," came Mark's muffled reply indicating to Callie that he was in his bedroom. Callie reluctantly made her way to his room feeling like a woman about to face a firing squad. Opening the door, she poked her head in to see her best friend still in bed.

"Morning, Torres," Mark said cheerfully, "Come to bring me breakfast in bed?" he joked lasciviously wagging his eyebrows in mock seduction.

"Mark," Callie began apprehensively taking a deep breath to calm her nerves and wringing her hands together nervously. Mark noted his best friend's demeanor immediately getting alarmed.

"What is it, Callie?" he questioned concerned, "Did Blondie…"

"No Mark," Callie interrupted sitting down on the edge of his bed, "This doesn't have anything to do with Arizona. Well, not directly. This is about us. Me and you."

"What is wrong, Callie? Did I say or do something," Mark rambled anxiously afraid that he did something to alienate his best friend. "I know I've been hard on Arizona pointing out all her faults and all…"

"I'm pregnant," Callie blurted out but Mark continued on unaware of what Callie just told him.

"But I thought that is what I was supposed to do being your best friend," he continued his ramble. Mark's eyes widened as the auditory part of his brain registered the words that came out of Callie's mouth a few moments before.

"Wait, what did you just say?" Mark asked confused needing clarification.

"I'm pregnant," Callie said slowly like she would to a child that was having a hard time understanding, "And you are the father," she added quietly. Mark sat back in his bed staring intently at the ceiling as Callie's words flooded him with various emotions like dread, anxiety, but ultimately it was the joy he felt that he clung to like a child clings to a security blanket. Callie lay back on the bed next to mark allowing him time to compose his thoughts. When Mark still had yet to say anything, Callie's impatience and insecurities got the best of her. Sighing loudly Callie says, "You have to say something. Words, make words," she tells Mark gesturing with her hands.

"Holy crap?" Marks responds more as a question than an exclamation.

"Yup," Callie concurs quickly.

"A baby?" Mark's disbelief rapidly segues to joy.

"Growing like a weed in my uterus," Callie states.

"Not like a weed," Mark corrects removing his hands from underneath his head sitting up on his right side to look at Callie before continuing, "Like a mighty oak. We're gonna be great parents," he finishes gesturing between the two of them.

"Mark, you don't have to," Callie says offering her friend a way out.

"Are you kidding?" Mark says happily looking form her face to her belly, "That's my kid in there. I'm a dad," his semi-serious, semi-silly tone made Callie giggle.

"We're parents," he continued gesturing between the two of them, "Of a baby," he commented happily placing his hand on Callie's belly causing her to giggle even more.

"Ok," Callie said relieved, "You're in."

"Should we get married," Mark wondered aloud.

"OH no," Callie replied quickly, "I'm all for raising a baby with you but uh, there's a line," she said patting his hand.

"That's good because I'm in love with Lexie and it would be…Oh my God, Lexie," Mark said in a pained voice placing his hand to his forehead as the implication of Callie having his baby would have on Lexie.

"What am I going to tell Lexie?" he bemoaned.

"Okay," Callie said getting off the bed so she could make a hasty retreat, "You think about that," she finished turning on her heel before leaving Mark's bedroom. She made it across Mark's living room about to reach for the door handle when she heard Mark exclaim loudly, followed by a thump, and a scramble. Callie craned her head listening to see if Mark needed help with something. She didn't have to wait long because Mark came running out of his room like a man being hunted down by a rabid pack of demons.

"Arizona," Mark said breathily, "She's going to kill me," fear evident in his deep voice. Callie looked at him quizzically.

"You do realize that you are naked, right?" she said pointing at Mark's naughty bits.

"Being naked or not being naked doesn't matter when you are dead," Mark deadpanned.

"Mark," she said raising her hands in an attempt to calm, "She knows already. I told her yesterday." Mark paused a long time letting the news that Arizona knew about him getting Callie pregnant sink in.

"She knows," he questioned doubtfully, "And…" he drawled out waiting for Callie to fill in the missing blanks for him.

"Look," she said shrugging her shoulders apologetically, "She is in no way happy about the whole situation," she paused to open the door, "I've hidden all her bricks but if I were you, if you see her, run, run for your life!"

"That's your wonderful solution?" Mark asked shaking his head incredulously.

"I'm just saying," Callie laughed before shutting the door.

"Suck it, Torres," Mark shouted as Callie retreated.

"Run for your life," she shouted back before opening the door to her apartment. She was taken aback to see Arizona sitting dejectedly on the couch with a box of tissues in her hand.

"Hey," Callie said concerned, "You wanna talk?"

"He was over the moon about the baby, wasn't he?" she asked Callie

"Yeah, he is thrilled, but he is worried about Lexie…"  
"I want to say some not nice things to you," Arizona informed interrupting Callie before she could tell her more about how Mark felt about being a dad, "And I want you to listen without our relationship status coming into question," she continued anger creeping into her voice, "And without you turning your back on me," she finished.

"Okay," Callie agreed out of confusion not knowing where all this anger was coming from.

"I'm mad," Arizona told Callie through clenched teeth, "I'm mad that you slept with someone else. And I know we were broken up, but still…you _slept_ with someone else. And I am even madder that that person had a penis and got you pregnant," she retorted angrily continuing her angry rant, "I know you're bisexual, I know that…"

"Would you have rather I slept with a busty red head and I don't know gotten herpes cause…"Callie responded with sarcasm.

"You have to give me a chance to process," Arizona shouted loudly, "I'm processing!" she exclaimed out of righteous indignation.

"I didn't plan this, okay?" Callie told the angry woman. Callie moved from where she was standing to sit before Arizona on the coffee table.

"I-I didn't plan _any_ of this," she started hesitantly, "But there's a…" she said looking for a word to describe what was going on within her body Mark's words echoing in her mind, "A mighty oak or whatever showing up in our lives in about seven months. So, now I have to plan. And I don't know how long I can wait for you to process or what you are even doing here," she said sweeping her hand across the apartment," But, I want you…in my plan," she said fervently watching as a long tear escaped Arizona's tear filled eyes leaving a watery trail down her cheek before Arizona hastily wiped it away. Callie paused waiting for Arizona to meet her eyes.

"I want you to be part of my plan, so I need to know, are you in?" Callie whispered the question softly. Arizona locked her eyes into Callie's seeing Callie's genuine heart, and hearing the absolute truth behind her words. Callie's heart spoke to hers in a language that has existed since the beginning of man. Her heart demanded that Arizona rise to the occasion and meet Callie halfway. Arizona's heart fought a valiant battle internally against Arizona's pride. Arizona was nothing if not stubborn. In the end, it was her pride that was victorious in the end. Callie noticed immediately at the wall being thrown up between them. It was evident as Arizona's eyes went from wounded yet open to ice cold blue and completely closed off to anything being offered to her.

"I-I-I can't answer that right now," she stammered, "I'm just so, so angry," she finished getting up off the couch leaving Callie staring at her retreating back, her mouth agape in shock.

"_What the hell just happened?" _Callie wondered incredulously, "_One minute we're living together working on things, and now this?"_ she continued her internal dialogue with herself. Callie felt as if she was blindsided by a Mack truck. She was even more confused than ever by Arizona's sudden turn about to anger, and she didn't see it coming at all. She took a moment to think about what was behind the events that just occurred. Her mind was still a muddy mess. She realized that things between her and Arizona were progressing at warp speed and if the shoe were on the other foot, she would be devastated, hurt, and angry. Callie made a very important decision. Callie decided that she would let Arizona keep her anger, for now. Callie knew how she wanted things to be for the two of them, and if dealing with an angry Arizona was the price she had to pay, she would gladly pay it for the chance at happily ever after. She would be crazy not to, and although Callie was being riddled with hormones making her feel like a lunatic on a full moon, Calliope Torres was anything but crazy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Operation Manwhore**

Arizona left for work shortly after her last conversation with Callie. Mark and Callie were scheduled for the same shift later in the day, so they went into work together. They were heading towards the attending locker room when Callie spotted Arizona bounding towards, them hair bouncing off her shoulders. Callie froze. Mark looked at Callie to see why she had stopped moving. He saw a look of sheer terror on her face, and followed her gaze to the object that was causing her fear. He froze in place as well.

"Should I?" Mark asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, go." Callie instructed. Mark swiveled on his heel quickly departing the scene.

"You can run, Manwhore," Arizona shouted down the hall, "But you can't hide forever." Callie just raised her eyebrows quizzically at Arizona muttering incoherently under her breath attempting to pass by the other woman. Arizona grasped her forearm stopping Callie from passing by her.

"Calliope," she said seriously, "I feel like I owe you some sort of explanation or apology for my behavior earlier."

"Don't Arizona," Callie offered more as a truce, "You don't have to do either."

"Of course I don't have to," Arizona stated matter of factly, "But I want to," she said the sincerity evident in her voice. Arizona ran her hand nervously through her golden girls shuffling from one foot to the other.

"I'm just afraid of how bad it is going to sound to you," she confessed worriedly. Callie brought her right hand to clasp Arizona's shoulder for comfort.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," Callie replied as non-judgmentally as possible. Arizona exhaled audibly before answering.

"Part of me was hoping," she began timidly closing her eyes so she didn't have to see how her words were going to impact Callie, "Part of me was hoping that Mark wouldn't want to be involved in this baby's life and that it could be just the two of us raising this child together," she finished out of breath. She braced herself expecting a tongue lashing from the tempestuous Latina. When it didn't come, she took a chance opening her right eye just a sliver. She had to open both eyes fully to register completely the look she was receiving from Callie. Instead of fire and anger, there was sympathy and compassion. In all honesty, Arizona would have preferred the fire and anger to the sympathy and compassion. The latter made her feel extremely ashamed of herself causing her to look away guiltily.

"No, Arizona," Callie said sharply trying to regain her attention, "It doesn't make you a terrible person to feel that way. It just means that you are human," she stressed.

"You are entitled to have feelings about this," she paused searching for a name for the situation they were currently in, "Crazy, messed up situation," she continued.

"I'm just really glad that one of the feelings that you have is a willingness to try," she finished softly. Arizona jerked her head up quickly in surprise and relieved that Callie was being so gracious about how she reacted earlier in the day. It still didn't alleviate the guilt she had about taking her anger out on Callie, so she felt like she needed to set some boundaries in which to operate so she said, "But it isn't okay for me to take my anger out on you or vice versa."

"No," Callie agreed, "It isn't but if you are angry, be angry."

"I promise to try to communicate my feelings better with you from now on Calliope," Arizona said solemnly. Attempting to alleviate the tense feelings the conversation stirred up in the other woman, Callie held out her right pinky finger to Arizona.

"Pinky promise?" Callie challenged. Arizona smiled at Callie's antics taking Callie's pinky linking it with her own, shaking it lightly.

"Pinky promise," she avowed.

"Alright then," Callie said smiling.

"See you later?" Arizona questioned hopefully.

"Yes, you will," Callie affirmed resuming her journey to the locker room.

"Don't break the pinky promise," she hollered to Arizona over her shoulder. Not waiting for a reply, she opened the door to the locker room closing it swiftly behind her. Arizona shook her head smiling to herself.

"_I won't_," she silently vowed to herself before going off in search of Mark.

Hunting down her prey was a little bit ore challenging than she originally estimated. It seemed like Mark had ESP or radar detection when it came to Arizona finding him. She would have him locked in her sights but at the last minute, he'd duck and weave leaving Arizona a fleeting glimpse of his cowardly behind. She thought she had him cornered this last time but Mark was crafty ducking off the floor by way of the fire stairs By the time she reached the stairwell, all she could hear was his hasty footsteps echoing throughout the stairwell leaving her no indication as to what floor he could possibly be on. Arizona decided it was time to call in for back up. Over lunch with Teddy, she solicited the help of her closest ally.

"Here's the situation," Arizona began telling her friend what was going on, "Mark got Callie pregnant while I was in Africa saving tiny humans, and now he is hiding from me because he knows I want to rip his happy sack off with my bare hands."

"Happy sack?" Teddy questioned Arizona's choice of words.

"Yeah, happy sack," she answered quickly, "Focus, I need your help. He's proved to be more elusive and cunning that I ever gave him credit for," she said more to herself than to Teddy.

"And I can help you how?" Teddy cocked her head to one side, arching her brows quizzically at Arizona.

"Just keep an eye out for the manwhore for me," she asked, "And if you see him, text me, and then make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

"Hmm," Teddy contemplated, "A chance to make Mark squirm, yep I'm in."

"Yay," Arizona squealed raising her hand for a high five. Teddy obliged her slapping her palm against Arizona begrudgingly.

Teddy proved herself to be a worthy wing man for this mission texting Arizona approximately 90 minutes later. The text read:

_To: Captain Robbins_

_ Operation Manwhore underway_

_ 3rd Floor on call room_

_ Respond immediately_

_ From: Attachement Barbie_

Arizona immediately closed the chart she was working on hustling to the third floor. She found Teddy at the nurses station keeping an eagle eye on the door to the on call room

"Is our target still in sight?" she asked Teddy.

"Affirmative," Teddy replied

"Excellent work Teddy," Arizona saluted Teddy for her efforts, "Make sure no one comes in until I come out," she commanded.

"Yes Captain," Teddy replied saluting back to Arizona.

Arizona approached the on call room in stealth mode checking left and right to make sure there would be minimal chance of interruptions. When she was satisfied, she quietly opened the door. Now that she had her quarry cornered, she didn't want any interruptions before she had her fun with him so she locked the door behind her. She was confident that they would be left alone especially with Teddy to run interference. Her eyes zeroed in on Mark sleeping on the bed against the wall directly in front of her. She walked softly crossing the room leaving about three feet between Mark and herself effectively blocking any escape attempts Mark would try to make.

"Mark," she said firmly enough to wake the slumbering man. The man jumped off the bed immediately to his feet at the sound of his voice coming from the woman he has been hiding from all day. He looked wildly in all directions looking for a clear escape route, finding none, he sighed loudly realizing escape was futile.

"Mark," she said sternly, "You and I are going to have a little discussion man to man," she said gesturing between the two of them. Mark in an attempt to man up squared himself to Arizona replying with false bravado, "Let's do this thing, Blondie." Arizona raised her eyebrows in surprise crossing her arms over her chest, but didn't say anything to him. She was a pro at warfare knowing that silence to someone like Mark was deadly. She knew the man was stewing in his thoughts about what she was capable of doing to him. Mark tried staring her down but soon grew fidgety as music from the old time westerns filled his head indicating a show down was about to happen. Mark moved to his right, and Arizona mirrored his movements exactly like two gun fighters circling each other before the show down. Arizona was the first to pull the trigger.

"Your days of being fuck buddies with Callie are now over," she said advancing forward backing Mark up until he was against the wall, "If you _ever_ look at Callie, if you _ever _touch Callie, if you _ever_ try anything with Callie, if we are together or not," she punctuated the words you with pokes to Mark's chest, "You will never have to worry about getting your penis broken again because I will rip your penis off with my bare hands," she threatened causing Mark to cover his penis with his hands in terror. "Are we clear?" Arizona asked, when Mark didn't respond, she asked him again.  
"ARE WE CLEAR?" she demanded.

"Mm hmm," Mark squeaked like a frightened mouse.

"Good," she said backing down, "Now that the obligatory threats are out of the way, I'd also like to thank you. Mark cleared his throat before attempting to speak.

"Thank me?" he pondered confused.

"Yes," Arizona told him, "I need to thank you for picking Calliope up when I let her down, for never leaving her alone for her when I abandoned her, for loving her while I was too stupid to see what I had and will hopefully have again."

"You're welcome?" he responded as a question still not trusting Arizona's motives.

"No really, thank you Mark." she said as honestly as she could in order to make him understand, "I would say that I owe you but there is the whole you got the woman I love pregnant thing going on soo..."

"Yeah, about that," Mark interrupted, "What are you going to do about the situation."

"Honestly, Mark," she answered plopping wearily down on the couch, "The thing that I keep getting stuck on is where do I fit in with all of this?" she asked raising her hands in question. "You are the father, and Callie is the mother. What exactly does that make me?"

"Look," Mark said sitting down on the coffee table in front of Arizona, "Callie loves you. She wants you in her life and this baby's life. And you know they say it takes a village to raise a child. We haven't always seen eye to eye but I know you are a good person and this baby would be lucky to have you included in its life, so don't use me as an excuse as to why you can't be a part of it. You fit in wherever you want to fit in. The question Arizona is simple, do you want to fit in?" Mark finished looking at Arizona for an answer. Unable to answer him, she looked away. Mark stood up in front of her ready to leave.

"Callie has her first appointment with her OB/GYN today at 4:00," he informed her on the way to the door. He unlocked the door to leave, he looked down at the floor before saying in a voice that only Arizona could hear, "It takes a village, Arizona. Whatever you do, don't be the idiot."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Spoilers for 7:13, rating M, Could almost be PWP**

**I am burning the candle at both ends creatively because I am trying to write this story and complete some assignments for a photography class that I am taking so I found it really hard to write this chapter. Please let me know honestly what you think of it. I really appreciate the reviews because it motivates me and helps keep me accountable to all of you that have been reading this faithfully. Cheers.**

**Chapter 6: Uncharted Territory**

Arizona left the on-call room after her confrontation with Mark, desperately trying in vain to occupy the rest of her shift doing anything and everything she could not to think about Callie's pending appointment. Never before in her entire career had all her charts been up to date all at one time. After charting, Arizona completed another set of rounds checking in on all of the tiny humans that she cared so much for. She thought she had herself completely distracted from making the decision whether or not to go to the appointment but when she stopped just for a split second operating like a step-ford doctor, she realized it was time for Callie's appointment. Not only was it time for the appointment, she had meandered her way to the OB/GYN wing of the hospital. Apparently, her subconscious made the decision for her. Arizona checked what room Callie was in poking her head into the room to see Callie sitting on the exam table in a hospital gown with Mark presently by her side.

"Arizona," Callie said in surprise her eyes lighting up with unexpressed hope.

"Can I?" Arizona gestured with her hand asking permission to enter the room.

"Of course," Callie responded enthusiastically. Arizona stepped into the room walking over to stand by Callie's side standing just a little bit behind her though. Arizona caught Mark staring at her trying to decide how this was going to play out. Arizona locked eyes with Mark mouthing the words "Thank you," to him for helping her realize what a heel she was being.

"Nice of you to join us, Robbins," Mark said gruffly clearly uncomfortable with Arizona's gratitude. Deep down, Arizona knew that whatever happened between her and Callie, she would eventually come to regret not being there for Callie even it was only to support her as a friend. The awkward silence was broken when Callie's OB/GYN entered the room.

"Hello everyone," she said smiling brightly surveying the room full of doctor's.

"I might be miscarrying," Callie informed her doctor.

"You're not miscarrying," her doctor assured her.

"Well then it might be ectopic," she said listing off another catastrophe that she may or may not be experiencing.

"Could it be a blighted ovum?" Arizona questioned leaping on board Callie's paranoia train.

"It's not a molar pregnancy," Mark chimed in from the paranoia train as well.

"Wow," Callie's doctor commented sarcastically, "We got a lot of doctor's in the room."

"Who the hell are you and what are your credentials," Mark grilled like a drill sargent.

"Lucy Fields, Harvard MD, Duke OB/GYN resident, now maternal fetal medicine fellow at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital," she said listing off her impressive credentials, "Damn good at my job. Who the hell are you?" she said flipping the table back on Mark.

"We're uh, we're related to the, the," he stuttered pitifully before looking to Arizona for assistance.

"Oh, uh, uh," she stammered as well.

"Lesbian lover, baby daddy," Callie said cutting to the chase pointing over her shoulders at Arizona and Mark.

"Ahh and everybody's a little wigged out," she said knowingly as she maneuvered the ultrasound machine, "Okay so there is your baby. There's the yoke sack. It looks good."

"I'm bleeding," Callie said worriedly.

"That's not uncommon," she said authoritatively, "It happens in about 30% of all pregnancies. It's probably fine." she tried to reassure.

"I don't see ha heart beat, where's the heart beat?" Callie asked beginning to get frantic.

"Well it's probably too early for that. I'll do blood work, but I'm pretty sure everything is okay. Just take it easy for the next few days. Drink a lot of water, no tampons, no intercourse."

"Sing it," Arizona interjected looking at Mark for a little bit of sympathy.

"Call me if the bleeding gets worse or if there is pain," Lucy continued ignoring Arizona's comment, "Otherwise go live your life, all of you while you still can," she advised handing Callie a picture of the ultrasound. Mark grabbed it greedily out of Callie's hands. Arizona then grabbed it from his hands giving it back to Callie.

"Print your own off," she chastised.

"Thank you Arizona," she said gratefully to her while staring daggers at Mark for asserting his jerky side in the situation.

"You're welcome," she welcomed awkwardly, "Uh take care?" she said fleeing the room leaving Callie completely bewildered.

Arizona immediately went in search of some much needed clarity. She found Teddy at the nurses station on the cardio ward.

"I might be having Mark's baby," she whispered softly in Teddy's ears so the gossip whores that surrounded them in the guise of nurses didn't have any sort of fodder for the ever present gossip mill that ran rampant throughout the hospital.

"Damn, that man is good if he got to you too," Teddy said almost in awe of Mark's prowess in the bedroom.

"Eww," Arizona said punching her friend in the arm, "I'll have you know that this girl is a gold star lesbian," she said proudly.

"Goodie for you," Teddy replied confused as to whether or not she should congratulate her friend for that or not, "Mark's baby?" she asked focusing Arizona on why she wanted to talk to her in the first place.

"Ohh yeah, Mark got Callie pregnant. It was while I was in Africa," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand at the skeptical look she was getting from her friend.

"I don't know what to do, Teddy," she admitted resigned, "I need someone to tell me what to do," she looked expectantly at Teddy.

"Oh," Teddy said realizing Arizona meant her. Teddy pondered Arizona's plight carefully before responding.

"Yeah, I got nothing," Teddy confessed. Arizona stuck her tongue out childishly at her friend.

"Mature," Teddy said sarcastically walking away. Arizona headed down to the OR for a routine appendectomy on a seven year old girl who actually reminded her a lot of Ruby so she was going to take extra special care to make sure this surgery went off without a hitch. She was scrubbing out of surgery when she received a page from Callie's doctor. She grabbed a hand towel on the way out to dry her hands off. Arizona walked quickly to the OB/GYN ward entering Callie's room, she observed Callie was still sitting on the table, dressed in the same gown as if she had never moved.

"Is she okay," she asked the doctor concerned.

"Yup," Lucy answered clipped.

"Maybe," Callie countered.

"I said yup. Yup is not maybe, it's yup," Lucy replied clearly frustrated.

"She paged us," Mark asked trying to diffuse the tension between the two women in order to get to the bottom of what was going on.

"I paged you. Callie hasn't left the exam room since you were last here two hours ago," she informed Mark and Arizona.

"Well what if it is a molar pregnancy or fetal demise, or an infection," Callie said listing off a litany of things that could be going wrong.

"What if it is a perfectly healthy pregnancy," she countered then turning to Mark and Arizona, "She doesn't want to seem to want to leave the exam room until we rule out _everything_," she said looking for back up from the other two doctor's.

"Callie," Arizona said trying to be reasonable.

"I'm bleeding," Callie yelled, "I don't want to take any chances with this baby.  
"What if we run a culture," Mark interjected, "Just in case. Can't hurt right?"

"Good idea?" Arizona asked looking for Callie's approval.

"Sure, can't hurt but you know what," she said standing up abruptly, "I've got something better than a culture," she said leaving the room in a flash and leaving the people in the room completely puzzled. She returned moments later toting a high resolution ultrasound machine. She looked at Callie smiling brightly.

"I heard that you are extremely hard core, Dr. Torres, so I brought in the hard core machine just for you," she informed Callie sitting down on her stool in front of Callie, "Now it is almost impossible to find a heart beat until the eighth week even with this thing," she gently warned, "In fact, I don't even have mom's come in 'til the eighth week because they come in, they don't see a heart beat, and they freak out and camp out on my exam table all day. But since you already camped out here all day, can't hurt to have another look, right?" she commented more as a distraction for Callie as she manipulated the probe around searching for the heart beat.

"Nothing," Callie said hopelessly.

"Just give me a minute," Lucy replied buying time. Callie sighed in frustration.

"This was a bad idea," Callie said to no one in particular.

"Callie," Arizona tried to be supportive.

"This is stupid, she said it is too early, she can't find it yet. It doesn't mean a dead baby, it just means it's really stupid," the pregnancy hormones surging crazily through Callie.

"Sshh," Mark admonished.

"There," Lucy cried triumphantly. Arizona gasped at the realization that Callie had a precious and innocent life growing inside of it. It never ceased to amaze her but it was especially poignant when the soon to be mother was the love of her life.

"Omigod," Callie said interrupting her reverie smiling so brightly it looked as if her face might break. Arizona clutched Callie's should squeezing gently in agreement to Callie's wonder.

"So are we good now?" Lucy asked happily catching the feel good buzz permeating throughout the room, "Cause my shift ended an hour ago, and I'd really like to go home now," she joked removing the ultrasound from Callie.

"We're good," Callie answered, "Thank you so much Dr. Fields," Callie said standing up to envelope her doctor in a warm, grateful hug. Callie looked around the room, first at Arizona then at Mark.

"A heart beat," she said triumphantly attempting to let it sink in.

"That's awesome, Calliope," Arizona said in camaraderie, "I should get back to work. I have to do my post opes on my appendectomy kid," she said to Callie and Mark.

"I will see you at home, right?" Callie posited uncertainly.

"Of course, it is where I live," Arizona replied before leaving the room.

Arizona did go back to work for a short amount of time, but after completing just the necessities that her work demanded of her, she left. There was some errands she wanted to complete before returning home. When she made it home, she found Callie relaxing on the couch reading.

"Hey," she said congenially toting in a bunch of bags from the grocery store,"I got this, don't' get up," she told Callie in case Callie decided to get up to help her.

"Arizona," Callie questioned suspiciously, "What have you done?"

"Ohh," she groaned setting down a particularly heavy bag, "I went to the grocery store so you wouldn't have to."

"I told you that I was going to do it, Arizona," Callie said irritation clearly mounting in her tone of voice.

"I know," Arizona said brightly trying to pacify the hormone ridden woman, "And I also went to Border's books and got you this," she said reaching into a different bag handing Callie a book.

"What To Expect When You Are Expecting," Callie read the title out loud a little insulted that Arizona would get her a book like that, "You got me What To Expect When You Are Expecting?"

"Yeah, I know we are doctor's and all that but there are a lot of stories in there from women going through some of the same things you are," she explained, "And I just thought it might help you to feel less..."

"Crazy, paranoid," Callie supplied for her.

"Not sure there is a right answer there," Arizona said hesitantly, "But you get the picture."

"Arizona," Callie said getting up from the couch to place a kiss on Arizona's cheek, "That was really sweet of you. Thank you." she said before sitting back down on the couch opening the book Arizona bought for her.

"Did you leave Border's without maxing out your credit card this time," Callie teased Arizona knowing how much the other woman loved buying and reading books. Arizona looked out from the kitchen where she was putting away the groceries.

"Not this time," she answered sheepishly, "Although I did buy one other book," she told Callie but Callie was engrossed in the book Arizona bought for her, so she continued putting away the groceries. When she was finished, she went into the room she was occupying. She came out of the room with her arms full of clothing. She passed Callie reading on the couch transporting her clothes to the room Callie was occupying. Their old room. When Arizona appeared from out of her room, Callie took notice.

"Umm," she said puzzled as to why Arizona was in her room, "What are you doing now?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she answered going back into her room for another load.

"It looks like you are moving all of your stuff into my room," she said getting up again.

"Don't get up," Arizona brushed Callie off, "You shouldn't be doing anything too strenuous. I got this."

"No, I'll get up if I want to," Callie said assertively, "Are you moving back into my room cause.."

"Calliope," Arizona attempted.

"Don't Calliope me Arizona," Callie said starting up her rant, "You can't just make decisions about our relationship without consulting me. What if I am not ready for you to move back into my room, what if I am not ready for us to be a couple again. There are two people in this relationship, Arizona." Arizona listened to Callie's tirade for a good while before she had enough.

"Shut up, just shut up," Arizona said raising her voice, "I'm moving back into _our_ room, and we are going to be together because I love you and you love me and none of the rest of it matters. We are together," she emphasized.

"And if you ever sleep with anyone else again man or woman, I will kick the crap out of you," she warned, "Now sit your ass back down there because that's my baby in there and I don't want anything happening to my baby," she ordered. Callie smiled upon hearing Arizona refer to the baby as hers for the very first time. It made her heart swell with emotion.

"Your baby," she said challengingly in a husky voice. Arizona looked down unsure that she may have said the wrong thing.

"Our baby," she clarified for Callie earning her a chuckle from Callie.

"There was a heart beat," Arizona said clearly in awe.

"Mmm hmm," Callie agreed nodding her head.

"And it was..." Arizona paused at a loss for one single word that could capture the feeling hearing the baby's heart beat produced within her taking a step towards Callie reaching out her right hand placing it on her belly. Callie looks briefly at Arizona's hand on her stomach then back up at Arizona.

"We're having a baby," Arizona says closing the distance between the two of them using her left hand to cup Callie's face in her hand as she moves in for a kiss.

"Do I still have to sit down, because I'd rather rip your clothes off," Callie asks in between kisses. Arizona chuckles against Callie's lips before answering.

"I'll do the ripping," Arizona replied confidently eliciting a throaty moan from Callie, "You rest," she tells her. Arizona continued peppering Callie's moth with kisses ranging from butterfly light pecks to deep, penetrating kiss as she hurriedly, yet carefully maneuvered Callie towards the bedroom. Once she had Callie backed against the bed, Arizona tore herself away from Callie's luscious lips searching Callie's body from head to toe deciding where she wanted to commence the ripping. Settling for Callie's shirt, she grasped the material in her fists at the V in Callie's neck jerking the material outwards in one smooth motion severing it cleanly in having leaving it hanging limply from Callie's frame. Callie gasped in surprise.

"You were serious about the ripping," she commented.

"Very," Arizona replied huskily, "If you don't want the rest of your clothing destroyed, I'd suggest you take it off, now," she stressed. Callie felt moisture pooling between her legs at Arizona's take charge tone of voice. Callie quickly shed the rest of her clothing standing before Arizona trembling with rising need. Arizona simply feasted her eyes on Callie's naked form looking at her as if she were a piece of meat that was about to be devoured. Arizona began her visual exploration by penetrating Callie's dark brown eyes with her own piercing blues making her intent known to Callie without saying one single, solitary word. Once she had Callie spellbound, she continued her visual trek moving her eyes down until they rested on Callie's voluptuou8s breasts. Arizona noted the flush of arousal spreading across Callie's' chest causing her nipples to harden into taut nubs. Arizona licked her lips slowly in anticipation of the lavish attention she planned to heap upon those nipples. Callie watched in awe as Arizona's hot, pink tongue darted out her her mouth in response to the sight of Callie's breasts. Callie began imagining all the things Arizona might do to them causing her heart to pound erratically beneath her chest. Arizona noted the pulse point in Callie's neck beating prominently beneath her smooth, tan skin. She smiled inwardly at the effect she was having on the beautiful woman standing before her before continuing her visual journey to the flat expanse of Callie's stomach. Callie's stomach muscles twitched involuntarily as Arizona's eyes got close to their final destination. Arizona's eyes finally found their way to Callie's heated core. Arizona's eyes narrowed in desire as she bit her bottom lip to stifle the moan of appreciation upon seeing Callie's sex. Callie fidgeted anxiously shifting from one foot to the next sighing impatiently wanting desperately for Arizona to put her out of her misery.

"Is something wrong, Callie?" Arizona asked coyly wanting to draw out the tease for as long as she possibly could.

"You're looking at me," Callie replied stating the obvious.

"And," Arizona retorted.

"You're looking at me," she stated again. Seeing Arizona still didn't grasp what she was saying, she clarified, "It's almost like you are touching me." Arizona took a step closer to Callie so that there was barely an inch departing the two of them.

"Why wouldn't I want to look at you?" she asked in a desire laden voice, "I'm going to keep looking at you until I have my fill. Now turn around, please," she asked sweetly.

"Arizona, please," Callie begged.

"Please what," Arizona asked.

"Uh touch me," she whined petulantly.

"Turn around, Calliope," she reiterated more forcefully meaning business. Callie sighed in frustration reluctantly turning her back to Arizona. Arizona took the opportunity to give Callie what she asked for in the form of a gentle swat to Callie's supple rear end. Callie gasped in shock at Arizona's adventurousness her knees buckling slightly as the reverberations for the slap vibrated within her. Callie bent at the waist bracing herself on her hands looking over her shoulder at Arizona questioningly.

"What," Arizona defended, "You said you wanted me to touch you." Callie attempted to stand upright but Arizona halted her actions with a hand to the small of her back.

"Omigod, Callie," she said in awe, "Stay like that for a moment please," she asked the other woman. Callie remained bent over bracing herself on the bed show casing her delicious ass. Arizona leaned into Callie joining her front to Callie's ass. Callie pushed her ass back into Arizona's center teasing the blond woman right back. Arizona traced the curve of Callie's spine with her index finger starting with the base of her skull sensually dragging it down to Callie's sensitive ass. She turned her hands over to cup Callie's ass in them. She kneaded lightly using her nails to scrape against the flesh causing Callie to take a sharp intake of breath which she let out in a hiss of appreciation.

"Lay down on your stomach," Arizona commanded quietly. Callie did as she was told expecting Arizona to join her on the bed. She was disappointed when she didn't. Hearing shuffling movement, Callie tried turning to see what Arizona was doing.

"Curiosity killed the cat, Calliope," Arizona chastised seriously.

"Please, please put me out of my misery," Callie joked playfully.

"Don't worry," Arizona reassured Callie finally joining her on the bed leaning over Callie so that her nipples grazed the tender skin of Callie's back. She rubbed her sensitive nipples up and down Callie's back intermittently placing scorching kisses up and down her back as well. Callie writhed underneath her in the exquisiteness of Arizona's tease. Arizona rain her hand over Callie's ass, down her leg, and back up again.

"Spread your legs for me Callie," Arizona implored in a sultry tone of voice.

"Omigod, finally," Callie mumbled against the pillow spreading her legs wide to give her lover full access. Arizona slipped her fingers into Callie's sodden abyss stroking up one side down the other pausing at her drenched opening.

"You're so wet, Callie," Arizona said closing her yes in pleasure of the feeling of Callie's arousal on her fingers.

"I want you, baby," Callie said gripping the covers on the bed so tightly in her fists causing her knuckles to turn white. She pushed back against Arizona's fingers encouraging her to penetrate. With half of her body pressed into Callie's back, she slopped two fingers into Callie biting the skin of Callie's shoulder as she did so causing Callie to shiver uncontrollably. She pushed against Arizona's hand countering Arizona's thrusts encouraging more.

"You like being fucked like this baby," Arizona breathed hotly against Callie's ear. Callie loved when dirty Arizona came out to play contrasting sharply with the perky, happy Arizona that most people saw on a daily basis. It was like finding out your Sunday school teacher or librarian led a secret life as a dominatrix.

"Yeah, I like it," she panted grinding against Arizona's hand. "Give me more," she challenged trusting Arizona to know just how much she could take in her current predicament being careful enough to not injure the growing baby while still giving her what she needed. However, the current position they were in wasn't conducive for the deeper penetration that Callie currently craved.

"Turn over," Arizona instructed removing her fingers from Callie. Callie rolled over quickly pulling Arizona down on top of her capturing her mouth against her own. Arizona situated herself so that she was straddling one of Callie's strong thighs rubbing herself against it in time with the thrust of her fingers. Arizona used her thumb to rub against Callie's swollen clit as she thrust deeply in and out of Callie. The erratic movement of Callie's hips as well as the increased moisture build up told Arizona that Callie was close to reaching the point of no return.

"You're going to come soon, Callie," she said looking down at Callie's face that was tense with pleasure. "I can feel it," she said nipping at Callie's bottom lip with her teeth. Callie opened up her eyes to find Arizona watching her.

"Make me me come, Arizona," Callie pled softly sucking Arizona's tongue into her hot mouth. Arizona increased the pressure against Callie's nub, adding slow, sensual circles as she continued thrusting deeply into Callie's wet pussy. Arizona could not help it as her hips found a life of their own grounding herself wantonly against Callie's leg. Surprisingly, she was so close to orgasm herself that she was afraid she would come before Callie.

"Come for me, Calliope," Arizona encouraged. For some reason, hearing Arizona give her permission sent her over the edge causing her to give as good as she was getting as her orgasm slammed throughput her body beginning with exquisite shivers in her knees traveling with purpose like a bomb hurtling towards it target exploding when it reached her clit. Callie came so hard, she saw stars behind her closed eyelids. Arizona matched Callie's wild movements with one of her own muffling her own outcry out pleasure into the crook of Callie's neck. When the spasms began to subside, Arizona gently extricated her fingers from Callie. She raised her head to look at Callie so that their noses were touching.

"I love you, Calliope," she said rubbing her nose tenderly against Callie's

"I love you, too Arizona," Callie responded sincerely tightening her arms around Arizona's waist. Both woman basked in the shared intimacy for a blissful moment. Callie was the first to break them out of the after glow.

"Did you," she began hesitantly, "Did you come already?" she asked. Arizona hid her head in Callie's neck her face turning bright red with embarrassment.

"Yes," she muttered pitifully against Callie's neck.

"Without me even touching you?" she clarified.

"Yes," Arizona admitted.

"Hmm," Callie said a little smugly pondering the situation, "That's hot," she commented off-handed.

"Hot?" Arizona questioned raising her head to see if Callie was being serious.

"Mm hmm," Callie affirmed, "Hot," she reiterated.

"You know what I think," Arizona said getting her swagger back.

"What do you think," Callie responded right back.

"I think it is a damn shame that I had an orgasm without so much as even a stroke or caress from you," she said cockily.

"Oh you do, huh?" Callie responded sensing a challenge in Arizona's words.

"I do," Arizona confirmed.

"Well, let me see what I can to to rectify the situation," she said sitting up so that her back rested against the head board maneuvering Arizona so that she was sitting across Callie's lap with her knees bent resting against Callie's waist. Callie tilted her face up towards Arizona attempting to kiss the other woman but at the last moment, Arizona pulled away so Callie cupped Arizona's jaw firmly in her hand effectively trapping the other woman crushing her mouth into Arizona's thoroughly exploring her mouth with her lips and tongue. While she was kissing Arizona, she reached in front of her cupping her firm breasts within her palms. She kneaded and caressed Arizona's breasts causing Arizona to dig her fingers into Callie's shoulder. Callie focused her ministrations on Arizona's responsive nipples rolling them both between her thumb and index finger. While she was manipulating Arizona's nipples she placed wet kisses along Arizona's jaw nipping and sucking her way up to Arizona's graceful neck. She bathed Arizona' ear with attention swirling her tongue around the lobe before completely sucking it into her hot mouth causing Arizona to arch her back pushing her breasts more firmly into Callie's hands. Callie knew she was driving the other woman wild because she could feel the heat of Arizona against her lap.

"This time when you come," she whispered heatedly against Arizona's ear, "There will be no complaints about me not touching you 'cause I am going to make sure I touch you all over." Callie wanted to use her moth to focus some more attention to Arizona's breasts. Callie grasped Arizona's hips urging her to raise upwards so that she was straddling Callie's lap on her knees. This position brought Arizona's breasts right in line with Callie's awaiting mouth. Wasting no time, Callie immediately went to work ravishing Arizona's nipples with her mouth and tongue. Arizona grabbed fistfuls of Callie's hair pressing her face into her breasts spurring Callie on. Callie reached around Arizona's back to pay homage to Arizona's fine ass kneading and molding. Callie rested her left hand at the small of Arizona's back snaking her right hand around to Arizona's wet heat. She released the nipple she was sucking on with a loud pop causing Arizona to gasp at the loss of sensation. Callie looked up wickedly as she slid a finger into Arizona's liquid center generously coating her fingers with Arizona's wetness. She removed her finger causing Arizona to whimper in disappointment. She brought her fingers up to Arizona's mouth offering her a taste of herself which Arizona readily accepted sucking on Callie's fingers greedily.

"Mm, baby," Callie said in a sultry voice, "Now that is hot." Arizona smiled shrugging her shoulders as if to say, 'I know." Callie took possession of her fingers placing them back at Arizona's entrance pausing.

"I want you baby," Callie told Arizona.

"Take me then," Arizona told her pushing herself against Callie's fingers as an invitation. Callie slid two fingers inside Arizona's hot core simultaneously capturing Arizona's mouth with her own tasting Arizona in the kiss. Arizona countered Callie's thrust with one of her own grabbing hold of the head board for added leverage. Encouraged by Arizona's actions, Callie increased the tempo of her fingers curling them on the way out to rub against Arizona's sensitive spot and them pushing in do deep that her palm bumped against Arizona's other sweet spot. Arizona's hips took on a life of their own, and she was mumbling incoherently in response to Callie's delicious change of pace. Callie could feel Arizona's wall clenching around her fingers and Arizona's body was trembling out of control as she was fast approaching the edge of oblivion. Callie slowed down the movements of her fingers concentrating more on making slow languid circles around Arizona's swollen clit. Callie look up at Arizona focusing on how beautiful her face looked. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain. Arizona always could sense when Callie's attention was centered on her so she opened her eyes meeting Callie's hot gaze with one of her own.

"I'm going to come so hard, Calliope," she said hotly never breaking eye contact.

"Good," Callie told her looking right back. Arizona took Callie's face in her hands kissing her wildly never closing her eyes as she approached her crescendo. At the last minute possible, Arizona threw her head back letting out a throaty moan as a second, extremely intense orgasm stole through her body. She held onto Callie for dear life as miniature orgasms rippled throughout her body. The pleasure was so intense that it brought tears to her eyes. The sudden influx of tears brought up all the intense feelings Arizona had been trying to keep at bay these last couple of days causing her to begin to sob uncontrollably into the crook of Callie's neck. Aware that Arizona was experiencing some overwhelming emotions, Callie slowly removed her fingers from Arizona bringing her arms to Arizona's back holding the emotional woman tightly against her making low sounds in the back of her throat while rubbing soothing circles on Arizona's back. In all honesty, Callie had never really seen Arizona like this before, and didn't know what else to do. Callie gave the other woman the respect and time she deserved in order to compose herself. When the sobs subsided to the occasional sniffle, Callie loosened her grip on Arizona indicating it was time to talk.

"Hey, hey," Callie spoke softly, "What's wrong, baby?" she asked compassionately. Arizona looked up with fresh tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

"Do you think we could lay down," she asked uncertainly. Callie realized that Arizona was still having a hard time trusting Callie enough to be vulnerable so she agreed because she knew not having to look at each other would make things easier for Arizona.

"Of course we can, Arizona," Callie assured. Arizona extricated herself from Callie's lap laying on her side of the bed intently staring at the ceiling. Callie scooted down to lay next to Arizona on her side of the bed. She grabbed Arizona's arm tugging her over so that Arizona lay in her arms with her head resting on Callie's breast. Arizona listened to the repetition of Callie's strong heart beat allowing it to wash over her with a sense of peace.

"I-I-I'm terrified," Arizona croaked out sounding like a little girl.

"Of what Arizona," Callie questioned sincerely wanting to know.

"I've never really told you anything about my brother other than he was killed in Iraq, have I?" Arizona commented. Callie ran her hands through Arizona's hair in a gesture meant to be soothing as well as encouraging.

"No, you never have," Callie responded, "But I would really like to hear more about him, if you don't mind," Callie told the other woman.

"It's kind of a long story," Arizona said evasively.

"I'm not going anywhere," Callie answered.

"Well, my brother was five years older than me," Arizona tentatively began her story, "so he was the only child in the family for five years which meant he got everyone's undivided attention. That is until I came along stealing his much coveted spotlight. So, naturally I became public enemy number one. He made it his mission to make my life miserable hiding my favorite toys, pulling off the heads of my dolls, putting gum in my hair resulting in the disastrous bowl cut of 1984. Not a pretty sight," Arizona shuddered at the memory.

"I doubt that a little Arizona was ever anything but adorable," Callie admonished.

"Ohh, trust me, it was awful," she punctuated the word awful, "Anyway you get the picture right?" Callie nodded slightly murmuring affirmatively against Arizona's head.

"Well, one day I came home from school in tears," Arizona continued, "Because Jimmy Mason the fifth grade bully pulled my pants down during recess goosing me in front of the entire school."

"What a jerk," Callie commiserated.

"When Adam came home and found me crying, he hunted Jimmy Mason down giving him a black eye for what he did. Not only that, the next day at recess, my brother made Jimmy pull down his pants and streak across the playground," she laughed at the memory before continuing, "He got two weeks detention and an ass whipping to remember from my father. But he did it for me, because I was his sister. And he was taught to protect the things that he loved. He still continued to torment me, but it was then I realized he was doing it out of love. It bonded us in a way neither one of us could've predicted. He was always my protector, and best friend after that and I worshiped him.

"He sounds like a great big brother," Callie said softly.

"He was Callie," Arizona said emphatically, "When I realized I was gay, it was a bit of a struggle for me because I was terrified of losing my family. It got a little dark and twisty. When I finally told Adam, he took my hands in his and said, 'Is that all,' like it was really no big deal to him at all. Then he told me that he could live with me being gay but he couldn't live in a world without me in it."

"Wow," Callie said at a loss for words.

"He gave me the courage to face my family," Arizona rambled on, "Turns out everyone already knew, Cindy Crawford poster and all. They were just waiting form me to find my way. My brother was always my guide. And then he was torn from my life by a senseless war," Arizona vented angrily.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Callie said tightening her arms around Arizona in sympathy.

"I was so lost without Adam," Arizona choked out overcome with emotions, "He said he could never live in a world without me in it, how the hell did he expect me to live in one without him?" she asked not really expecting an answer.

"I walked around empty," she painfully reminisced, "There were times I wished I was dead too. But instead, instead I threw myself into college, then med school until the pain of missing my brother no longer made me want to die."

"Oh Arizona," Callie sighed.

"I made it all the way through my life existing as a ghost avoiding any real relationships because I was afraid of loving, afraid of losing. No one was able to penetrate the fortress I built around my heart. Some tried but most gave up out of frustration."

"Their loss," Callie commented off-handedly.

"Thank you," Arizona said smiling against Callie's breast, "That's is how my life was for awhile. And then one day, I saw you in the pit. You were talking to this old lady who had fallen down or something. You flashed her your brilliant smile, and I was blinded by your radiance. Corny, huh?"

"No, not all all," Callie chastised playfully poking Arizona in the ribs, "I love me some corny Arizona," she teased.

"Laugh all you want," Arizona said indignantly, "But it is true. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. It was like being slammed in the gut with a sledgehammer. Suddenly, I had to know you. Seeing you made me want, made me feel," she stressed fiercely.

"So you decided the best way to meet me was by ambushing me in the bathroom at Joe's," Callie asked wryly.

"There were sharks circling the water waiting for you to get back in the game," Arizona informed, "I had to make an impression."

"But then you turned me down calling me a new born," she said perplexed.

"Because you scared me to death," she said obviously, "But I fought the fear, and things were good for awhile until the baby issue came up."

"Let me guess, you were scared?" Callie asked.

"Yup," Arizona confirmed, "How could I not be when you made me feel things I had successfully avoided for years?"

"Pretty daunting," Callie interjected.

"Riiggghhht," Arizona said drawing out the word, "So we had to break up."

"And you ambushed me again on the elevator," Callie recounted the steamy kiss in the elevator.

"I really, really missed you," she said unapologetically.

"Then Mr. Clark," Callie said her tone ominous. Arizona rose up on her elbow to face Callie before she continued the story.

"When you put yourself between me and Mr. Clark, you reminded me so much of my brother because you were protecting the person you love," Arizona grabbed Callie's hand bringing it up to her mouth to place a loving kiss on Callie's knuckles before resuming her story, "If Mr. Clark hadn't come into the hospital, I don't know if I ever would have come to my senses."

"Temporary sanity," Callie quipped sarcastically as remnants of pain surfaced unexpectedly.

"You were willing to give you your job, your friends, your everything," Arizona said exasperated, "That's pretty darn terrifying for someone like me," she said trying to help Callie see her point of view.

"But you lost me," Callie said hurt evident in her tone.

"I lost you on my terms," Arizona told Callie, "Type A control freak, remember?" she tried to lighten the situation a little bit.

"I'm not likely to forget," Callie mumbled.

"Callie," Arizona said her name in such a way that Callie knew Arizona was about to tell her something monumental making her pay close attention, "When I got to Africa, I was so lost. Just like after I lost my brother, only worse. I figured I'd push through it like I did last time by throwing myself into the medicine. I realized I could live without you in my life. My heart would still beat but after experiencing the Calliope effect, merely existing will _never_ be an option for me ever again."

"What are you saying?" Callie asked rising up to a sitting position in the bed looking down at Arizona propped up on her left arm.

"I'm saying," Arizona said rising to a sitting position facing Arizona their knees touching, "I'm saying I finally know what's it is like to feel love, and be loved, and I never want to go back..." she hesitated nervously.

"I'm sensing a but," Callie commented uncomfortably.

"But, I am still terrified," Arizona told her uncertainly. Callie sighed in frustration racking her brains for ways to help Arizona overcome whatever it was that was still scaring her.

"There is always gonna be things that scare me, Callie," Arizona said brushing an errant curl out of Callie's eyes, "This baby situation, prettyyy scary," she chuckled.

"Ya think?" Callie grinned back at Arizona. Arizona nodded her head vigorously.

"But you know what?" Arizona said seriously, "I realize now that Adam saw me struggling without my guide, and he sent you to me so that you could help me find my way in this crazy, messed up, wonderful world. So I am going to trust in _you_, and have faith in _you,_" she hesitated looking deep into Callie's eyes that were brimming with tears.

"So wherever you go, I will follow," she said wiping the tears off Callie's cheeks with her thumbs bringing her mouth to Callie's for a soft kiss, "Always," she breathed against the other woman's lips. Callie drew back, looking seriously into Arizona's eyes, "I will do my best to never lead you astray."

"I have absolutely no doubts about that," she responded with conviction, "And I want you to have complete trust and total faith in me as well so I need you to ask me again."

"Ask you what," Callie said cocking her head to one side raising her eye brows questioningly.

"Ask me what you asked me this morning before I went to work," Arizona tried to hint without giving away the question she wanted Callie to re-ask her.

"Oh," Callie said finally catching on. She straightened her back putting her totally serious hat back on, "Arizona I am going to have a baby in about seven months, and I would really, _really_ like for you to be a part of it, so I need to know are you in?"

"Yes Callie I am totally and whole heartedly in," Arizona replied dead serious.

"Good," Callie said pulling Arizona back down to a laying position holding her tightly in her embrace, "And since I am the tour guide in this uncharted territory, I think it is best if I lead us into the land of slumber," Callie yawned.

"I'm right behind you baby," Arizona responded snuggling down into the covers falling asleep with a smile on her face.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry it took so long to update. I read through the story again and noticed a continuity error in chapters 5 and 6. Sorry about that. Can't blame mistakes on anyone but myself. I hope you enjoy this bit of fluff and cliff hanger. Don't think there are any spoilers...but just in case, you are warned? Reviews would be greatly appreciated.**

**Knowing Is Half the Battle?**

Days passed quickly into weeks finding the unlikely trio falling into an easy routine. Arizona and Mark usually took it upon themselves to feed Callie's growing appetite. While one put together dinner, the other was responsible for pampering Callie with foot or shoulder rubs. Mark and Arizona eventually developed an unusual camaraderie that at times could by disconcerting for Callie. Arizona was cleaning up the remnants of their latest dinner while Mark finished Callie's shoulder rub. He got up off the couch to wash the lotion off of his hands.

"Hey," he said nonchalantly to Arizona, "Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"What?" Callie asked them both, "What's going on tomorrow?" she questioned earning Mark a punch in the arm from Arizona for letting the cat out of the bag.

"Uh, uh," he stammered uncertainly.

"Furniture shopping," Arizona supplied for him staring him down hard in his eyes silently willing him to catch on.

"Right," Mark agreed thankfully catching on, "Furniture shopping."

"Well, why are you taking her instead of me?" she asked slightly offended. Mark looked everywhere but at Callie not sure how to answer the hormone riddled woman carrying his love child.

"Callie," Arizona stated in an effort to placate Callie, "I work with kids, and he just figured I would know how to decorate a baby's room," she said causing Callie's eyes to narrow defensively.

"Hey, I can decorate too," she whined.

"Yeah, you can decorate a dungeon," Mark replied sarcastically.

"Hey," Arizona said leaping to Callie's defense punching him in his arm again, "She's modern and edgy."

"Thank you Arizona," Callie said getting up off the couch leaning over to give her girlfriend a quick peck on the cheek.

"You two have fun tomorrow. I'm going to take a shower." Mark waited until Callie was well out of hearing range before commenting.

"Whew, that was close," he sighed in relief.

"Yeah, you almost blew it Mark," Arizona said sternly, "I would've never asked you to come ring shopping with me if I knew you were such a girl at keeping a secret," she chided lightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said raising his hands in apology, "Can I still be your wing-man though?" he asked excitedly like a child on Christmas morning.

"Yeah," Arizona said throwing a dish towel at him in jest.

"Sweet," Mark said happily, "This is going to be great!"

"Good night Mark," Arizona said loudly trying to give Mark a subtle hint that it was time to leave.

"Oh," he said taking his cue to leave, "See you tomorrow!" Arizona finished up the rest of the dishes before joining Callie in their bathroom. She walked up behind Callie standing at the sink wrapping her arms around Callie's waist placing a kiss into the crook of her neck.

"Hey baby," she said softly, "You tired?" she asked noting the fatigue evident on Callie's face.

"A little," Callie reluctantly admitted meeting Arizona's eyes in the mirror.

"Well I for one and exhausted and I'm not even the one that is pregnant," Arizona commented, "What do you say to meeting me in bed once I'm done in here," she said indicating the bathroom, "Then we can snuggle up together and watch the Jersey Shore." Callie turned into Arizona's arms fully embracing her while resting her head on the shorter woman's shoulder.

"I'm never going to pass up the chance to have you hold me in your arms," she said tightening her arms around Arizona's waist.

"It's a date then," Arizona replied happily before extricating herself from Callie's hug attempting to shoo her out of the bathroom

"Go warm up my bed woman," she said playfully swatting Callie's retreating behind. Approximately 15 minutes later Arizona emerged from the bathroom with her teeth brush and face freshly scrubbed to discover Callie already soundly asleep propped up against the head board on her pillow with the remote in her hand. She crossed the room to Callie's side of the bed.

"Ahh, she sleeps," she said softly referencing a line out of one of her favorite movies before gently prying the remote out of Callie's hand to turn off the TV. Arizona slid delicately into bed so she didn't disturb the slumbering woman. Leaning on her left arm, she placed a sweet kiss on Callie's forehead whispering, "I love you," softly before using her free hand to stroke the burgeoning baby bump beneath the bedspread.

"And I love you too," she said in a hushed voice filled with awe before rolling over to switch off the light joining Callie in the land of dreams.

Arizona slept fitfully through the night waking up a few minutes before her alarm was scheduled to go off. She turned it off so it wouldn't wake Callie and went to take a shower. Callie woke up to the sound of running water realizing that Arizona was already up. She started thinking about Arizona in the shower naked and wet. She started feeling wet and suddenly wanted to be naked. She got up to go meet Arizona in the shower discarding her night clothes along the way. She crept silently into the bathroom opening the door to the shower while Arizona was rinsing the soap off of her face. Callie pressed herself against Arizona from behind snaking her arms around Arizona's trim waist planting light kisses along the slope of Arizona's shoulders and elegant neck.

"Better make this quick," Arizona conspired, "I wouldn't want my girlfriend to wake up and find you in here," she joked causing Callie to chuckle against Arizona's shoulder.

"Good morning, Calliope," Arizona said in greeting, "What are you doing up so early?"

"Well," Callie said sliding her hands from Arizona's waist up her sides skimming her hands over Arizona's soapy breasts, "I heard the water running and got to thinking about you being in here all wet and naked,"

"Mmm hmm," Arizona's said catching Callie's drift pushing her backside into Callie's crotch, "And," she drawled flirtatiously.

"And I found myself getting really wet for you," Callie admitted shamelessly knowing how hard it was for Arizona to resist her when she took initiative particularly in the form of dirty talk.

"W-w-what?" she stuttered her knees buckling slightly at the mention of Callie being wet.

"Wet," Callie reiterated running her hands over Arizona's soapy breasts cupping them in her hands.

"Callie, Mark is going to be here any minute," she feebly protested.

"So," Callie answered blistering Arizona's shoulders with nips of her teeth causing Arizona to arch her back, "He can wait."

"But I hate being late," she contested lamely all the while she resolve was slipping as Callie's hands skillfully manipulated her breasts increasing her budding arousal.

"I don't think you want me to stop," Callie commented arrogantly before sliding her hand slowly down Arizona's sudsy stomach to cup her mound, "In fact, I bet if I were to touch you, you'd be soaking wet begging for my touch." Arizona attempted to regain some control over the situation by turning around to face Callie but Callie wasn't having it.

"No Arizona," she said sternly taking Arizona's hands placing them flat against the glass of the sower, "We're going to do this _my_ way. You got it?"

"Arizona," she said pinching a nipple slightly, "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Arizona hissed through her teeth more in response to the rough treatment of her nipple that toed the line between pleasure and pain. Callie showed her approval to Arizona's response by parting Arizona's slick folds with two fingers. Arizona clenched her hands into tight fists against the wall of the shower at having Callie so close to being where she really wanted her. She didn't have to wait much longer as Callie slid her fingers into her wetness moving them in and out at a moderate pace. Arizona ground herself wantonly against Callie's fingers throwing her head back against Callie's shoulders as her pleasure filled moans echoed loudly throughout the restroom. One disadvantage of the position Callie had Arizona in was that she couldn't penetrate Arizona as deeply as she would've like to. But she was able to press the pad of her thumb against Arizona's pulsing clit as she pressed her fingers into Arizona and she was able to provide simultaneous stimulation to Arizona's pert breasts while in this position. She briefly considered switching positions but in the end, she decided the pro's outweighed the con's keeping things the way that they were. The carnal attention Arizona was receiving from Callie had her writhing in ecstasy aching for release. Callie glanced up at Arizona's fists clenched so tight that her knuckles were white and decided to put her out of her misery. She kept her two fingers inside Arizona as far as they would reach and started rubbing the soft sponginess of Arizona's sweet spot while she used her thumb to apply friction against her swollen nub. Arizona threw herself backwards into Callie as her orgasm coursed through her body like electricity causing her to see stars behind her tightly clenched eyes. Callie tightened her grip in Arizona's torso to help keep her steady as she rode out the every single wave of pleasure streaming through her body.

"Callie," Arizona said once she was able to catch her breath, "Would it be alright with you if I turned around now?" she asked hesitantly not sure what Callie might still have in mind for her.

"Of course Arizona," she answered relinquishing her grip on Arizona so she could turn around.

Arizona turned around placing her arms around Callie's neck bringing her lips to Callie's in a languid yet sultry kiss.

"Mmm," she moaned against Callie's full lips.

"Good morning," Callie said smiling against Arizona's mouth.

"It is _now_," Arizona wholeheartedly agreed causing Callie to smile a super magic smile of her own. Arizona ran her hands down Callie's back cupping her butt suggestively.

"Is there something I can do for you to make your morning better," she asked seductively as she rubbed her nose sensually against Callie's wet neck.

"And make you late for your date with Mark," she questioned sarcastically.

"Rain check," Arizona raised her eyebrows in inquiry.

"You better believe it," Callie replied wagging her eyebrows lasciviously. Both women went through their morning rituals in the bathroom emerging about twenty minutes later to find Mark sitting at the bar drinking a cup of coffee. Looking up, Mark noted the aura of giddiness surrounding the smiling woman and laughed to himself.

"You two totally just had sex in the shower," he said knowingly.

"What, no, how," Arizona feebly objected while Callie laughed at Arizona's bewilderment.

"You know how you have gaydar," he said mainly to Arizona since Callie was clearly bi-sexual. Arizona nodded her head indicating she was listening to what Mark was saying and patiently waiting for him to finish his explanation.

"Well, I have what is know as laydar," he said completely serious, "I can tell just by looking at a person whether or not they just got laid and you," he said pointing his finger directly at Arizona, "Just got laid," he finished grandly. Arizona paused a moment taking it in and then bust out laughing.

"Well, you know what the doctor's say," she told Mark knowingly, "An orgasm a day keeps the doctor's away," she joked walking over to Callie to kiss her good-bye.

"Oh really," Callie said arching her eyebrows, "The doctor's say that huh?" she challenged.

"Well that is what _this_ doctor says," she replied cheekily winking at Callie stealing another peck from her pouty lips.

"Enough with the love fest," Mark yelled disgusted, "Let's get this show on the road, Blondie."

"Have fun you two," Callie said in parting, "I love you," she directed at Arizona specifically.

"I love you too," Arizona said back, "See you in a little bit," she said closing the door behind her.

Once Mark and Arizona were out of the building secured inside Arizona's car, Mark began peppering Arizona with questions.

"What's your game plan Arizona," he asked, "Do you know what type of ring you want to get," he continued not letting Arizona get a word in edge wise, "How are you going to propose."

"Enough Mark!" Arizona said raising her voice in irritation, "My plan is to go to the jewelry district. I don't know what type of ring I want to get her, I'll know it when I see it. Is that alright with you?"

"Sounds like a plan, Blondie," he said to appease Arizona's irritation. When Arizona didn't comment her expounded further, "You know I'm just looking out for my best friend, right?" Arizona sighed audibly in response to Mark's admission that he was just looking out for Callie. It was after all something they both had in common.

"I do know that Mark, which is why I wanted you to come along," she said as a peace offering. The rest of the ride to the jewelry district passed by in companionable silence. Arizona parallel parked her car along side the street in the jewelry district. The pair walked into the first store they came to. It was one of the biggest chain stores around. Arizona perused the selection nothing catching her attention. Mark pointed out various rings he thought Callie would like but Arizona always found fault in them either being too big, or not big enough. It was the same store after store after store. Arizona was about to throw in the towel when she noticed a run down, dilapidated old building. There wasn't a fancy neon sign flashing in the window, just a simple sign hung on the door that said jewelers.

"Mark, have we been in there already?" she asked confused as to how they missed the store.

"Hmm," Mark said just as puzzled, "We must've missed it." They walked in the tiny store surveying it in confusion. They were about to leave the store when a tiny man about 5'5" with a head full of white hair, sparkling blue eyes, and a pair of old fashioned gold wire rimmed glasses perched on the end of his straight nose shuffled out from the back room to greet them.

"Uh, hi," Arizona greeted the man, "Is this a jewelry store," she asked looking around the room that was almost completely devoid of anything remotely resembling jewelry. The man smiled bright his blue eyes twinkling with behind his spectacles.

"If it is jewelry you are looking for, you've come to the right place," the jolly man said with pride, "We're the oldest jewelry store in the greater Seattle area," he informed, "What are you in the market for?" he asked turning his attention to Mark assuming he was the one looking to buy.

"Oh, no," Arizona interrupted diverting his attention back to her, "Not him, me," she clarified.

"Okay pretty lady," he corrected himself, "What can I show you? A nice bracelet, earrings, or perhaps a pretty pendant to match your pretty eyes that sparkle just like sapphire?"

"Actually, I'm looking for an engagement ring," she said hesitantly worried about how the man would react to her revelation. Her concern was unwarranted as the man clapped his hand in delight.

"How nice for you," he told her sincerely, "What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know?" she answered in a question, "I figured I'd know the ring once I saw it." The man pursed his lips together while he pondered Arizona's statement.

"Not a very good way to buy jewelry," he chastised.

"I told her she needed a game plan," Mark decided to chime in.

"And you are?" the old man asked returning his attention to Mark

"I'm her, her, her," he faltered pathetically.

"Lesbian lover's best friend and my soon to be fiance's baby daddy," Arizona explained to the old man.

"Whew," the old man said exhaling loudly, "Sound com-pli-cat-ed!"

"Very," both Mark and Arizona said in perfect unison.

"I know I have the perfect ring for..." he paused.

"Calliope," Arizona supplied realizing he was waiting for her.

"Calliope," he enunciated her name, "Before I bring out some rings for you to choose from, tell me a little bit about Calliope." Seeing the unconvinced look on Arizona's face, the man said to appease her suspicions, "Humor me, please?"

"Well she is so beautiful that it literally takes my breath away," she said looking up at the ceiling in thought, "When she smiles you almost have to look away 'cause it is so bright," she continued, "You can tell by her expressive brown eyes whether or not she is happy or sad and believe me you will do anything to never see her sad. She wears her heart on her sleeve sometimes to the detriment of herself, she is fiercely loyal, dedicated, and she protects the things that she loves."

"And she has a nice rack," Mark added holding his hands out in front of his chest indicating the size of Callie's breasts.

"And she has a nice, wait, Mark!" Arizona scolded him for being crass.

"She sounds absolutely delightful," the jeweler commented, "Now tell me about your relationship so I can get a better sense of what the perfect ring would be for Calliope." Arizona took a quick detour getting lost in her memories of Callie.

"She kissed my friend in a dirty bar," Mark supplied for Arizona.

"That is not how it happened!" Arizona contested, "She just got dumped and she looked so sad that I had to do something to fix it," she said looking at the old man who was propped up against the counter by his elbow his chin cradled in the palm of his hand listening raptly to Arizona depiction of their relationship.

"I originally went in to cheer her up but couldn't stop myself from kissing her," she said shrugging her shoulders, "And for a minute, she was happy again. It was then, in that moment that I knew I wanted to make Callie happy for the rest of my life," she admitted.

"I sense a but coming," the jewelry said wryly.

"A big but," Mark interjected.

"Quit being one Mark!" Arizona bellowed loudly, "My brother who was my world died in Iraq."

"I'm so sorry," the old man said kindly. Arizona nodded her head in acknowledgment continuing her story.

"His death made me so afraid that if I took the risk and let myself love, that I would get hurt again but Callie is a very persuasive woman and we fell in love, deeply in love. However, we committed a huge relationship faux pas."

"Faux pas?" the old man asked befuddled.

"Yeah, we didn't discuss the sensitive subject of children. As in she wanted them and I didn't."

"Wait, isn't she pregnant?" he asked even more confused.

"That's coming," she said cutting her eyes at Mark, "I used our differences regarding children as an escape route. The way I saw it, there was no compromise, and I would eventually lose Callie, so I ended it first."

"Mature," the man said.

"Not my finest moment, I know," she said hanging her head in shame, "But we were all put in a life or death situation when a shooter came into our hospital wreaking havoc."

"Wow," the man said in awe, "You work at Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital?"

"Yes we all do," she told the man, "Callie works in orthopedics and is an amazingly talented, compassionate doctor," she said with pride, "And he is a plastic surgeon," she indicated to Mark.

"Damn good one, too," he boasted.

"He is," Arizona agreed begrudgingly, "And I am a pediatric surgeon," she said modestly.

"Wow, it must be hard having to do such big surgeries on such tiny humans," the jeweler commented thoughtfully. Arizona's mouth dropped open in surprise that this virtual stranger understood her unique point of view.

"OMG if I wasn't gay, I'd kiss you on the mouth right now!" she said gleefully causing the old man to blush dramatically, "What is your name?"

"My name is Emmett Adkins," he said extending his hand to Arizona. Arizona grasped his hand shaking it lightly.

"Really nice to meet you, Emmett. My name is Arizona Robbins, and this is Mark Sloan."

"Nice to meet you both but I don't have enough of the picture to select a ring to show you yet. Could you please continue?" he asked politely.

"Oh, yeah. Where was I?" she pondered out loud, "Long story short, the shooter made me realize how stupid I was and we got back together."

"Oh Ms. Arizona," Emmett sighed, "Why do I hear another but coming?"

"Cause you're really smart," Mark said cynically causing Arizona to stare daggers into his skull.

"BUT, then I got a grant that would allow me to help poor children in Africa, and she was willing to drop everything she knew and loved to be with me and it freaked me the heck out so I did what I do best and I ran half way across the world to out of fear," Arizona expelled all of it out in a single breath. Emmett just tsked shaking his head sadly at Arizona.

"Hey," she said defensively, "I came back and what did I come back to?" she heatedly asked Mark.

"I know I shouldn't have slept with her Arizona but do you think you are the only one in this world that can't bear to see Callie sad?" he asked irritably.

"OH so that's how you became the baby daddy?" Emmet said trying to diffuse the tension mounting in the room.

"You know what?" Arizona started, "It doesn't matter. None of it. I love Callie and I can honestly say I am going to love this baby. For the first time, I feel like our relationship is firmly rooted in trust, honesty, equality and love and I want it to be forever," she finished looking at Emmett expectantly, "And that is why I need a ring." Emmett shot straight up off the counter struck with inspiration.

"I think I have got just the ring for you," he excitedly exclaimed before shuffling off to the back room where he kept all of his jewelry. Arizona and Mark could hear Emmett rifling around in the back muttering to himself searching for the ring he had in mind for Callie. He came back a few minutes later with a black velvet cloth and a ring encased in a black velvet box. He laid the velvet cloth down on the counter to showcase the ring on.

"The ring I am about to show you is from a period of time from beginning in the 1920's and fading out during world war two. The art deco design originated in Paris and was crafted with more of a geometric look with sharp edges and bold colors," he said presenting the back story of the ring in grand fashion, "The sleek modern style usually featured a center stone with contrasting gemstones. This one is a 2.5 carats light yellow diamond encased in a platinum gold setting. It is flanked on each side by three french cut bright green emeralds, and the entire ring is surrounded by 34 round bead set diamonds." He paused for effect before carefully opening the box and placing the ring gently onto the black velvet cloth. Arizona gasped loudly, and if you asked her later, she would swear that she heard a heavenly choir of angels singing the Halleluiah chorus upon seeing the ring for the first time.

"I'll take it," she said quickly certain Emmett had chosen the right ring for Callie.

"I thought you would like it," Emmett said confidently, "I think the diamond in the middle represents your relationship with Callie. The emeralds flanking each side represent you and Callie individually. Each side supports the diamond while neither side carries more than it's fair share of the weight. It is old fashioned, yet it was considered ahead of its time when it debuted."

"It's perfect Emmett," Arizona said intently staring at the ring. Mark, surprised at being the practical one of this duo tried to reason with Arizona.

"But it's $16 thou..." he began but was interrupted by Arizona.

"I don't care, Mark. I want it," she informed Mark. Emmett watched the volley back and forth between the two doctor's in amusement. He had been in the jewelry business long enough to know that when a woman wanted something, and wanted it bad enough, there wasn't anything that could be said or done once a woman's mind was made up

"She would say yes if you made a ring out of a garbage tie, Arizona," he tried again.

"I want _that _ring when I ask Calliope to marry me," she said stubbornly.

"Whatever," he muttered under his breath, "It's your money."

"Emmett," Arizona said with confidence doing a little happy dance, "I'll take it!" she said handing the elderly man her credit card.

"You won't regret it, I assure you," he told the ecstatic woman in front of him. Emmett took the credit card to the register to process the transaction. He came back to the pair presenting Arizona with her card, and her receipt to sign. Before she could grab the pen, her pager went off in her purse. She dug around in her purse searching for the pager griping under her breath because she could never find anything in her damn purse when she needed to. While she was searching, Mark's pager went off as well. He grabbed the pager off of his pocket looking at it. Arizona found the offending item looking at it the same time as Mark. Arizona's stomach dropped and she looked at Mark in dread. His eyes were wide with fear and his normally ruddy complexion had paled considerably.

"911," Arizona said softly her voice wavering with fear, "Oh God, Callie."

"She wouldn't," Mark faltered implying that might be another false alarm caused by Callie's irrational fears about losing the baby.

"No, she wouldn't," Arizona stressed, "Something is wrong, Mark." she said panic mounting. She grabbed the receipt signing it quickly. She grabbed the bag off the counter shoving it in her purse thanking the man that had just become a new friend to her. Arizona and Mark sprinted to her car. She unlocked the doors throwing the keys to Mark. She removed the ring out of her purse putting locking it away in her glove box for safe keeping.

"Mark," she said in a low, serious tone of voice, "Get me to Callie, now." Mark nodded knowing words were not necessary. Knowledge was what was necessary. Little did Mark know that knowing was only going to be half the battle.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: How Do You Say Good-bye To A Dream?**

Mark broke every possible traffic law known to man in order to get them to the hospital as fast as possible without killing them both. He didn't bother parking the car just pulling up next to the curb in front of the hospital. Arizona jumped out of the car before Mark even put it in park. She ran through the doors to the hospital with Mark hot on her heels. Arizona bypassed the elevators electing to take the stairs mounting them two at a time driven by pure adrenaline rooted in fear. The nurse on the OB floor heard the ruckus echoing in the stairwell guessing who it was. She called into the exam room to let Dr. Fields know. Dr. Fields stepped out of Callie's room at the same time Arizona and Mark came bursting though the stairwell doors. She met them halfway ushering the flustered pair into the nearest consultation room.

"What the hell is going on, Lucy?" Arizona asked her voice taut with emotion. Lucy frowned deeply hating to be the bearer of bad news. She figured it would be best to spare her fellow doctors the downplayed version electing instead to present the medical facts knowing that it would be what she'd want if the situations were reversed.

"Callie came in presenting with shortness of breath, severe abdominal cramping with moderate bleeding," she said listing all of Callie's symptoms, "I immediately set her up for an ultrasound but there was no heart beat."

"Callie's having a miscarriage," Mark said dumbstruck, "She's having a miscarriage," he repeated as if that would somehow dull the excruciating pain that was permeating throughout his body taking up permanent residence in his heart.

"Well, is it a complete or incomplete miscarriage?" Arizona asked choosing to stick with the medicine as her way to deal with the traumatic events.

"Incomplete," Dr. Fields answered, "We can do a D&C to remove the fetus, or she can wait to see if it passes naturally," Dr. Fields said her voice breaking unevenly as the effects of what just occurred caught up with her.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly to hide her embarrassment, "It's just that I was rooting for you. _All_ of you," she said meeting both the eyes of Mark and Arizona.

"Thank you," Arizona responded graciously, "How is she?" Arizona asked switching into concerned girlfriend mode.

"Honestly," she sighed heavily running her hand through her hair, "She's trying to be strong but it is only a matter of time before her hormones take over holding her hostage and then she's going to have a major break down." Arizona nodded her head in agreement with Lucy's assessment of Callie's mental status.

"Can we see her?" She asked.

"Of course," Lucy confirmed, "She's waiting for you in room three. Let met know if there is anything I can do. _I mean it_," She stressed sincerely before leaving the room giving the traumatized pair a moment alone to regain their equilibrium before seeing Callie.

"She's having a miscarriage," Mark repeated over and over like a broken record or a drunken parrot.

"I know Mark, I know," Arizona said sympathetically, "I'm so, so, so sorry," she said her voice choking up making it too hard for her to continue speaking. Each was lost in their own personal hell unable to offer comfort or derive any support from the company of the other. Arizona needed her own time and space in order to deal with Callie's miscarriage. She knew that once she set foot in Callie's room, her feelings would be virtually non-existent as she supported Callie through the pain of losing her child. It was time for Arizona to step up and once again become a good man in a storm.

"Mark," Arizona said sharply shaking him out of his stupor, "It's time. Callie needs us." Mark shook his head from side to side in order to rid his mind of the cobwebs invading every inch of his brain.

"I"m ready as I'll ever be," he said neutrally. Arizona and Mark left the safety of the consultation room making their way towards Callie's room with purpose. Arizona lead the way stopping abruptly in front of the door, taking a deep breath, and one more look at Mark, she nodded her head to no one in particular and went in. Callie's attention was immediately drawn to the door. Callie's resolve to remain strong immediately crumbled upon seeing Arizona and Mark. Tears poured out of her eyes coursing their way down her cheeks. A mangled sob escaped her throat causing Arizona to rush to the distraught woman enveloping her in a comforting embrace.

"I'm here, baby," she soothed, "Just cry," She encouraged softly in her ear. Arizona's compassion and concern caused Callie to cry even harder. Arizona gently rocked Callie as she heaved with sobs murmuring words of love and comfort the entire time. After awhile, the sobs subsided and Callie was left trying to catch her breath. She pulled away from Arizona looking at her with grief stricken eyes.

"Why, Arizona, why?" she asked desperately not really expecting an answer. She looked wildly around the room trying to make sense of a senseless situation when she spotted Mark standing off to the side.

"Oh my god, Mark," she said wailing, her grief immediately switching to guilt, "I'm so sorry, Mark," She apologized meekly. Mark stepped up to the exam table looking to Arizona for silent permission to step up to Callie. She moved aside to give him plenty of space in order to comfort Callie.

"Listen to me," Mark said sternly taking her hands into his much larger ones, "You have _nothing_ to be sorry for," he finished with honest conviction.

"All I had to do was take care of this baby until it was time to deliver it, and I couldn't even do that right," she cried her voice thick with regret, "I mess everything up Mark," her ramble verging on the brink of hysteria, "I'm like a reverse Midas. Instead of turning things to gold, everything I touch turns to shit." Mark tried his best to let his friend vent and express her feelings but he couldn't stand by and listen to his best friend berating herself over something she had absolutely no control over.

"Callie, stop!" he yelled with force completely stopping her hysterical rant causing her to look at him in disbelief, her mouth agape.

"Mark," Arizona said in a low voice attempting to intervene, "Take it easy," she warned.

"No I won't," he said obstinately, "I will no sit here and let her take the blame for something she could not possibly have any control over," he said expelling his breath loudly in frustration before continuing, "She just had her last appointment two weeks ago and everything was fine. As much as this suck," he paused to swallow the huge knot that was forming in his throat, "As much as it hurts, we all know that half of all miscarriages that occur before the 12th week have no identifiable cause."

"Oh is that supposed to be helpful Mark," Callie spat tersely.

"Callie," Arizona said attempting to intervene this time on Mark's behalf. Little did she know that this miscarriage would make her into a referee between the two biological parents as well.

"No, Arizona. I mean what the hell is that? Statistics? Really?" Callie ranted while Mark and Arizona just waited until the anger ran its course causing Callie to run out of steam.

"Look Cal," Mark began tentatively, "I don't think there is anything anyone can say that will make you feel better in here," he said pointing to her heart, "But up here," he said switching to her brain, "Up here I needed my best friend to know that I don't blame her, no one does," he said softly. Callie looked at her friend seeing that blaming herself was probably hurting him as much as losing the baby was.

"Okay?" he asked needing desperately to hear that Callie understood what he was trying to tell her. Overwhelmed, Callie could only nod in affirmation. Mark hugged the emotionally frail woman tightly against his chest placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Love you Cal," he said releasing her. Callie met his eyes giving him a sad smile.

"I'm gonna give you two some time alone," Mark told the other women sensing they needed some time alone and he needed respite from all the thoughts and feelings running a muck.

"We'll get with you later," Arizona confirmed. Mark nodded his head in response. Once Mark was gone, Callie looked to Arizona for answers.

"What am I supposed to do now, Arizona?" she asked burying her head in her hands truly uncertain as to what was expected of her now. Arizona resumed her position in front of Callie. Resting her hands lightly on her shoulders, Arizona pushed them back slightly to get Callie's attention.

"Well," she said slowly, "We are going to take one thing at a time," she said kindly, "Okay?" she asked soliciting Callie's opinion.

"Okay," Callie mumbled numbly.

"Sweetie have you thought about what you want to do about the baby?" Arizona asked tentatively immediately causing Callie to look up a firestorm of anger bubbling beneath the surface of Callie's eyes.

"What baby Arizona," she spat her voice rising, "I had a miscarriage," she yelled. Arizona remained steadfast and calm making sure to keep her voice neutral when she responded.

"I know you had a miscarriage, Callie and I'm sorry if I wasn't clear with my question. Have you considered having the D&C to remove the baby or would you rather go home and let nature take its course?" she asked deliberately ensuring that Callie didn't misunderstand and leap to anymore conclusions.

"Oh," Callie said the implication of Arizona's question dawning on her for the first time causing tears of sad surprise to spill out of her eyes yet again. Callie had not thought about that until the question was put out there. The realization hit her like a massive tsunami overwhelming her with so many emotions she felt like she could literally drown from all the emotions flooding through her. Many of which did not have a name. Callie was literally scared of the day when she would have to recognize and face some of the nameless demons laying in wait for her.

"I don't know what to do," she admitted between fresh sobs, "W-w-what would you do, Arizona if it were you?" The question wasn't one that anyone ever sits at home pondering so Arizona paused for clarity as to what she would do if the roles were switched. The juvenile part of her was telling her that she would never have gotten herself into a situation like the one Callie was in but that wasn't really helping so Arizona mentally chastised her inner teen taking away her inner teen's imaginary cell phone and I-pod for being so callous.

"If it were me, Callie," Arizona said leaning forward to bring herself closer, "If it were me, I wouldn't want to pass my baby at home in the toilet, or in a tub. I just couldn't..." Arizona faltered unable to finish her train of thought because the idea of having to flush the remains of a baby down the toilet was just too horrific to speak out loud, "I'd have the D&C," she told Callie once she was able to regain her composure.

"Okay," Callie agreed numbly, "I'll do it."

"I'm going to send Mark back into be with you while I talk to Lucy about setting it up then I will be right back."

"Okay," Callie replied. Arizona left the room in dismay. It was a little disconcerting to hear her normally excitable, talkative girlfriend reduced to one word syllables. She needed to do something to help Callie find her voice again. Arizona found mark sitting at the nurse's station staring blankly at the computer monitor. After updating Mark, Arizona went in search for Dr. Field's. Arizona found her in with another patient so she waited outside the room pacing in the hall way until she came out. Arizona let Dr. Field's know Callie's decision and felt immediate relief and gratitude towards Lucy for having the foresight to have an OR on stand-by just for this very reason. Not having to delay the inevitable by waiting for an OR was a god send and the least Dr. Fields felt she could offer. Arizona confirmed the time again before returning to Callie's room to find Mark curled up behind Callie on the bed much like he did the time she had the chicken pox. His presence seemed to help as Callie's sobs had abated. He made to get up but Arizona stopped him with a wave of her hand knowing her ego and petty jealousies had no place here, not now.

"Dr. Field's has an OR available right now, Callie," she informed, "She's agreed to allowed me to escort you to the operating room, and I'll be in the room the whole time holding your hand."

"Now," Callie asked her voice void of feeling.

"Well she booked an OR because she knew this was a possibility and she wanted to make this as easy as possible," Arizona said cringing at her poor choice of words.

"Easy," Callie repeated rising up to a sitting position, "Okay." Arizona brought a wheel chair to where Callie was extending an arm out to assist with her getting to her feet, then guiding her into the chair.

"I'll see you on the other side, kid," Mark said meaning to be encouraging.

"We'll be in OR five," Arizona said wheeling Callie out of the room. She pushed them in silence to the elevator pushing the down button. Arizona was absorbed in thought as to whether or not her plan to help Callie express her feelings would explode in her face. She decided that if it did, she could take what Callie had to dish out. Anger was a feeling most directed at the person you trust the most because people don't get really angry with someone that they think can't handle it. Not really. Either way, Callie would be expressing her feelings. Once the elevator dinged its arrival, Arizona pushed Callie into the empty car pressing the buttons of the floor she wanted to stop on. The ladies rode the elevator down a few floors st ill in silence. Callie sat in her chair staring blankly ahead while Arizona scrutinized her appearance biting her bottom lip in apprehension. When the door opened, Callie snapped out of her stupor long enough to notice they weren't on the surgical floor.

"Where are you taking me," she wondered aloud.

"Detour," Arizona replied cryptically pushing her along the stark corridors until she reached her destination.

"The chapel?" she asked cynically, "Why are we at the chapel?"

"Because there is someone I need to talk to before you go into surgery," Arizona answered pushing the doubting woman into the room.

"Since when did you get all up close and personal with Jesus,"Callie asked her voice dripping with sarcasm, "Religion was never your thing,"

"I'm not here to talk to God," Arizona said sitting down on the pew in the very front.

"Then?" Callie asked looking around the room for good measure clearly confused at this point.

"Shhh," Arizona gently admonished the befuddled woman. Clearly her throat nervously, Arizona began speaking out loud.

"Rylie, as a doctor, I've learned that some things, for whatever reason, are just not meant to be. As a woman, it pains me so very deeply to have to admit that you were one of those things that just wasn't meant to be," she paused cutting her eyes to see what Callie's reaction was. Callie's head wasn't slightly bent. A good indication that she was paying attention to what Arizona was saying.

"I really didn't care if you were a boy or a girl. Both would've been wonderful and exciting to be a part of. If you were a girl, I'd hoped you would have your mama's curly brown hair, and big brown eyes. Cause let's face it, all you would have to do is bat those pretty little eyes at me, and you could get away with just about anything, even ice cream for breakfast. If you were a boy, I would make sure not only what a gentleman was but how to be one as well," she chanced another glance at Callie to see that she was shaking slightly. She grabbed Callie's hand holding onto it tightly.

"So you see as a woman, and as someone that was going to be your mother and watch you grow up, it really, really stinks that I won't get the chance to see you grow into the wonderful person I am certain you would be. I sure hope God has a good reason for doing what He did because believe me, it is one of the first things I am going to ask Him when I see Him. My brother is up there too, so if you ever need anything, find him and he will take care of you. I miss you already. Good-bye Rylie," Arizona said softly completing her heart felt missive. Arizona expelled a shaky breath turning to look at Callie who was simple staring at her in wonder.

"Rylie?" Callie asked,

"Yeah," Arizona replied with a shrug of her shoulders, "Works for either a boy or a girl."

"Rylie," Callie whispered under her breath letting the name roll of her tongue flowing out of her mouth with flourish, "Rylie, it is a good name," Callie concurred.

"Thanks," Arizona said with a smile rising off the pew pretending she was ready to leave, "We can go now," she said non-nonchalantly.

"Can you hang on a second, I mean do we have some time?" she asked timidly.

"Of course, I can honey. Take all the time you need," she said assuredly squeezing Callie's hand in support. Sitting next to Callie, Arizona could sense the inner turmoil brewing in Callie as she tried to compose the tempest brewing inside her into coherent speech. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Callie began.

"Rylie, I've loved you long before I even knew you existed. I loved you from the day I first got my period at age 12 and learned that it meant I could be someone's mommy some day. I so wanted to be _your_ mommy Rylie. You were my chance to leave this world a better place than I found it, you were my chance to become a better person, my chance at being whole and to become the person I was meant to be. A mother," Callie said intensely causing Arizona to look away. She didn't want Callie to see the tears that were pouring out of her eyes streaming down her face. Arizona knew how much Callie wanted to have children, but until that very moment, she never truly understood what being a mother meant to Callie. Arizona was always certain of what her calling was. It was to be a doctor, and to help the helpless: children. Arizona realized that Callie considered her sole purpose in life to give back to the world was by being a parent. The realization completely humbled her, and no she was not particularly religious, but she sent a quick, silent plea to God that he would one day allow Callie's dreams to come true by letting her have a child. One day. Arizona's attention was brought back to the present when Callie began to speak again.

"You will always hold a special place in my heart, Rylie. Always," she said fiercely, "You will always be my first. I will never, ever forget you and I will _always_ love you," she said with quiet vehemence, "Good-bye Rylie, mi corazon," she finished tenderly.

"I'm ready now, Arizona," she informed the woman next to her. Arizona took her place behind the wheel chair pushing Callie out of the chapel heading back to the elevator.

"Arizona?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, honey," Arizona replied inwardly sighing in relief that Callie got over one of the many hurdles that she was bound to be faced with as a result of losing her baby. Arizona wasn't certain whether or not God would come through for Callie. She did know that she would do whatever was in her powers to make Callie's dreams come true even if that mean she had to be the one to carry the baby. Arizona was willing to bend because Callie was her soul mate. And Callie was also her good man in a storm.


	9. Chapter 9

Arizona remained true to her word never leaving Callie's side from beginning to end. Even though Callie had no way of knowing, Arizona held her hand the entire time keeping constant vigilance on Callie's monitor's as well as a keen eye on what Dr. Fields was doing. The surgery to remove the fetus went as well as expected, and Callie's prognosis was good. Additionally, Dr. Fields could see no reason why Callie wouldn't be able to conceive and carry a baby to full term in the future. Arizona managed to update Mark as well as arranging for him to bring over some clothes for Callie to change into when it was time for her to be discharged. Arizona alternated between sitting next to Callie's bedside and pacing her room with nervous energy as she anxiously awaited for Callie to come out of the anesthesia. She had ice water with a straw at the ready knowing the first thing most people wanted after coming out of surgery was a drink of water. Arizona really despised waiting. It set her mind on fire with what if questions. She resumed pacing around the room desperately wishing for a cigarette to soothe her nerves. Arizona glanced at Callie lying motionless in her bed and was struck by how frail and weak Callie appeared. Arizona felt a bolt of fierce protectiveness in her gut. She sat down again in the chair by the bed grasping Callie's hand in her own.

"Calliope," she whispered softly in Callie's ear, "I know how much this baby meant to you, and I know your heart feels like it has been ripped out of your chest leaving a bleak, hollow cavity in its place. I know you are going to fall apart, but I _promise_ you that my arms will be the glue that holds you together for as long as you need me to be. And I _know_ you are going to be angry so I will be your punching bag for as long as you need me to be. And you will try to push me away, but I will not let you. I will do whatever or be whatever you need me to be. And when you are ready, I will do everything I can to make your dream of becoming a mother a reality. Because let's face it, until I met you, I wasn't a good man in a storm. I think I was just lost in one. It wasn't until you that I became a good man in a storm. You make me better, hell, you make everything better. So, I will do all I can to help make you better. I promise," she sealed her vow with a tender kiss to Callie's forehead. When she pulled back, she noticed Callie's eyes fluttering beneath her eyelids.

"Hey baby," she said softly, "Can you hear me?" she asked hopefully. Callie's eyes slowly opened in response to Arizona's question but it was like being under water with your eyes open. Everything was blurry and distorted. Her hearing was effected the same way because she could see Arizona's lips moving but she couldn't distinguish what she was saying. She automatically opened her mouth when Arizona brought the straw to her lips sucking greedily.

"Slow down sweetie," Arizona cautioned not wanting Callie to get sick. Callie's senses were slowly returning to her and she did what Arizona asked.

"Home," she rasped hoarsely attempting to let Arizona know what her wishes were.

"I'm going to page Lucy to see what we can do about getting you home," Arizona responded walking over to the phone to page Dr. Fields. As the clock slowly ticked, Callie became more alert and oriented so that by the time Dr. Fields arrived, she was sitting up on the side of her bed, her feet planted firmly on the floor.

"Well, look who is up and about," Lucy observed brightly commenting on Callie's progress.

"When can I go home?" Callie asked immediately cutting to the chase.

"Well normally I'd want to keep you overnight for observation but because both of you are doctors and know what to watch out for, I'm willing to release you into Arizona's care," she carefully explained to Callie before handing Callie the clipboard with her discharge orders.

"If anything out of the ordinary happens, I'll come right back," Callie said to placate her doctor before signing her discharge papers handing the clipboard back to Lucy. Lucy took the papers back turning on her heel to leave. She paused turning around to look at Callie and Arizona.

"For what it is worth, I am really sorry for your loss Callie," she said honestly. Callie forced an appreciative smile on her face in acknowledgment of Lucy's kind words. Lucy shot a sympathetic glance in Arizona's direction before exiting the room to process Callie's paperwork. Arizona helped Callie get changed, then went in search of a wheel chair. Lucy let Mark know of Callie's pending discharge so even though Callie lived directly across the street from the hospital, he was waiting for her with Arizona's car. When he saw them coming out, he hopped quickly out of the car, opening the passenger side door for Callie. Arizona took an arm while Mark did the same assisting Callie into the car. Once everyone was securely situated in the car, Mark looked over to Callie with concern etched into his ruggedly handsome face.

"How ya holding up kid?" Mark asked.

"Oh you know," Callie responded sarcastically, "I just had my dead baby essentially vacuumed out of my womb, I'm great," she retorted cutting her eyes at Mark. Mark eye's caught Arizona's in the rear view mirror with a look of helplessness as if to ask, "What do I do now?" Arizona shook her head slightly indicating that Mark should just let it be and not engage. So needless to say the short ride home was fraught with a tension so palpable it was hard to breathe. The trio rode the elevator up to their apartment in complete silence. Stepping out of the elevator, Mark made his way over to Callie's apartment.

"I'm really tired," she said to Mark, "I'm just going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, Okay?" she asked not really caring what his response would be. Arizona shot him a sympathetic look.

"Good night, Mark," she told the confused man.

"Good night?" he answered in question opening his own door retreating inside. Arizona opened the door to their apartment standing aside to let Callie in. Arizona shut the door behind her pausing to secure the locks. Callie was crossing the room to get to the couch when the events of the day finally caught up to her causing her legs to give way crumbling into an emotional heap on the living room floor. Arizona rushed over to the distraught woman gathering Callie up in her arms.

"I just can't do it anymore, Arizona," she wailed pitifully between gut wrenching sobs of pain.

"Do what baby?" Arizona asked totally bewildered.

"I can't be strong anymore," she said sobbing loudly.

"You don't have to be," she said pulling them so that her back was against the couch supporting the weight of the two of them. Arizona grabbed Callie's face in her hands, "You don't have to be, I got you," she said holding Callie tightly in her arms. Arizona simply held Callie in her arms while Callie's cries alternated from gut wrenching sobs, to the silent sobs that come from some place dark and deep respecting Callie's grief enough not to offer empty words of comfort. After awhile, Callie's crying subsided enough that Arizona felt secure enough that she could finally say something to her and Callie would actually be able to hear and comprehend what she was saying.

"Not that I mind being down here on the floor with you, but don't you think you would be more comfortable in bed?"

"Too tired," Callie mumbled against the crook of Arizona's neck.

"Come on baby," Arizona said trying to rouse the emotionally exhausted woman, "I'll help you." Callie sat straight up, allowing Arizona to get up off the floor. Arizona held out her hands to help Callie stand up. Callie accepted the help wincing in pain as she stood up.

"Are you in pain, Callie?" she worriedly questioned.

"A little," Callie admitted.

"Let's get you to bed and I will get you a heating pad and your pain medications," Callie allowed herself to be led to her bedroom. Callie waited listlessly as Arizona pulled down the bed covers making it ready for Callie to get in. Once Callie was settled, Arizona went in search of the heating pad and pain medications. Arizona handed Callie the water and meds before plugging in the heating pad placing it under the covers on Callie's tummy.

"Need anything else?" Arizona questioned. Callie shook her head negatively.

"Okay, I am going to get ready for bed and then I'll be right in," she told the prone woman trying to be reassuring by letting Callie know that she wouldn't be alone for too long. Arizona returned to the room after washing her face and brushing her teeth to find Callie lying on her side facing away from her curled into the fetal position. Arizona turned off the lights getting into bed as gently as she could so that she didn't jar the healing woman next to her. Arizona was uncertain as to what she should do next but her answer was delivered to her in a soft plea in the form of her name.

"Arizona," and with that one solitary word Arizona moved next to Callie molding her front to Callie's back spooning her from behind. She held Callie's trembling body fighting her own fatigue until Callie's medication pushed her into sleep. Once Arizona was certain Callie was asleep did she allow herself to follow.

Arizona didn't know how long she'd been asleep when she was awakened by Callie who was thrashing around on the bed mumbling incoherently in the clutches of a particularly monstrous nightmare. Arizona could make out words like, "No," and "Please save my baby," and knew immediately what the nature of Callie's dreams were about. Arizona trapped Callie's flailing limbs by placing her arm over her stomach and grabbing Callie's other wrist to stop it from moving. She tried speaking to Callie in a hushed, soothing tone of voice. It took a moment before Arizona's actions lulled Callie back into a dreamless state. Arizona watched Callie sleeping keeping a constant vigil for anymore nightmares until she could no long hold her own eyelids open finally succumbing to severe exhaustion.

Arizona could always tell when Callie was watching her sleep because it felt like two laser sights were targeted on her face. She opened her eyes one at a time to find Callie staring intently at her. Callie smiled at the sleepy Arizona.

"Morning," Callie said softly kissing Arizona on the nose causing Arizona to smile a hesitant greeting in return.

"I just had the most awful dream, Arizona," Callie began to recount what her dream was about causing Arizona's blue eyes to widen in stark horror at the fact that Callie thought her miscarriage was a nightmare. Callie immediately noticed the sudden shift in Arizona's countenance.

"Oh God," she stammered on the verge of more tears, "It wasn't a dream, it wasn't a nightmare. I lost the baby!" she exclaimed as the realization swept over her with as much force as it did the first time. Arizona pulled her back into her arms hugging her fiercely against her chest.

"You had a miscarriage yesterday," Arizona re-confirmed, "I'm so, so, sorry," she whispered softly against Callie's head. After awhile, Callie's cries abated. Sitting up on the bed, she looked at Arizona with eyes so red and puffy from crying that they were practically swollen shut.

"Seems my tears have dried up for now," she said apologetically.

"Are you in any pain," Arizona asked adding quickly so as to not seem insensitive, "From the procedure, I mean?" Callie deliberated taking a mental inventory of what was actually physical pain versus what was emotional pain.

"I'm a little sore but nothing out of the ordinary," she commented with a long sigh.

"Are you hungry? I know I can't really cook but I could make...toast...or...ooh soup?" Arizona said beginning to ramble.

"Not really," Callie said interrupting her tangent," I think..I think I'd like to take a bath."

"Okay, why don't you get undressed while I run you a tub," Arizona suggested. Callie nodded in approval so Arizona went off to fill the tub adding some lavender bath beads to the water hoping the lavender would help calm Callie's over exerted nerves. Callie appeared a few minutes later wearing her robe. Arizona handed Callie a clean wash rag and set a clean towel down for her on the sink.

"I'm going to take a shower while you soak, and then I'm going to make myself something to eat," she informed Callie, "You'll be okay?"

"Yeah," Callie said uncertainly, "I think I can manage."

"If you need..." Arizona started.

"I'll call you,"Callie said finishing Arizona's sentence.

"Okay," Arizona said disrobing so that she could grab a quick shower. If Callie was feeling anything like Arizona, she really wished this shower could carry the events of the last day down the drain with the water. Arizona pondered the events that transpired in the last 24 hours. It was completely surreal to her that practically 24 hours ago she was buying an engagement ring and was arguing with Mark over how to propose. Now once again, fate intervened dealing them a future of uncertainty. Arizona quickly washed and dried off wanting to make something to eat in the hopes that smelling the food might stimulate Callie's appetite. Wrapping her body and hair in a towel, she glanced surreptitiously in Callie's directions. Callie was lying back in the tub with her arms draped over the edge of the tub with a rag over her eyes. Arizona was really tempted to check in with Callie but she seemed to be relaxing and Arizona didn't want to hover annoyingly. She went into their room to finish getting ready donning a pair of worn jeans and an old t-shirt. She gave the bed a lick and a promise making it before laying out similar clothing for Callie opting for a yoga pants instead of jeans thinking about Callie's physical comfort. Satisfied with her choices, she went into the kitchen. Arizona peered nervously into the cabinets chewing on her bottom lip trying to decide what she could eat. She settled on comfort food in the form of chicken noodle soup. She figured that reading and following the instructions was the key to increasing her odds of preparing something edible so that is exactly what she did. The soup was ready in about 15 minutes and Callie still wasn't out of the tub. Arizona struggled internally about whether or not she should check in with Callie. She contemplated her dilemma for another five minutes or so before giving up the battle. She walked into the bathroom unsure as to what she was going to find. Callie was still in the tub and it appeared as if she had washed her hair because it was wet and plastered to her head.. She was sitting up in the tub staring lifelessly into the water.

"Sweetie," Arizona said hesitantly, "What's going on?" she asked her voice heavy with concern.  
"My breasts," she said monotonously.

"What?" Arizona responded not quite sure what she was hearing.

"My breasts," Callie emphasized, "Are lactating."

"Oh," Arizona replied neutrally unsure as to what she could say to make the situation better. She recalled her medical knowledge that some women tended to begin the lactation process early in their pregnancy but she felt like saying this out loud would belittle what the other woman was going through so instead she took action. She knelt down by the tub submerging her hand into the water searching for the rag. She squirted body wash onto the wash cloth proceeding to finish bathing Callie. She pulled the plug releasing the water before grabbing the towel off the sink holding it up for Callie. She used it to dry her off finishing by wrapping the towel snugly around Callie's body. She held out her hand to help Callie step out of the tub leading her by the hand into the bedroom.

"Thank you, Arizona," Callie said suddenly snapping back into reality, "I got it from here."

"Sure thing," Arizona responded a little too brightly before heading back into the kitchen where she left the soup on warm. She got two bowls out of the cupboard pouring the steaming liquid into them. She rummaged through the cabinets in search of saltines. She was sitting at the counter buttering a cracker when Callie finally emerged from the bedroom dressed. She noted that Arizona made her bowl of soup and decided to eat something to see if it would help settle her stomach but mostly to placate Arizona. While they were eating, Mark opened the apartment door poking his head in cautiously testing to see what the emotional climate was. Arizona saw him peeking his head in waving him over. Walking over to where the women were sitting, he look at Callie unsure of his approach.

"Hey Callie, how are you feeling today?" he asked apprehensively.

"I've been better," she answered with a shrug of her shoulders. As an after thought she added, "How are you?"

"I've been better," Mark quipped using the same tone of voice and shrug of his shoulders as Callie which earned him a snort and a chuckle from Callie. Arizona watched the exchange completely baffled wondering how Mark could get away with that exchange unscathed. She pushed down the feelings of jealousy and chalked it up to the weird bond Mark and Callie had as best friends. She really had to work on trying to stuff down her feelings of unrealistic inadequacy so she could learn to accept that Mark just got Callie in a way that she never would. She also took comfort in the fact that she was able to relate to Callie in a way that he never would.

"Hello, Mark," Arizona said in greeting.

"Oh hey there," Mark said so intent on Callie's smile that he failed to notice her presence.

"Mark, are you working today?" Arizona asked.

"No, I've taken the next couple of days off, why?" Mark replied.

"Well if you are going to be here for awhile, I thought I'd go to the store."

"I got this," he said gesturing to towards Callie indicating that he was willing to do his part and take watch over Callie.

"Callie, do you need me to get you anything while I am at the store?" Arizona directed her question to Callie.

"No," Callie answered getting off her stool to put her mostly eaten bowl of soup in the dishwasher.

"Okay," she said stepping to Callie placing a kiss on her cheek, "I won't be gone too long. Call my cell if you think of anything you need."

As soon as Arizona stepped out of the apartment, she rummaged through her purse frantically searching through it for her cigarette. She lit up in the hallway inhaling deeply feeling slightly guilty for breaking the buildings rule of no smoking in common areas but at this point, her nerves were fried. She opted for the stairs instead of the elevator so she could finish her cigarette. Arizona made quick work of the grocery store figuring her best bet would be to select items that only needed to be heated up in the oven in order to be edible. She grabbed all of the tabloid magazines and puzzle books she could find while she was in line at the check out counter. It was rough enough watching Callie go through the miscarriage once, but then to have to watch her all over again this morning was excruciating. She could only imagine what it must've felt like for Callie. Arizona would rather swallow razor blades that to have to bear witness to that again. Hence, the magazines and hopefully a distraction for

Callie if only temporary.

Arizona returned home to find that Mark had brought Callie's pillow and comforter off their bed creating a make shift bed off the couch. Callie was lying on her back with her feet in Mark's lap watching television snug as a butterfly in a cocoon.

"Hey, you're back," Mark said pointing out the obvious getting up from the couch to help Arizona with the bags. Callie nodded in greeting never taking her eyes off the TV.

"How's she been," Arizona wondered in a hushed tone of voice so that Callie wouldn't over hear.

"She's hanging in there. I've been trying to keep her occupied," Mark began but was inadvertently interrupted by Callie.

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" Callie exclaimed loudly in an over the top fake Spanish accent in unison with the television.

"Ooh, 'The Princess Bride', Mark?" Arizona said in awe, "She _loves _movie. You're a damn genius, Mark."

"I know she does," Mark began but then was taken aback, "Wait did you just compliment me?" he said seeking clarification as to what he just heard.

"Can I have that in writing?" Mark jokingly pushed Arizona earning him a malevolent glare from Arizona. Arizona laughed at Mark's antics raising a fist as if to punch him. He back away from her warily but with a silly grin on his face.

"What? I'm just saying,!" Both parties were laughing, and for a brief second, both were grateful for a moment of normalcy before the harsh reality of a dead baby and a broken woman came rushing back to their consciousness when Callie requested a glass of water. Arizona got the water while Mark bid Callie farewell promising to check in with her later. Arizona sat down on the couch next to Callie handing her the water. Callie took a sip placing git on the end table next to her. She then took Arizona's arm ducking under it so that it was around her shoulders and she was snug against Arizona's chest. She was almost settled when she caught a noxious whiff of odor left behind from the cigarette.

"You've been smoking," she chastised.

"What, no," Arizona poorly tried to lie, "Okay maybe just one," she admitted guiltily. Callie pulled back to study Arizona realizing for the first time just what Arizona had lost and was still in danger of losing. The baby and her.

"I'm sorry seeing me like this has got you so stressed out that feel the need to smoke," she said regretfully but also with a tinge of fear. Fear that if things got any harder for Arizona, she would resort to bailing out. Ever astute, Arizona was able to catch the subtext in Callie's apology.

"Hey, hey, hey," she said grabbing Callie's chin her hands making her meet her gaze in order to see the complete sincerity behind what she was about to say, "There is no place in this world that I would rather be than here with you. In good times and bad. So no apologies, okay?" Callie's eyes welled up with tears of gratitude. Too humbled for words, she simply nodded allowing herself to be pulled back into Arizona's embrace both women settling in to watch the rest of the movie in companionable silence. Unfortunately, "The Princess Bride" had to come to an end forcing Arizona and Callie out of their cozy bubble. Arizona was racking her brains out as to what to do next. Her stomach rumbled loudly providing her with the answer she needed.

"Was that your stomach, Arizona?" Callie joked looking in shock that such a bit sound could come from such a small person.

"Yeah," Arizona admitted ruefully, "I'm a little bit hungry."

"A little," Callie teased.

"How bout you?" Arizona questioned. Callie scrunched her face shaking her head no.

"You know what though?"

"What?" said Arizona.

"I've always wanted to teach you how to cook," Callie responded answering her question.

"Oh, no" Arizona protested, "I'm not sure that's a good idea,"

"Come on Arizona, every woman should have at least three dishes that they can cook well."

"Says who," Arizona challenged.

"Says mi madre," Callie retorted back, "Besides you want to keep me occupied, right?"

"How did you know?" Arizona asked sheepishly. Callie chewed on her bottom lips considering her answer.

"Well I didn't until just now but it is what I would do ya know if things were reversed," replied Callie.

"Hmm, then I guess my answer is yes, yes you can _try_ to teach me how to cook," Arizona said warily.

"Great," Callie said mustering some enthusiasm, "Let's see what we have to work with," she said getting up from the couch. Perusing the contents of their cupboards, she pulled out a variety of items. She opened the fridge gathering ingredients out of it as well as out of the freezer. Arizona looked at all the ingredients gathered in front of her feeling the uncomfortable feeling of intimidation.

"What am _I _going to do will all of _that_?" she asked puzzled.

"Mama called this poor man's spaghetti," Callie informed Arizona, "Although why she called it that I'll never know 'cause we certainly never were poor," she muttered under her breath. For the next 90 minutes, Callie patiently instructed Arizona in the delicate art of cooking. The sauce was summering and the pasta was cooking. Arizona pulled down plates to set the bar for dinner. She poured herself a glass of white wine and a glass of red for Callie. Callie accepted the glass of wine taking a timid sip.

"Guess I can have wine again huh?" she commented on yet another reminder that she was no longer pregnant.

"Oh do you not want..." Arizona began hesitantly.

"No I want this wine, I need this wine," she said taking another yet bigger sip. Arizona thought twice about saying something to Callie about consuming too much alcohol but decided to see how Callie would play it out.

"Pasta is boiling," Callie said quickly switching back into cooking instructor.

"Oh," Arizona said rushing over to the boiling pot in a semi panic. Callie laughed at Arizona's complete awkwardness in the kitchen explaining to her what the next step was. Both women sat in front of their plates of spaghetti staring at it seemingly lost in their thoughts. Arizona was terrified she just might kill them both with her cooking while Callie was thinking that she wasn't really hungry. She picked up her fork twirling the spaghetti around it before placing a wary bite into her mouth. Arizona waited for the verdict with bated breath. Callie chewed thoughtfully comparing Arizona's end result with the memory of her mother's.

"It is just like my mom's," she said a little surprised

"Really?" Arizona asked with skepticism

"Yes, try it yourself." Much to Arizona's chagrin, it was very good. She held up her hand for a victory high five.

"See," she told Callie, "I told you we work well together." Both women ate the meal making small talk. Arizona felt a sudden shift in Callie's mood because she never looked up from her plate and answered her questions in monosyllables.

"What is it Callie," Arizona asked placing her left hand over Callie's right hands in support.

"When are you going back to work?" she asked quietly.

"I asked Chief Webber if I could have off until Monday," Arizona said stroking her thumb over Callie's knuckles.

"Does he...know?" she asked almost as if she was afraid of the answer.

"Yes, he does," Arizona answered honestly, "He said to take all the time that you need.."

"Who else," Callie abruptly interrupted.

"No one other than Lucy and her staff," Arizona told her.

"Good, that's good. You know how that place can be," Callie responded pushing her half eaten plate away from her. Callie got up to pour herself another glass of wine with Arizona mentally taking note.

"Don't worry," Callie said noticing the unvoiced concern written in Arizona's worried blue eyes, "I'm not going to get drunk, I just want to relax."

"Okay," replied Arizona grateful that she didn't have to be the first one to broach that subject.

"I'm going to take a bath," Callie indicated taking her glass of wine with her.

"I'll get the dishes," said Arizona.

"Tomorrow you are making us meat loaf and real mashed potatoes," Callie called over her shoulder before shutting the bedroom door behind her.

"Can't wait for tomorrow," Arizona said to herself hoping that tomorrow went better than today and at the same time dreading that the fact that it could be worse than today. If the experts were right, and grief came in stages, Arizona knew that Callie had touched briefly on denial, depression, and anger. Arizona was slightly worried about the anger stage given Callie's hot temperament. She knew that it would be in the anger stage, that things would get the worst and Callie would probably do or say anything to push her away. She tried to think of the possible things that Callie would say or could do but the possibilities were endless. Arizona knew she would be in for the fight of her life. She knew how to fight physical battles but emotional ones were not common to her given her propensity for bailing out when things get hard. She figured an emotional war couldn't be that much different than a physical one so she would shore up her emotional defenses and put on her big girl panties. Callie was at stake, and that made the desire to win all that more meaningful.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Less Than**

Arizona took her time with the dishes wanting to give Callie plenty of time to herself in case that is what she needed. Once she was satisfied that everything was ship shape in the kitchen did Arizona follow Callie into the bedroom. Callie was out of the tub already laying in the bed reading _The National Enquirer_.

"I see you found phase two of Operation Keep Callie Occupied," Arizona said pointing to the pile of magazine stacked on Callie's nightstand.

"What? This! Ha!" Callie laughed drily, "Hey did you know Meredith Baxter Birney from _Family Ties_ was gay?"

"Why no I didn't," Arizona replied in mock astonishment, "But if it is in _The National Enquirer_ it _must _be true," Arizona continued in false seriousness before heading into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. She came back out minutes later to get changed into her night clothes. She removed her jeans, t-shirt, and bra standing clad in only her panties. Looking up, she caught Callie gazing at her in the mirror. Her brown eyes were glossed over with something familiar; desire and yet something so completely foreign that Arizona could not find a name for it, yet.

"What?" Arizona asked modestly.

"Nothing," Callie said her voice thick, "You're so beautiful, Arizona," she finished in awe like she was just seeing her for the first time. Considering everything that had transpired in the last day or so, maybe she was. Arizona blushed at the compliment while her body started responding to the seduction dripping off of Callie's golden tongue. She quickly puled on a tank top, and boxer short to sleep in causing Callie to sigh at having her view of the semi-clad woman obstructed. Arizona extinguished the light before climbing into bed. She was laying on her back close to Callie letting her body relax. She felt a dip in the mattress when Callie rolled onto her side placing her arm around her midsection. Callie's hand didn't stay idle for long. She began stroking Arizona's side from the side of her breast down to her hip leaving a trail of goosebumps in her wake causing Arizona's breath to hitch in her throat while her heart began beating erratically. Sensing Arizona's physical response to her actions, Callie nuzzled her nose sensually against Arizona's neck blazing a hot trail of kisses along Arizona's graceful neck, across her chin to her lips. Callie didn't bother asking for permission opting to take what she wanted from Arizona instead kissing her hard. Arizona responded almost instinctively growling into Callie's mouth as Callie's smooth, hot tongue invade her mouth. Arizona grabbed a fistful of Callie's hair in her hands using body language to spur Callie's actions on. Callie's hand naked its way under the em of Arizona's shirt honing in on Arizona's erogenous zone. Callie toyed with Arizona's breast squeezing it lightly and running the flat of her palm against her nipple. Arizona gasped as the sensation arching her back into Callie's hand. Their kissing became wild and frantic both women nipping and sucking like two wild animals. Callie, encouraged by Arizona's responses began inching her way down until she was at the waist band of Arizona's boxers. In an instant, Arizona became aware. It was like someone running their finger nails down a chalk board, you can't help but become aware. She became aware of two things. One, the direction of Callie's hand, while she really wanted her to go further, Arizona couldn't allow it. Secondly, they shouldn't be doing this right now.

"Wait," Arizona said breathlessly.

"Why," Callie said swiping her tongue across Arizona's collar bone, "This could be phase three in Operation Keep Callie Occupied," she told Arizona huskily.

"I can't," Arizona protested immediately sensing Callie's reaction as she tensed up against her.

"Why not, Arizona?" Callie questioned tersely anger mounting in her voice.

"Because..." Arizona drawled out trying to buy herself some time.

"Is there something wrong with me," Callie asked accusingly, "I mean why would you want to have sex with me. After all, I'm defective, right?" she spat contemptuously. Little moments, big moments, they are what define us as a individual and as a part of the human race. In that moment, it dawned on Arizona what the foreign look from a few minutes ago was. Arizona realized that somewhere lurking insidiously inside of Callie was the irrational insecurity that having a miscarriage somehow made her less. Less of a woman and now she was trying to use sex as a way to validate her own worthiness as a woman.

"Oh Callie," Arizona said softly, "I want you," she said reassuringly.

"Whatever, Arizona. Let's just forget about it and go to sleep," she said not convinced trying to remove her hand out of Arizona's grasp. Arizona held steadfast onto Callie's hand moving it from her waist up to her heart.

"Do you feel that?" she quietly asked.

"Yeah," Callie responded in such a way that was more like, "And?"

"Do you feel how hard it is beating and how fast it is racing?" Arizona continued trying to explain, "It is because I want you. I really, really _want_ you."

"Then why won't you let me touch you?" Callie demanded causing Arizona to look away from the slight accusation held in Callie's intense brown stare.

"Arizona?" Unable to meet Callie's eyes, Arizona sighed heavily.

"I just started my period," she said expelling it all in one quick breath, "Not to mention you just had surgery and aren't ready for the emotional implications having sex would bring up right now," she thought to herself.

"Oh," Callie said slightly relieved.

"Calliope," Arizona began her voice dropping an octave, "You are so beautiful and so damn sexy that not one single, solitary day goes by that I don't want to touch you, that I don't want to make love to you," she explained, "Having a miscarriage isn't going to change that and I'd be glad to show you how much I mean it in say...about six to eight days," Callie seeming somewhat appeased smiled slightly nodding her head in response to Arizona's proposition. Arizona placed Callie's hand back across her waist.

"Now, let's get some sleep Callie and no funny business. You got that?" She playfully admonished.

"Yes ma'am," Callie replied settling herself in snugly against Arizona's side.

"Good night, Calliope. I love you," she said softly to the woman lying beside her in the dark.

"I love you, too Arizona. Good night," Callie replied in kind before allowing herself to relax enough to drift off into sleep. Just like the night before, Arizona kept watch over Callie like a shepherd watches over his flock until she went to sleep allowing herself to fall under once she was certain Callie, her lone sheep, was no longer awake.

**AN: So I originally thought that chapter 10 would be my last wrapping everything up in it. However, I wrote this and decided to post it. I think writing this smaller chapter and getting it up helped take a lot of pressure I had put on myself to get it done. I like it. What do you guys think? Thank you to all my readers and the ones who review. It's all for you.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: I Dream of Angels**

Arizona was jarred out of her sleep by an errant arm smacking her soundly across the bridge of her nose bringing sharp tears to her eyes. She quickly shook off the stabbing pains in order to help Callie who was in the vicious clutches of another extremely nasty nightmare trapped much like a fly trapped in the web of a spider. Once again, she gently trapped Callie's limbs against her while whispering calming words until the tormented woman quieted down. Even though it cut into her sleep, Arizona stayed awake watching, waiting only allowing herself to fall asleep once she was certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that Callie was finally resting peacefully. Despite her lack of sleep, Arizona woke before Callie intrinsically sensing Callie was about to wake. Arizona waited and observed. Callie's eyes fluttered beneath her eyelids, a definite indication she was about to wake. Arizona held her breath in anticipation. Callie's eyes snapped open while Arizona watched as an array of emotions crossed Callie's countenance from eyes widening in shock, to tears pooling in grief, to pursing her lips in anger, back to shock and grief again. All in the span of five seconds. As quickly as it arrived, it was shut down behind a steel veil, giving Callie a blank look. Arizona discreetly released her breath in relief because Callie didn't have to go through the pain of losing her baby for the third time. Relief because she didn't have to bear witness to it again as well.

"Hey," Arizona whispered softly, a trepid smile ghosting her lips.

"Hey," Callie rasped her voice scratchy from sleep.

"What do you feel like today?" Arizona wondered. Callie rolled over to her back stretching her arms languidly over her head.

"Right now," she yawned in question.

"Right now," Arizona emphasized.

"I kinda...feel...like...taking a shower," Callie answered while searching her mind for an answer.

"Oooh, shower sounds great," Arizona commented supportively.

"You can shower with me, you know for the sake of conserving water," Callie said getting up out of the bed.

"Oh well then of course I'll do my part for our Mother Earth," Arizona responded cheekily following Callie into the bathroom. Callie turned on the water to the shower allowing it sufficient time to heat up. Arizona stropped to her bare skin. She held the shower door open for Callie gesturing for her to enter first. Callie stepped under the cleansing spray soaking her entire body. Pushing her hair out of her eyes, she stepped away from the water allowing Arizona access to the spray. Callie grabbed the shampoo squirting a generous amount into the palm of her hands. Arizona was still under the spray with her back towards Callie. When she stepped back, Callie was ready with the shampoo using her nimble fingers to work the shampoo into a lather. Arizona leaned appreciatively into Callie's touch.

"Arizona," Callie said in a question.

"Hmm," Arizona responded offhandedly.

"In case I forget to tell you, or things get," Callie paused apprehensively, "Ugly, I just want you to know that I am so grateful, so grateful to have you to lean on through all of this." Callie nudged Arizona forward so that she could wash the shampoo out of her hair.

"I don't think I could do this without you," she said dead serious.

"Don't worry, Calliope," Arizona said reassuringly, "You won't have to," she said picking up Callie's shampoo treating her scalp to the same luxurious treatment her own scalp received.

"Mmm nice," Callie commented.

"Right," Arizona agreed moving aside to let Callie rinse of her hair. Both women made quick work out of the rest of the shower before the hot water supply deleted itself. They dried off and dressed comfortably for another day in. Callie didn't want a big fuss for breakfast settling for cereal with a cut up banana. After cleaning the dishes, Callie got a pen and paper.

"What are you doing?" Arizona asked suspiciously.

"Making you a list of things you'll need to get at the store so you can cook us dinner again," Callie answered, "Did you forget already?" she chastised playfully.

"Nope, I didn't forget but I was hoping you did," Arizona answered truthfully.

"Nice try," Callie said tearing the paper off the pad with a resounding rip before handing it to Arizona.

"When Mark gets here," she began but before she could finish there was a brisk rapping at the door followed by Mark entering the apartment.

"Did I hear someone say my name?" Mark questioned non-nonchalantly.

"Ah, speak of the devil,"Arizona smiled winking at Callie before grabbing her purse and keys off the counter.

"The list," Callie reminded Arizona pointing to it on the counter.

"Ah, yes the list," Arizona said grabbing it off the counter and stealing a quick kiss from Callie on her way out.

"See ya later," Mark shouted grabbing the remote and plopping unceremoniously down on the couch.

Arizona took her time at the store. She didn't feel the gut wrenching urgency to get home to protect Callie. She knew Callie had a rough night and rough morning but she honestly felt like Callie seemed better this morning. She was like a sailor at sea peacefully making her way across the ocean of life totally ignorant of the hurricane bearing down in her direction. Callie's seemingly good mood was merely the calm before the storm.

The next few days and nights passed by routinely. Callie and Arizona would wake up, shower, get dressed and eat breakfast. Mark continued to show up shortly after breakfast allowing Arizona time to shop for her cooking lessons. She added meatloaf, lasagna, and chili to her recipe repertoire. They would clean up, cuddly on the couch before going to sleep. Callie's nightmares continued like clock work as well. It got to the point where Arizona could almost pinpoint them to about three to four hours after Callie fell asleep. Arizona couldn't sleep knowing that Callie was being tortured in relentlessly in her sleep. She would wait, and each night she lovingly held Callie speaking to her about anything and everything until she calmed down. Then Arizona would catch a couple hours of sleep. Being a surgeon, Arizona was used to grabbing sleep when she could but after four days of limited or interrupted sleep, the deprivation was beginning to take its toll.

It was Sunday night, the last night before Arizona was scheduled to return to work. She was secretly glad to be able to get back to her job, the career that she loved. She was also glad that she would have some time away from Callie. This thought consumed her with guilt. Callie's mood slowly spiraled downward as the day turned into night. Realistically, she knew Arizona couldn't remain by her side every second of the day but Callie also felt like she would fall to pieces the second she didn't have Arizona keeping her together. After about 20 deep sighs, Arizona looked at Callie expectantly arching her eyebrows in question.

"I'm scared, Arizona."

"I don't have to go back to work," Arizona said moving closer to Callie so that there bodies were connected from shoulder to knee.

"You can't protect me forever," Callie replied entwining her fingers with Arizona's.

"Doesn't mean I don't want to," Arizona said bringing their hands up to her mouth to plant a kiss on the back of Callie's hand.

"I know, and I love you for it but I need to face it," she said looking at the hands, "Life can't be lived as a distraction. I would miss out on so much." Arizona tugged on their joined hands to get Callie's attention.

"Don't feel like you have to go through this alone. I'm here. I am not going anywhere. I don't always have the words to express my feelings but you mean the world to me, and I am _not _going anywhere," Arizona said completely serious.

"Thank you," Callie replied.

"You're welcome," Arizona responded automatically. This time it was Callie that tugged on their hands focusing Arizona's attention on what she was saying.

"No, Arizona, thank you," she restated meeting Arizona's eyes trying to say with her eyes the words that could not come out of her mouth.

"You are welcome," Arizona said softly maintaining eye contact with Callie accepting the non-verbal communication being offered.

"Let's go to bed, baby," Callie said being the first one to break the spell woven around them, "I want to fall asleep in your arms."

"Okay," she said getting up extending her hand to Callie, "You'll be in my arms all night."

Callie and Arizona were laying tranquilly in one another's embrace. Arizona tried to quell the concerns she had about Callie's nightmares and just be in the moment. She was so busy trying to deal with them, that she neglected to figure out what they were about. She had a pretty good idea but the human subconscious can be a very tricky mistress. Any first year psych student knows dreams are just the up of an iceberg. The real dangers lay in much deep, much darker waters.

"Callie," she started, "You've been having nightmares since the miscarriage."

"Yeah," Callie answered tensing up involuntarily.

"Do you want to tell me what they are about?"

"No, not really," she said evasively, "Is that a problem?"

"No," Arizona sighed not wanting to push, "It just might help," she said encouragingly.

"Maybe," Callie answered noncommittally exaggerating a yawn in the hopes that the subject would be dropped. Arizona took the hint and decided not to push any harder. For now. She would give Callie the chance to get there on her own but Arizona definitely wasn't above a little school yard pushing. She'd resort to it she she had do. It all hinged on Callie.

Callie was more restless than usual. So much so that Arizona was more than a little gun shy about leaving for work. She was dragging her feet to the point that she was on the verge of being grossly late for work

"Are you going to be alright," Arizona asked Callie for the 100th time.

"Yes, Arizona," Callie replied monotonously.

"If you need me," Arizona started.

"I'll call you," Callie finished.

"You know I don't have to..."

"Arizona," Callie said lovingly exasperated, "Go be awesome."

"Well," she drawled almost convinced, "If you're sure."

"I'm sure!" Callie emphasized.

"Alright," she said walking to the door. She took one last look at Callie before opening the door. Callie made a shooing motion to Arizona. Arizona shrugged her shoulders quietly shutting the door behind her knowing that if she hesitated any longer, she would find a million and one reason to stay home with Callie. Rationally, she knew that she needed to give Callie a chance to recover on her own. She needed to build up her confidence and believe that she was the strong person everyone knew her to be. Rationally, she also knew she needed time away from Callie so that she could have an emotional break to recharge herself. She needed to take care of herself so that she could take the best possible care of Callie. So, rationally yes Arizona was looking forward to going back to work. Emotionally, she felt a little bit guilty.

At work, to alleviate her feelings of guilt, Arizona totally immersed herself getting reacquainted with all the children on the pediatric ward. When she wasn't busy on her own ward, she helped Bailey out in the pit. Lastly, she updated all of her charts. She made it through her entire shift not hearing a single word from Callie. She didn't know if that was a good thing or not. She had mixed feelings on the walk home. She vacillated between hope that Callie continued making forward progress and trepidation that she may have had a set back while she was at work. Arizona loved certainty, she thrived on being on knowledge and control. The fact that she had no clue what she was about to walk into filled her with dread. She swallowed down the lump in her throat reaching for the door with a trembling hand mentally preparing herself for the worst. What was she going to find?

**AN: So sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I am seriously fried, and can't wait for my vacation which starts this Thursday. We're going to the house of mouse (Disney). To all my loyal readers, thank you so much for your continued support, and don't worry, I am committed to this story, and will finish once I get back home! Thank you for your reviews...they feed my heart.**


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note: I am not trying to tease anyone by writing this note. So, if you got your hopes up that I had update, my apologies. However, the next chapter is almost finished and will be up before Friday. Thank you for all your support, and I apologize for the delays.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12: (I Dream of Angels)**

**But I Live With Demons**

**AN: I'm not a doctor, whatsoever...Just saying. Thanks for your patience. I'm late, I know but if it is any consolation, this chapter is soo long. Sorry for typos. I was trying to get this out quickly. Feed the bard, please.**

**Aside: Do you think kid's today will ever comprehend how excruciating it is to hear finger nails scrapped against a black board? **

Arizona paused deliberately outside of the apartment she shared with Callie. Pressing her ear softly against the door, she listened intently for any indication of what might be going on behind the door until she realized that old Mrs. Jenkins from down the hall was staring at her with a frown upon her lips.

"Better go in before someone calls the cops on me," she thought to herself. Like ripping a band-aid off a wound, Arizona swung the door open gritting her teeth waiting for the pain of what was inside to hit her. When it didn't come, Arizona slowly opened her eyes to survey the scene before her. Callie was staring at her with one eyebrow arched in question.

"Are you going to come in," she asked.

"Uh, yeah," Arizona said feigning nonchalance, closing the door soundly behind her. She entered the apartment further as if inspecting a crime scene. There was empty wings containers and pizza boxes, completed by dirty dishes in the sink, Callie was wearing the same clothes she had on when Arizona left but everything, more importantly, everyone seemed intact.

"I told you I would be okay," Callie said perceptively.

"I wasn't worried," she answered pretending indifference.

"Yes, you were," Callie countered.

"Okay, okay," she hastily recanted her earlier statement, "I was worried...a lot," she said plopping unceremoniously next to Callie on the couch. Callie shifted on the couch allowing Arizona ample space to unwind.

"My day was..." she paused searching her brain for the right word, "Ambivalent," she finally came up with.

"Ambivalent," Arizona asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," she responded, "Not good but not bad either," Callie realized a little bit surprised by the epiphany.

"I missed you, but huh yeah," she finished.

"What did you do?" Arizona asked genuinely interested in how her counter part spent her day.

"You are looking at it," Callie answered indicating that she spent the entire day on the couch in her jammies, "I mean Mark came over for awhile before his shift, we ordered pizza we watched cheesy daytime television, then talk shows," she spoke as if checking off a list.  
"That's basically it," she finished.

"Well good," Arizona commented supportively choosing to ignore the dirty dishes, and half eaten cartons of food littering the counter, "I'm glad you got a chance to rest," she said brightly before extricating herself off the couch but not before picking up the two dirty cups left on the coffee table. She took the cups over to the sink, rinsed them out, and loaded them into the dishwasher along with the soiled plates and silverware. She broke down the pizza boxes for recycling only to realize the recycling and the trash needed to be disposed of. With a soft sigh, she bagged up the garbage taking it to the chute at the end of the hall. She returned to the apartment without Callie ever realizing she was even gone. Callie was staring intently at the TV. Arizona called Callie's name but it landed on deaf ears. She resorted to blocking the screen, her hand resting expectantly on her hips. Callie didn't register at first, lost in her own world. She snapped out of it to find Arizona scrutinizing her.

"Huh, what?" she responded in a semi-daze.

"I said," Arizona answered placing emphasis on the word said, "I'm going to take a shower, and then go to bed because I have got to be at the hospital at 6am to get rounds and pre-ops done before my staff meeting with Stark."

"Yeah, okay," Callie said dismissively.

"Are you coming to bed," she asked.

Callie averted her gaze to the remote in her she was gripping in her hands, "No, you know what? I am not really tired," she replied evasively. Arizona narrowed her eyes while pursing her lips in suspicion. She weighed her options on whether to call Callie out but decided to table that discussion for another day. Arizona bid Callie good night by blowing her a kiss. Once Arizona was in the bathroom with the water audibly running did Callie release the tight breath she'd been holding in. She had never been a good liar and was so relieved that Arizona didn't call her on her bluff. She knew if Arizona did, she would cave in spilling her guts about the turn her twisted nightmares had turned. Callie wasn't oblivious to the concern Arizona attempted to keep under wraps. She saw it in Arizona's eyes each time Callie caught her girlfriend looking at her when she thought Callie wasn't paying attention. She was reticent to burden Arizona further. So, Callie channel surfed until she was certain Arizona would be sound asleep. Only then did she sneak off to her bed.

The next morning, Arizona rose of of bed careful to not wake Callie. She attempted to stay awake until Callie came to bed but being back at work after having some time off took its toll on her in the form of exhaustion. Arizona made quick work of brushing her teeth and hair as well as applying minimal make up to her face. Attempting to dress in the dark was not an easy feat earning her a stubbed toe for her efforts. Arizona's cries of pain rustled the slumbering brunette.

"Arizona," Callie mumbled.

"Go back to sleep baby," Arizona whispered against her cheek kissing her tenderly.

"Made some coffee for you," she murmured sleepily.

"Thank you," Arizona replied nuzzling her nose into the side of Callie's bare neck, "I'll see you after my shift."

"Kay," Callie answered with a sleepy yawn. Arizona made her way out to the kitchen a smile spreading across her face at Callie's thoughtfulness. After making her coffee to her specifications, Arizona carried her steaming travel mug out of the house to the hospital. Part of the reason she needed to get the morning rounds and pre-ops completed was because she had the droll and time consuming bi-weekly staff meeting that she was required to be at since she was an attending. It was especially torturous because it was directed by Stark who lived to talk for the sake of hearing his own voice and asserting his might over the pediatric department. She would rather swallow razor blades than have to listen to Stark expel his hot air in the name of medicine but, it was her duty. Arizona would never shirk her responsibilities no matter how irksome they proved to be.

When she arrived on the ward, Karev was waiting for her with a wide eyed bunch of interns.

"Good morning," she said to Karev smiling cheerfully at him before addressing the interns.

"Alright people," she said in her best drill sergeant imitation, "What do we got this morning?" For each intern, there was a patient to present. The majority of the cases were routine surgeries like an appendectomy, spleenectomy, as well as a semi-complicated bowel reconstruction in a three year old little boy. Casting sideways glances at Karev throughout the presentations, she noticed the usually stoic doctor fidgeting, and fighting to keep a grin off his face. If she didn't know better, she would think that the serious Karev was excited about something.

"Out with it Karev," she ordered, "You look like the cat that swallowed the canary," she said after scattering the interns to complete the various diagnostic tests. He handed her a thick manila folder.

"Follow me," he said motioning her toward the NICU. Pressing the button to the ward, he allowed Arizona to pass in front of him. Once in the ward, he began presenting the case to his boss as they traversed the corridor of the NICU.

"Katherine Collins, eight days old. Parents Cassandra and Sawyer brought her in earlier this morning because she was cyanotic in the area around her mouth, she's been lethargic and fatigued, and hasn't been feeding very well," Karev paused waiting for Arizona's curiosity to pique.

"Go on," she asked interested.

"Upon physical exam, I heard a heart murmur," he informed, "So I ordered an ECG, MRI, and just to be certain, a chest x-ray," he finished with self satisfaction. Arizona chewed her bottom lip mulling over the information presented.

"What are you thinking Doctor Karev?"

"Truncus arteriosis," he said as if handing out a prize to a lucky winner. Arizona looked sharply at him mentally going over the diagnostic criteria again.

"Let me see the scans," she commanded knowing the symptoms were a match so far. She studied the scans and films intently for about 10 minutes.

"Page Teddy and consult with her while I meet with Stark," she said the man's name with distaste, "It looks like you are right," she confirmed.

"Yes!" Alex exclaimed pumping his fist into the air victoriously.

"Don't get too excited yet," she warned, "This is a tricky surgery at best. It is going to take a lot of time and skill to separate each artery," she explained.

"Yeah but you've done this before right?" he asked suddenly concerned for the eight day old little girl whose life hung in the balance.

"Yup," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders, "Maybe once or twice." She glanced down at her wrist.

"Ooh, I gotta go, I am going to be late," she said heading out of the NICU turning around before she got to the doors, "Oh if Teddy confirms it, order a heart catheterization so we can begin mapping out our surgical strategy."

During the tedious staffing meeting, Arizona's attention kept wandering from the intense surgery she was going to perform, and the excitement she felt at the challenge to feelings of guilt for not having thought of her grieving girlfriend sooner. She made a silent vow to call her as soon as she got a spare second. Satisfied for the moment, Arizona refocused her attention on the meeting only to discover that every set of eyes was looking at her expectantly. She didn't let it face her jumping right into present her case load to the group including the truncus arteriosis. She outlined the course of treatment for each not really caring whether Stark approved but she had to follow protocol. Stark gave his stamp of approval dismissing them to continue working. Arizona darted out of the room like a hummingbird eager to see what came of the consult with Teddy. She couldn't find Karev, but bumped into Teddy who confirmed the potentially deadly diagnosis.

"Alex is doing the heart cath now so we can see how bad her condition is," Teddy explained after Arizona asked about Karev's location.

"I have an spleenectomy in 20 minutes, an appendectomy this after noon, and then an appointment for a mani and pedi after that. Wanna meet up after to strategize?"

"Are you sure you have time to fit me into your busy schedule," Teddy asked sarcastically, "I mean I wouldn't want to get in the way of your spa time," she finished drolly.

"Not for me, Teddy," Arizona looked at her friend like she lost her mind, "It's for Anna," Arizona finished expecting Teddy to understand.

"Anna?" she asked curiosity elevated.

"Yeah," she explained, "She has leukemia, just went through her third round of chemo. She is 13 and finally lost her hair."

"And a manicure and pedicure will help how?"

"She's 13 Teddy," Arizona said in exasperation, "She's thirteen AND bald," Arizona finished spelling out the situation for her friend.

"Ooh good point," Teddy agreed finally catching on, "It's hard enough being 13, let alone being bald."

"Yup, so I'm gonna bring her an array of scarves, hats, bandannas and such so she can figure out her style, then I am going to let her choose from my amazing assortment of nail polish, and for the grand finale I am going to paint her fingers and toes." Teddy shook her head smiling at the enthusiastic doctor.

"Around 6pm?" she asked still chuckling.

"I'll meet you in the consult room by the imaging labs that way we can readily access any scans we might need." After parting from Teddy, Arizona stopped in the nearest on call room to phone Callie. She knew this might be her only opportunity to see how Callie's day was progressing. Her call was answered on the third ring.

"Hello," Mark answered in his distinct baritone.

"Uh, Mark?" Arizona said a little discombobulated at Mark answering their phone.

"Oh, hey Arizona," he replied in greeting.

"Is Callie there?" she asked trying to squelch the insecurities that tended to surface around Mark.

"Yes, hang on," he said putting the phone down on the counter with a loud thud reverberating into the ear piece of Arizona's phone. She could hear Mark calling for Callie in the background.

"Cal, it's your woman,"Mark called his voice in the background, "I don't know what she wants. Why don't you asked her," Arizona continued listening to the one sided conversation.

"Hello, Arizona,"

"Hey you," Arizona responded warmly trying to diffuse Callie's unwarranted irritation, "I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"No not really," Callie snorted, "Not unless you count me kicking Mark's butt in trivial pursuit."

"No it doesn't really count since an eight year old could wipe the floor with Mark," Callie chuckled heartily at the comments.

"He'd never get any right if there wasn't the science category," Callie laughed. Arizona chimed in with the laughter.

"I can hear you," Mark complained loudly enough for Arizona to hear. Their laughter quickly subsided followed by an awkward pause.

"Busy today," Callie inquired trying to fill the uncomfortable silence.

"Yes and it is going to be a long one," Arizona sighed heavily, "I just eanted to let you know that I will probably be home late," Arizona explained to Callie with an under current of worry creeping into her words.

"I'll be alright, Arizona," Callie assured the worried woman.

"Who's worried?" she quipped back lightly.

"Go be amazing, Arizona," Callie encouraged, "I can manage myself for the rest of the day."

"Okay, but Callie," she paused trepidation and vulnerability slinking into her throat choking her words a bit, "You do know that you are a big part of what makes me so amazing, right?" There was a sharp intake of breath on Callie's end and a slight hesitation.

"Go," Callie said softly.

"Bye," Arizona said in parting waiting for Callie to hang up.

"Go," Callie repeated neither wanted to be the first to hang up.

"One the count of three?" Arizona suggested. Callie laughed. Her laughter like the serenade of the night's song to Arizona.

"Bye you goof," she said hanging up her phone. Arizona left for the surgical unit with a glow on her face and a smile embedded into her heart.

She rocked her first surgery. She was in such a good mood that she let one of the interns watching actually remove the spleen and finish up the surgery. Normally, this particular intern couldn't find his way out of a paper bag but the interaction with Callie left her with a warm, fuzzy glow that seeped onto the world around her. After scrubbing out, she grabbed a quick lunch eating in her office so she could research anything and everything having to do with truncus arterioris. She made a mental to to have Bailey scrub in as well. She wanted the best general surgeon in the hospital and nobody had yet to steal that title away from Bailey. Before she knew it, Arizona was due back in surgery. Her second surgery was stellar as well but before she could even scrub out, Dr. Webber burst into the OR announcing a massive car crash with multiple injuries. Arizona quickly shed her soiled surgical gear donning a sterile pair quickly making her way to the ambulance bay to await the onslaught. She could hear the shrill sounds of multiple ambulances, their arrival imminent. Hunt calmly took charge giving orders to the awaiting doctor's. Luckily, there were no critical pediatric cases but that didn't mean Arizona's job was done. In dire situations like this one, every warm body was necessary and she assisted wherever there was a need. Three hours later, every patient had been responded to. Arizona finished scrubbing out glancing quickly at the clock. She was late for Anna which meant she would be late for the strategy session with Teddy. Realistically, Anna could wait but Arizona was honor bound to Anna by her word, and that wasn't something she was ever going to go back on especially not to a young girl. After stopping by her office to grab her girlie gear, and sending a quick text to Teddy, Arizona made her way to Anna's room. Exhausted as she was, Anna's infectious smile and sincere happiness at her arrival chased away the fatigue weighing down her muscles.

"Dr. Robbins," Anna squealed delightfully, "You're late!" she admonished.

"I know, but look," Arizona removed a pirate girl bandanna from her coat brandishing it before the bed-ridden girl, "What do you think?" Anna took the girl offered turning it over in her hand looking at it in great detail.

"I love it!" she gushed.

"Yeah?" Arizona questioned.

"Yeah!" Anna said arranging it so she could tie it around her head, "How do I look?"

"Hmm," Arizona contemplated, "I think it is missing something."

"Like what?"Anna questioned curiously. Arizona extricated numerous hues of nail polish from her pockets as well. Anna clapped her hands in glee before perusing each bottle intent on making the most fashionable choice. She settled on perfectly pink, raucous red, and black as night. Arizona got to work chatting amiable with the young girl on current events like the latest spotting of Justin canoodling with Selena. Anna insisted on returning the favor in kind leaving Arizona sporting red, pink, and black alternately on each of her ten fingers. She headed to her meeting feeling the buzz of Anna wearing thin. She walked into the consult room to see Teddy and Alex with their heads close together in thought. Alex noticed her first nodding his head in greeting.

"Hey guys, what did I miss?"

"Only everything," Alex quipped. Teddy rolled her eyes at the obnoxious young man.

"Actually, we have a solid game plan," Teddy said catching Arizona up to speed, "You wanna take a look?" Arizona reviewed the surgical plan mapped out electronically on the smart screen finding no flaws with the strategy.

"Now that's over with, let's go tell the parents," she suggested. Since it was Alex's discovery, she let him take the lead only fielding questions when needed. Since he seemed to have everything in order, Teddy and Arizona left him in confidence. Arizona and Teddy were changing in the locker room when Arizona's stomach erupted loudly in protest of being neglected for so long.

"Hey Teddy, you want to grab a quick bite to eat?" Arizona suggested. Teddy paused trying to think of the last time she had nourishment.

"I could eat," she replied.

"Great, let's go, I am starved," Arizona said slinging her purse over her shoulder.

"I heard," Teddy dead panned. After eating a hearty meal at a nearby diner, Arizona parted ways heading home. Exhaustion returned with a fierceness and all she wanted to do is crawl into bed. It was a little after eleven when she got home. The apartment was near dark with only a light in the kitchen on to guide her way. It was enough light, however, for her to see that dirty dishes once again piled up in the sink complete with trash littering the counters. This time it was Chinese take-out containers. Too tired to deal with the mess, she growled in frustration. She went into her room finding Callie asleep. Only when Arizona shut the bathroom door did Callie dare open her eyes. Arizona came out moments later climbing wearily into bed. Callie remained still as Arizona made her way over to her side of the bed spooning into her with her left hand draped around her waist. Callie was instantly flooded with guilt. She didn't know why she pretended to be asleep or what she hoped to avoid. She was about to come clean, but stopped when she heard Arizona's light snores. Callie knew she only snored when she was really tired. She laced her fingers through the hand draped across her waist willing herself to relax enough to sleep. The heat from Arizona, the weight of her hand, and the self talk paid off making Callie drift off into slumber.

Arizona slept soundly through the night. Callie didn't wake up etiehr but she went from one dream to the next. The girls were jarred from sleep by the loud chirp of a pager followed by the shrill ring of their home phone, and finally Arizona's ring tone for Teddy "Hey Soul Sister." Callie sprang from the bed like a panther picking up the house phone immediately alarmed because someone apparently was phone stalking one of them. Arizona fumbled out of bed grabbing her phone off the dresser while checking her pager.

"Hello," Arizona answered in a voice thick with sleep, "Oh shit!" she exclaimed to the voice on the other end of the phone. She could hear Callie talking to someone as well.

"Teddy, I am so sorry. I forgot to set the alarm," she explained apologetically, "I'll be there in 15 minutes." Hanging up her phone, Arizona scrambled looking for something to put on.

"That was Alex. He said Katherine's surgery was at 8am, and it is 8:30 am," Callie said, "He said you're late and to move your ass."

"Have you seen my white, cotton bra with the little pink flowers on it?" she asked frantically searching for something to wear.

"It is probably in the dirty clothes hamper," Callie ventured a guess. Arizona slammed her dresser shut immediately filled with tension. She bit back the sharp comment deciding to hold her tongue so she didn't upset Callie. Inhaling deeply to quell her frustration, Arizona grabbed a matching bra and panty set more suited for the bedroom than an operating room. She also fished out a spare set of scrubs she kept in an overnight bag. She quickly put them on making her way to the bathroom. She emerged five minuets later with her teeth and face clean. Callie was in the kitchen when Arizona whizzed out of the bedroom. In her haste, Arizona failed to notice Callie's attire. She stopped dead in her tracks when she realized Callie was still wearing the same clothes she had on two days ago only now her shirt was adorned with a variety of stains. If Callie was still wearing the same clothes from two days ago, that probably meant she hadn't showered either. Arizona couldn't deal with it now.

"Gotta go, big surgery and I am very late,"Arizona said in a rush.

"Okay," Callie replied, "See you later."

"See you later," she answered back before closing the door behind her. Arizona got to the hospital in 15 minutes. Everyone was waiting for her in the operating room. Once she was ready, the nurse wheeled in a screaming infant and the anesthesiologist made quick work of putting the baby under. Once sedated, Bailey intubated her and the surgery was under way. It was a harrowing procedure. It was worse that originally thought. Teddy had to separate the arteries from one another which was like trying to take each strand of fiber from a single piece of yarn. It was touch and go for awhile. Katherine's heart gave out towards the end. Bailey opted to close her up, and try again another day but Arizona vetoed that idea knowing that the little baby wouldn't be strong enough for a second surgery. Thirteen and a half hours later, Katherine was in critical but stable condition. Alex went to update the parents and give them a chance to see their child. Arizona and Teddy crashed in an on call room. They got a couple of hours in before Alex paged them to the NICU. Alex looked at them from the chair that he was sitting in holding the baby. Alex looked cautious but optimistic.

"She's awake!" he shouted quietly. Both attendings performed an exam of the little girl.

"How was she when she woke up?" Teddy asked removing her stethoscope from her ears.

"She was not a happy camper," Alex informed, "We got a feeding line established. She took two ounces. I gave her a pacifier to stimulate sucking, and she's been much better. Her O2 sats are normal, and her skin is good."

"What's next Karev?" Arizona grilled the younger surgeon.

"Monitor for infections while she heals," he supplied softly because the baby was drifting off to sleep.

"You did good, Karev. Get some rest, you've earned it," Arizona congratulated.

"I'll just make sure she stays asleep for awhile and then put her down," he said. Arizona laughed at her friend. She knew she'd find him in the morning sound asleep with baby Katherine tucked into his warm chest. There was no point going home since baby Katherine was not in the clear. Plus it was really late so she sent a quick text home to Callie letting her know what was going on. Callie responded understandingly. Arizona went back to bed in the on-call room. She awoke around 7am to the alarm on her cell phone going off. She awoke feeling refreshed but with a sore back however, it wasn't anything a hot shower and some food couldn't solve. After eating, she met Karev in the NICU to begin rounds starting with Katherine. Alex looked tired but happy.

"How's our girl, Karev?" she asked optimistically.

"She is doing great," he began, "We're keeping her pain meds regulated for now while continue to monitor for infection."

"Good," she waited for him to continue.

"She fed every two to three hours, she peed three times and had a crappy diaper."

"Woohoo for the poo poo!" Arizona shouted with glee, "You're doing great," she said leaving Karev to visit her other patients saving Anna for last.

"Hey kiddo, how ya holding up?"

"Not so good, Dr. Robbins," Anna replied coughing intermittently with pain evident in her cloudy gray eyes. Taking out her stethoscope, Arizona listened to her heart, lungs, and stomach.

"What's wrong sweetie?" she asked concerned.

"I'm just really tired," she told the Arizona, "It's probably just the chemo," she tried dismissing her symptoms off. Arizona directed her attention to Anna's mother, "If she experiences any symptoms that are different than her usual reactions to chemo, like shortness of breath or chest pains have me paged."

"What's wrong," she questioned her voice bordering on hysteria.

"Anna's probably right," she placated, "It probably is the chemo," she said squeezing the woman's hand reassuringly. Turning towards Anna she said, "Your only job today is to rest, you got that young lady?"

"Okay," Anna agreed, "I'm too tired to argue."

"Well you wouldn't win," she said obnoxiously, "I'll be back to check on you later," she said in parting. She stopped by the nurses station to fill the charge nurse on what to do if anything changed in Anna's condition before heading down to surgery for the bowel reconstruction that came in on Monday.

Once that was over, she took a minute to check in with Callie.

"Hey Callie," she said in greeting, "It is so good to hear your voice."

"Hey," Callie returned in kind, "How is your day giong?"

"Oh you know, same thing everyday, everyday," she answered pretending to be bored.

"Yeah," Callie laughed sarcastically, "Saving lives completely sucks."

"It sure does," Arizona agreed, "I miss you though. How are you doing," she asked with hesitation in her voice. The line was quiet for a while.

"I miss you too," Callie sound suddenly sounding like she bore the weight of the world, "Come home soon?"

"I will, Callie," her voice holding a promise, "Is there anything you need?" Arizona voiced the same concern phrased in the form of a different question.

"Just to see your smiling face," was Callie's reply. Giggling, Arizona replied, "I'll be home after my shift."

"Alright, I love you," said Callie.

"I love _you_," Arizona answered before bidding Callie farewell. Once she was off the phone, Arizona felt uneasy. She had a feeling something was going on with Callie that was being kept from her. In an attempt to lift Callie's spirits, Arizona snapped a smiling self-portrait attaching the photo to a text.

_"Will this do until I can be there in person?"_ it read.

_"Aww, yes! Thank you,_" was Callie's reply.

_"Ur welcome. C U l8r_."

"_C U l8r." _She barely finished typing her reply because she was paged. She took one look a the page bolting in the direction of Anna's room. She arrived to see Karev charging the defibrillator to shock Anna's heart.

"What happened?" she asked incredulously.

"Complaints of chest pain, shortness of breast and irregularities with her heart beat," he fired off rapidly, "Before the nurse could page you, she coded."

"Page her oncologist now," she ordered someone in the room, "Give me the paddles, Alex."

"Charging," Alex alerted the crew standing over Anna.

"Clear," Arizona ordered before sending shock waves of electricity reverberating through Anna's lifeless body lifting it off the bed.

"No response," Alex announced, "Pushing epi," he said as he pushed the drugs into Anna's veins. There was still no response to the meds or the repeated shock to her heart. Arizona felt desperations cold hands squeezing her chest without mercy. Everyone was looking at her to figure out what to do next. Time stood still while Arizona was transported back in time to two weeks ago. The feelings she'd been suppressing for Callie's sake were awakened by the fear of losing Anna.

"Come on Anna," she pleaded, "Don't do this, I can't lose you too," she shouted.

"Clear," she order one final time. Seconds ticked by with no change. Arizona slumped over Anna resigning herself to the loss of her patient when she heart he unmistakable beep of Anna's heart monitor.

"We got her," Alex shouted quickly using his stethoscope to double check for a heart beat

"What?" Arizona asked in disbelief.

"We got her!" he restated, "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said sorrow clearing from her like smoke in the wind.

"Karev, I want an ultrasound of her heart. I want to know what caused this."

"I'm on it," he replied with renewed purpose.

"I also want her moved to the ICU," she continued her instructions. As an afterthought she added, "Have an intern monitor her vitals at all times until further notice." Alex nodded in understanding following behind Anna's bed. Once alone in the room, Arizona sank to the floor hugging her knees to her chest and she wept. She wept for the baby she lost feeling it fully for the first time. She wept for her broken girlfriend. She wept for the hopes and dreams she and Callie had for the baby. She wept for an eight day infant whose entire existence so far was fraught with pain and suffering. She wept for the parents who would never know a day without worry ever again. Finally, she wept for Anna who should be worried about football games and getting a cute boy to like her instead of wondering if she'd make it to high school or ever be able to get her driver's license. Arizona sobbed until her chest heaved making her breaths come in little gasps of air. It was in this state that Alex found her when he returned to the room for Anna's chart. Arizona stood quickly turning her back to him wiping her face on the sleeve of her lab coat.

"Arizona?" he asked not quite sure to make of her state. She held up her hand to silence any further questions from him. Taking a deep breath, she turned facing Alex.

"Callie had a miscarriage," she said feeling guilty for betraying Callie's secret, "No one knows," she added hastily to appease her guilt.

"When?" he asked shocked.

"Two weeks ago give or take," she replied.

"How is she?" he wanted to know.

"What do you think?" she responded.

"Not good," Alex honestly.

"Nope," she said her eyes welling up again.

"I'm sorry," he told her sincerely. Arizona smiled in response not trusting her voice.

"I gotta go," he said suddenly remembering he had a critical patient to help, "Don't worry, I can keep a secret."

"I know you can," she said sadly to the now empty room. Arizona was heading to her office after lunch to do some charting eagerly looking forward to going home. But the hits kept coming when she was paged to the NICU for baby Katherine. Teddy responded to the page as well already examining Katherine when she arrived.

"Fever spike," she glanced at Arizona as she entered the room.

"Infection?" she asked walking up to Teddy.

"Probably, I'm having blood work down to confirm but I'm increasing her antibiotics as a precaution," Teddy responded.

"Okay," she turned to the nurse who was standing in the room, "Let me and Dr. Altman know immediately when her labs are in."

"Yes Dr. Robbins," the nurse answered turning on her heels to leave the room.

"Guess we'll be bunking here again tonight," Teddy said with a sigh.

"Guess so," Arizona agreed with a heavy sigh of her own knowing there was no way she could go home when she had to kids in critical condition. She bid Teddy farewell promising to get together with her later for dinner. She texted Callie and update.

"_Two critical kids, can't come home. Sorry,"_ her text read to which Callie responded with a _"Grrr! I understand. Doesn't mean I like it but I understand."_

_ "Thank you. I'd much rather be home with you," _Arizona quickly typed back.

_"I know! You better be taking care of yourself!"_ Callie threatened.

_"I'll try. Love you," _she said ending her end of the conversation.

"_Love you too, bye,"_ Callie typed ending her part of the texting as well. Arizona went back to her office to review the upcoming surgeries she had scheduled in the next few days. She familiarized herself with the patient, and the family as far as words on a paper could tell her. Arizona was in popular demand having been paged to the emergency room for a minor car accident. The child didn't have any serious damage. While she was there, she was paged about Katherine's lab results. She finished working on her patient then going off in search of Teddy. Teddy was at the nurse's station on Arizona's unit. She smiled at her friend, and slid the reports to Arizona so she could see with her own eyes.

"Elevated white blood cells," Teddy recapped, "So it was an infection. I'm going to have labs drawn again in a few hours to see if the increase in antibiotics is helping." Relief immediately flooded through Arizona's body spilling out of her eyes.

"Hey," Teddy said softly grabbing Arizona's forearm, "She is going to be okay." Arizona looked at her friend giving her a shaky smile.

"She's going to be okay," she repeated them again to help make them real to her.

"What's going on with you?" Teddy squeezed Arizona's arm gently, "This isn't like you."

Arizona bowed her head down avoiding the caring gaze she was receiving from her friend.

"Something is going on Arizona, I can tell," Teddy tried again.

"Something," Arizona huffed, "I just can't talk about it yet," she said in a whisper.

"I respect that. You know I am here for you," Teddy told her friend.

"Thank you," Arizona said genuinely giving her friend's hand a light squeeze, "I gotta run. Anna's oncologist is here, and would like to speak with me."

"All hail the mighty oncologist," Teddy joked, "Best not to keep those doctor's in private practice waiting, your time is their money!"

"Right!" Arizona said with emphasis.

Arizona made her way back to Anna's room. Once there, she was greeted by Anna's doctor. A tall, stunning blond with crystal blue eyes, and a megawatt smile. Arizona was slightly dazed as if seeing a living god in human form. The heavenly creature extended her hand to Arizona in greeting.

"Hi I'm CJ March, Anna's oncologist," she said accompanying her hand shake.

"I am Dr. Robbins, it is good to me you Dr. March," Arizona replied to the introduction

"Please, I have heard so much about you from Anna, Dr. Robbins that you have to call me CJ,"

Arizona blushed, trying to figure out if this was friendly banter or was the pretty doctor flirting with her.

"What types of things have you been telling her Anna?" Arizona asked accusingly.

"Only good things," Anna rasped still weak from what her body went through earlier.

"Well in that case, CJ you can call me Arizona," she told her colleague.

"Battleship?" she questioned curiously.

"Yes! Everyone thinks it is the state where I was conceived in or born in but it was the USS Arizona."

"My grandfather was a Doctor at Pearl Harbor," CJ told Arizona.

"Mine was serving on the Arizona during the bombing," Arizona told her story.

"Hmm, small world," CJ commented, "So let's talk about Anna," bringing their interaction back to a professional level.

"Her heart was effected by the type of chemo she was on," CJ informed, "The scans indicate no permanent damage as long as she doesn't ever have that particular drug again."

"Which she won't," Arizona asserted authoritatively even though Anna was not technically her patient.

"Of course not," CJ laughed Arizona's aggression off, "You wouldn't happen to be one of those doctors who think that you are a sell-out to real medicine if you go into private practice?" Arizona pointed a finger at her chest with a who me look on her face. CJ laughed again.

"You know what we in private practice call your types?" CJ continued the banter.

"I have a type?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, we call you S.U.S's short for stuck up snobs," CJ fired playfully at Arizona.

"All fun aside, I am rather fond of Anna," Arizona laid her concern down.

"I am too," CJ said, "Both Anna and the cancer are tough. We just have to see which one is tougher, and I am doing everything I can to help make Anna strong enough to stay in the fight."

"That's all you can do," Arizona said reassuringly.

"That's not all I can do, CJ said staring off into space suddenly serious, "I can pray."

"And hope he hears your prayers," Arizona agreed. CJ studied Arizona intently as if weighing evidence needed in order to deliver a verdict.

"I like you," she announced, "For a surgeon," she amended. Arizona laughed out loud.

"I like _you_," Arizona announced, "Even though you're a sellout," she amended.

"Great, any interest in taking this mutual like fest to dinner?" CJ inquired casually.

"I think I might be able to stand you for an entire meal," Arizona commented equally casually cutting her eyes at the lady next to her.

Arizona and CJ enjoyed a meal courtesy of the hospital cafeteria. There was no shortage of topics for conversation eventually drifting into uncharted personal territory.

"So what do you like to do when you are not at work?" Arizona asked innocently.

"I like to go fishing, not any good but..." CJ trailed off, "I like surf, basically anything to do with the water," she finished.

"Alone?" Arizona inquired taking a bite of her pudding without realizing how the question might sound.

"Is this your way of subtly asking if I am single?" CJ said batting her eyes flirtatiously at Arizona. Arizona was mid gulp when CJ responded swallowing wrong causing her to choke. CJ patted her back trying to help.

"Don't worry, I have that effect on all the pretty girls," she joked trying to buy Arizona time enough to recover.

"CJ, umm, umm, I'm, I'm," she stammered nervously.

"I think the word you are looking for is flattered," CJ supplied ruefully.

"Yes!" Arizona exclaimed, "And I'm, I'm," she floundered.

"In a relationship?" CJ guessed. Arizona sighed visibly relieved not to have to explain further.

"Very much so," she answered truthfully.

"Hmm, I must be getting rusty. I thought you responded to my earlier attempts at flirtation," CJ commented.

"So you were flirting!"

"Can you blame me? You are hot!" CJ complimented causing Arizona to blush, "No harm done?" CJ asked.

"None," Arizona assured, "I've been told I make a great friend."

"I think I'll take you up on that," CJ said looking down at her watch, "Where has the time gone, it is already 8pm!" Arizona shrugged her shoulders.

"I need to check on Anna before I leave," she said getting up from the table, "What about you?"

"Two patients in ICU so I am bunking here," Arizona said piling her trash on her tray.

"Private practice has its advantages you know?" CJ tempted.

"And leave all this?" Arizona gestured grandly to the hospital around her. Both women exchanged numbers promising to get together soon. Arizona had time on her hands so she did an extra set of rounds checking on all her patients making sure they were tucked in for the night. She sat with a a scared five year old boy named Spencer reading him book after book until her fell asleep. After that, Arizona decided to call it a night. She went to the attending locker room to wash up getting ready for bed. The she went to her on-call room collapsing tiredly onto the bunk desperately hoping for no life threatening emergencies. Luck was on her side enabling her to sleep undisturbed throughout the entire night. Alex met her first thing in the morning with a steaming cup of coffee. Apparently, Katherine's infection responded well to treatment, and she has been taken out of the NICU. Anna's health has stabilized enough for her to be stepped down into a regular room again. Since everything seemed to be looking better, Arizona technically wasn't supposed to be working today. So, she went to the locker room, gathered her things, headed out of the hospital towards her home. She was really looking forward to putting on an old pair of jammies, and sleeping in her own bed for a change. She opened the door to her apartment stepping two feet inside before she was assaulted by the smell of decay. Dropping her keys loudly on the counter to get Callie's attention. When that did work Arizona called her name through gritted teeth.

"Callie," she says her irritation mounting at the scene of neglect.

"What?" Callie questioned with a little bit of the fiery Latina Arizona knew was in there.

"Really, Callie what?" Arizona said irritation transparent in her words.

"What's got your panties in a twist, Arizona?" Callie said clearly upset at having been disturbed.

"What's got my panties in a twist? Hmm how about I come home from working three days in a row to find my house resembling a dump site smelling like there is a rotting corpse hidden summer under all this mess," she indicated to the myriad of boxes, bags, and containers that littered practically every available counter space, "My panties are in a twist because my girlfriend hasn't bothered to shower or change clothes for three days. I don't ever need to get close to you to know you stink!" Arizona paused mid tirade noticing for the first time how her tough love attempt was effecting Callie. The other woman's shoulders were slumped in guilt, defeat, a marriage of both, her body was trembling, and she was biting her lip to stifle the sobs threatening to explode out of her.

"I just don't know what to do anymore, Arizona," she said honestly, "My baby died, my baby died," she said dejectedly. Arizona took a step closer bringing her presence to Callie to help calm her down. It didn't matter that she smelled horrendous. She bent her head down to catch Callie's eyes, and raise her head up.

"But you didn't," she said with quiet force, "You didn't die," she repeated again forcefully.

"What do you want me to do Arizona?" Callie asked genuinely unsure of herself or her place in this world.

"I don't know, Callie," Arizona answered her, "Take a shower, put on clean clothes. Anything. Just try!"Arizona implored. Callie contemplated Arizona's words for a moment before responding.

"What good will it do?" she said monotonously, her voice zombie like, "It won't bring my baby back."

"I know that but Callie," she hesitated, "It might just bring you back." Turning around, Arizona grabbed her keys off the counter. With her back turned towards Callie, she said over her shoulder, "I'm going back to the hospital for awhile. Please have this place cleaned up before I get back," she said not so much a request but as a demand. With that, she left the apartment. She made her way to te elevator thinking about how broke Callie seemed. She knew there was something eating Callie alive but so far, Callie was unwilling to talk with her about it.

Arizona made her way to the elevator smashing the down button harshly. While she was waiting, she stood in the hallway fuming. The doors opened, and Arizona spotted one of the reasons why she was so angry.

"Mark," Arizona said through gritted teeth causing Mark to cringe as if someone ran their nails down a chalk board.

"I need to talk to you about Callie," she said authoritatively.

"What is it," he snapped to attention alarmed, "Is she alright?"

"She's not washing Mark," she said as if that explained everything she was trying to tell him. She waited for him to respond accordingly. When he didn't, her frustration grew like a weed in a drought.

"You need to be more supportive, more encouraging," she told him.

"Whoa, whoa whoa," he interrupted pushing past her to get off the elevator, "Where in the hell do you get off trying to tell me how to help my best friend," he said pointing to his chest, "My best friend," he reiterated.

"What you are doing is not healthy, it's not help. What you are doing is enabling her," she argued. Mark stalked towards Arizona aggressively invading her personal space.

"Enabling her," he scoffed, "Do you know about her nightmares?"

"Of course I know about her nightmares," she responded haughtily, "We do sleep in the same bed."

"No," he corrected, "Has she told you what her nightmares are about?" he asked smugly already knowing the answer. Arizona gasped in shock.

"S-s-she told you," she stammered.

"Yes she did," he replied arrogantly, "Callie and I just lost our baby, OUR baby so you don't get to tell me how to deal with it. Any of it," he said angrily before stomping off. Mark words raced through her head, taunting her, tormenting her. Arizona leaned heavily against the elevator wall.

"She went to him," she repeated out loud, "She went to him." It took a minute for Arizona to realize she was making the situation about herself when it actually had nothing to do with her. It was about Callie, and it was about Mark. She was right though, their relationship was toxic and she needed to do something about it. She made her way back to the hospital still somewhat dazed and hurt by the words Mark used so effectively against her. Through the fog of pain, she was still able to formulate a plan. That was what being a good man in a storm was all about. At the nearest nurses station, she gave the nurse some very explicit instructions. She waited in the on call room for her plan to come to her. She paced the floor anxiously muttering to herself when the younger Grey entered the room. Arizona didn't notice her in her ramblings until Lexie cleared her throat expectantly. Arizona continued pacing looking at Lexie with a wild look in her eyes.

"I have to choose," she said half expecting Lexie to know what she was talking about. Seeing confusion still evident on Lexie's face, she continued, "I can't do it all. I can't help them both. I have to choose and I choose her."

"Dr. Torres?" Lexie asked trying to make sense of the situation.

"Yes, Calliope," Arizona affirmed.

"Dr. Robbins," Lexie said grasping Arizona by her upper arms to help her focus, "What are you talking about?" Arizona closed her eyes inhaling deeply to stoke her nerves.

"Sit down Lexie," she requested suddenly eerily calm, "I need your help." Lexie sat down tentatively resting on the edge of her seat. Arizona sat on the couch opposite Lexie. Looking Lexie squarely in the eyes, she began.

"About two weeks ago, Callie had a miscarriage," she said.

"Oh my god," Lexie responded sympathetically before it dawned on her that Arizona was also telling her that Mark lost his baby too, "Oh my god," she repeated thickly leaning back into the chair for support. Arizona watched the scene play out on Lexie's face like a movie.

"How is Callie?" Lexie asked.

"Not good," Arizona answered truthfully.

"How is Mark," Lexie inquired.

"Not good," she said honestly, "That is what I wanted to talk to you about."

" What is it that you want me to do," she pondered somewhat dumbfounded.

"Mark and Callie together right now isn't a pretty picture," she said, "They are not dealing with reality. It is more like wallowing. I can't help them both Lexie, and I can't help Callie with Mark standing in the way," she explained.

"But Mark and I," Lexie trailed off shaking her head.

"He trusts you Lexie," Arizona said, "You are the only other person in his life that he trusts enough with his pain," she said presenting her final argument. Lexie bowed her head knowing Arizona spoke the truth.

"I know it is asking a lot," Arizona said closing in on her victory.

"No, it is not," Lexie countered, "I will do all that I can," she assured Arizona. Arizona sighed in relief.

"How are you by the way?" Lexie asked sincerely causing Arizona's jaw to drop open in shock.

"W-w-what?"

"How are you?" she restated her question expressing genuine concern about Arizona's feelings. Everything from the past weeks came rushing back. Arizona felt every emotional punch, every emotional bruise as if it were happening all over again. So much so that Lexie's simple concern for her was the knock out punch causing Arizona to crumble. Lexie rushed to her side on the couch prepared to wrap her arms around Arizona but before she could, Arizona launched herself into Lexie's embrace reading seeking the comfort being offered. Lexie held the grieving woman knowing that no words would help right now. Tears were what Arizona needed and it took sometime before Arizona was able to compose herself. Looking at Lexie with watery eyes, she smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry," she offered in explanation, "It's just that no one has asked me that before."

"It was your baby too," Lexie said emphatically, "So no apologies please," she said covering Arizona's hand in hers.

"I will do what I can for Mark."

"Thank you," she said gratefully.

"I just remembered something," Lexie said.

"Yeah?"

"Don't know if you are interested, but there is a support group for partners of miscarriage, POM's for short," she waited trying to gage her reaction. Seeing curiosity instead of dismissal, Lexie continued.

"They meet at St. Cyprians on Church Street every Tuesday and Friday at 7:30pm." she finished listing off the information.

"You know this how?" Arizona asked curiously.

"Lexipedia, remember?" she laughed.

"Ahh yes, photographic memory," Arizona recalled, "Thank you, Lexie."

"You are welcome, anytime," she said as her pager went off, "Gotta go." Arizona nodded her head in farewell. She grabbed the box of tissue off the table loudly blowing her nose. Her eyes caught the clock reading 7:05 pm. She mulled over whether or not a support group would be good for her. In the end, she decided that she needed to take better care of herself if she was going to be any use to Callie and outside help could achieve that.

Even though Arizona was the only one whose partner was a woman, the group of men welcomed her with open arms. She disclosed little information choosing mainly to observe gaining insight from the experiences of the others in the group. She laughed with the men, she cried with the men, finally finding camaraderie and solace in their shared tragedy. She left feeling unburdened and refreshed certain that she would return. She walked home feeling a light rain wash over her face taking with it some pain. She opened the door to the apartment immediately assaulted by the smell of orange scented Mr. Clean. She flipped the switch by the door to find the kitchen totally spot less. The remnant of Callie's chaos disappeared. Callie stood up hesitantly from her spot on the couch. Arizona took in Callie's appearance. Callie's face bore the sheen of having been freshly scrubbed, her hair had the luster and sheen of being freshly washed, and her clothes were devoid of any stains. She smiled uncertainly at Arizona.

"Are you still mad?" she asked a hitch in her voice.

"Oh honey," Arizona said starting towards Callie, "I was never mad, just worried."

"I don't mean to make you worry," Callie said.

"Don't, don't, don't," Arizona said closing the distance separating them folding Callie into her arms, "I love you and there is nothing to be sorry for," she squeezed her tightly before releasing her keeping her at an arm's length.

"Okay, Calliope?" she asked. Callie nodded her head. Satisfied, she let Callie go indicating that she needed a shower. Arizona took her time in the shower letting the hot water melt away her tension like butter. When she got out, she was surprised to see Callie in bed already laying on her right side with her back towards her. She quickly dressed, slipping into bed quietly. She laid on her left side with her left arm pillowing her head. She felt a dip in the mattress as Callie rolled over to face her. Arizona waited wondering what Callie was going to do.

"Arizona," Callie whispered a plea better suited for the cover of night. Arizona rolled over to face Callie. Searching Callie's face intently, Arizona realized that in that moment, Callie was turning to her, not Mark and this made her heart burst with adoration. She reached forward cupping Callie's face in her hands pulling toward her gently meeting her half way kissing her gently and tenderly. Callie kissed her back the same way sliding her right hand across Arizona's waist, grabbing her backside pulling her tightly against her. Callie massaged small circles into Arizona's ass starting a slow burn in the pit of her stomach blazing a trail south. Arizona increased the stakes sensually sliding her tongue into Callie's mouth. Callie welcomed Arizona's tongue eagerly with her own significantly increasing the temperature of the kiss. Both women quickly lost their breath with the intensity of the kiss. Arizona pulled back so their noses were touching. She wanted to relish the reconnection instead of rushing through it. She waited for Callie to open her eyes. When she did, she ran the back of her fingers over Callie's cheeks down her neck resting on the curve of her shoulder.

"You're so beautiful, Calliope," she said in reverence.

"Show me?" Callie commented more as a question her eyes and voice clouded with doubt. In the light of recent events, Arizona understood where the uncertainly came from and she was more determined than ever to prove to Callie that she was loved. She maneuvered so that she was laying on top of Callie in between her legs. She placed a loving kiss against Callie's forehead moving to kiss one closed eyelid, then the next making Callie smile. She ran her hands from Callie's shoulder all the way down her arm.

"Your skin is so amazingly soft," she told Callie, "I can't touch you enough," she said causing goosebumps with her words just as much as with her touch. She slid down Callie's body making sure to rub herself against the prone woman sensually. She lifted the hem of Callie's shirt rubbing her face into Callie's stomach.

"And the way you smell," she paused to inhale deeply, "Is so intoxicating." Callie wiggled out of her shirt leaving herself bare except for her panties.

"Those too, Calliope," she said grasping the hem of the panties sliding them down over Callie's womanly hips. Callie lifted her pelvis enough allowing Arizona to push them down and off. Arizona moved back up to Callie's mouth kissing her hard pushing against Callie's tongue aggressively.

"And the way you taste," she said hotly against her mouth, "It's so addicting." Callie crashed into Arizona sliding Arizona's shirt up. Arizona dipped her head so Callie could get the shirt over her head. She also took a moment to rid herself of her panties as well. Callie sighed appreciatively at the feel of Arizona's bare skin against her own. Callie gripped Arizona's firm ass pulling her tightly where she wanted her the most, arching her hips into Arizona's as they continued kissing. Arizona resumed her exploration of Callie's body murmuring gin delight along the way. She cupped Callie's breast in her hand marveling at how responsive they were.

"Your breasts are amazing, too," she said massaging them under her palms, "They're so responsive," she murmured in wonder. Callie moaned her appreciation.

"I love the way you touch me, Arizona," Callie said finally finding a voice.

"Does it feel good, baby?" Arizona asked lightly pinching Callie's nipple.

"Oh god," Callie responded arching her back pushing her breasts into Arizona's hands. Arizona caressed her way down Callie's body stopping to stroke her thumb over the hollow at Callie's hip bone. She bent down to Callie's waist flicking her tongue across the indentation. Callie wrapped her hands into Arizona's hair in anticipation of Arizona reaching her final destination. She moved across Callie's' body with purpose until she reached the source of Callie. She parted the wet folds with her tongue stroking up one side, down the next before plunging her tongue into Callie's wetness. She moved her tongue up, down, side to side, and in and out causing Callie to grind wantonly against her mouth. Callie was a very responsive woman, and it always drove Arizona insane with desire. She stopped what she was doing with her mouth making Callie whimper in frustration. Arizona kissed Callie with the taste of her still on her tongue. Callie sucked greedily at Arizona's tongue sending a rush of heat down to her core. Arizona tore her tongue away. Callie groaned at the loss. Arizona grabbed Callie's right hand in her own.

"If you need proof of how much I love you," she said kissing Callie's knuckles, "Of how much I want you, or how much I need you then feel for yourself," she instructed moving Callie's hand down to her chest so she could feel her racing heart beat, down to her nipples taut with arousal, stopping when Callie's hand was between her legs. Callie gasped at Arizona's desire quickly accepting the invitation offered. She coated two fingers in Arizona's wetness before pushing into Arizona hard. Arizona collapsed onto her forearms as Callie worked her fingers in and out at a steady pace. Arizona wanted Callie at the same time so she straddled one of Callie's thighs so she could enter Callie as well. She pushed gently into Callie reveling at the wetness she encountered. Despite wanting to take things slow, and draw things out, Arizona could feel the stirring of her orgasm building starting in her thighs traveling upwards. She kissed Callie with abandon moaning into the kiss.

"I love you," she said in between kisses, "I love you," she repeated again as Callie stroked her towards oblivion, "Oh god I love you," she cried throwing her head back in bliss. She came down from her high burying her head into Callie's neck realizing she neglected Callie's need.

"Sorry?" she said.

"No you're not," Callie replied huskily nuzzling into the side of Arizona's neck.

"You're right," she said pressing herself into Callie so there was just enough space for her hand. She moved her body against Callie's in time with her hand. She curved her fingers upwards as she stroked Callie so intimately. Callie matched the pace loving the feel of Arizona pressed so tightly against her, she could feel Arizona's heart pounding against her chest. Arizona used her knowledge well soon having Callie's body humming like electricity. Her body trembled beneath her touch which was a tell tale sign that orgasm was fast approaching.

"Kiss me Arizona," Callie commanded huskily. Arizona crushed her lips into Callie's swallowing Callie's cries of ecstasy. Arizona tempered the kiss down allowing Callie to regain her composure. Once the clenching stopped, Arizona slowly removed her fingers. Callie sighed at the loss of sensation. Arizona moved to Callie's side propping herself up on her hand. She ran her hands lightly over Callie's cooling skin still trying to convey with actions how beautiful she thought Callie was. Callie turned her head catching Arizona gazing at her in adoration. Arizona knew she was caught but held steady.

"Do you know now?" Arizona asked tentatively.

"Without a doubt, Arizona," Callie answered earnestly.

"Good," she said drawing Callie to her chest holding her. Basking in the intimate after glow of their lovemaking, each woman fell asleep sated.

Even though Arizona hadn't had much time off in the past week, she woke up feeling rejuvenated by the reconnection she had with Callie. She prepared for work with an extra pep in her step. She was pouring her morning coffee about to head out for the day when Callie walked out wearing a pair of scrubs.

"What's going on?" she asked quizzically.

"I heard what you said, Arizona," Callie said shuffling from one foot to the other, "And this is me trying." Arizona looked at Callie barely able to contain her pride at the strength of her girlfriend. Knowing Callie was still skittish about returning to the place that her baby died, Arizona spoke not a word. Instead, she opened the cabinet pulling out a coffee mug for Callie. She made the cup the way she knew Callie liked, and handed it to the skittish woman.

"Ready?" she asked encouragingly.

"As I'll ever be," she replied walking out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13: There Are No Secrets When You're Dead**

**Reviews are always appreciated. **

**Funkyshaz-I added a piece just for you. It wasn't originally going to be in my plot but since you asked so nicely...Only one more chapter to go, and then I'm putting this story to bed!**

**PLEASE review and let me know what you think of the entire story.**

**Did you know that kids today are not being taught how to write in cursive? WTF!**

After getting back into the swing of things at work, Callie realized how silly it was of her to be so fearful of the hospital. If anything, work gave her another distraction from the agonizing thought plaguing floor, and her fragile mind. Sure, Celebrity Rehab was good, it even worked but work was better because she got to help others, and help herself at the same time. And much to her chagrin, Callie realized Arizona was right. Having a normal routine made her feel more like herself again. So far, she had no reason to visit the OB/GYN floor which was perfectly fine with her. She'd come far, had further to go but she'd avoid climbing that hill for as long as she could. Walking down the hallway towards the cafeteria, she bumped into Mark.

"Hey, stranger," she greeted cheerfully, "How've you been?" she asked matching his long stride with her own.

"Oh hey Cal," he answered avoiding her gaze evasively, "I'm good, how are you?"

"Doing better," she told him truthfully.

"Really," he asked somewhat relieved.

"Yeah, really," she confirmed, "You haven't been around lately."

"Yeah, about that," he answered cryptically. Callie grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Mark," she said sternly, "What's going on?" Mark wrung his hands anxiously worried about how his friend would react.

"Lexie came over a few days ago," he paused catching her eye hoping he didn't have to say more but Callie nodded her head waiting for him to continue.

"We've been talking, she's been helping me out with...everything," he explained, "We're trying to work things out." Callie paused deliberately letting the information sink in before a huge smile played across her face.

"That's great Mark," she said with a squeeze of his arm.

"You're happy about this, with her knowing?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"  
"It's just...you haven't had a lot to be happy about lately," he explained.

"I'm feeling better Mark, you deserve to be happy, she makes you happy so I am happy for you!" she said kindly.

"Happy like a clown?" he joked.

"Eww no, that's just creepy," she admonished jovially. Her pager went off before she could go into further details about Mark and Lexie's reconciliation.

"Gotta go," she said looking at her pager, "We'll catch up soon," she said running towards the ER not bothering to hear his reply.

Upon her arrival to the ER, Alex met her thrusting a set of X-rays into her hands presenting the details while she analyzed the film.

"Asher Lesner, 15 years old, pulled from his pool unconscious."

"What happened?" she questioned wanting to know the method of injury which would help narrow down the diagnosis.

"His sister said he dove head first into the shallow end of the pool," he told her shaking his head at the boy's stupidity.

"Is he awake?" she asked scrutinizing the film.

"He is now, his C-spine is still immobilized and he has no feeling from the waist down."

"There it is," she said as if finding a needle in a haystack. Alex squinted at the film not seeing anything.

"What is it?" he asked puzzled.

"Tear drop fracture on the C-5 vertebrae," she said pointing to the compression fracture, "Page Derek, fill him in, and book an OR. He needs surgery," Callie said feeling her groove.

"I'll page you when we're ready," Alex replied.

"Good man, Alex," she said sauntering away with a confident swagger in her gait. Knowing this surgery would be complicated and lengthy, Callie grabbed a protein bar and some milk to eat while she reviewed information regarding her upcoming surgery. Alex sent Callie a text about the surgery. Looking at the information, Callie's stomach plummeted. Feeling nauseous, she grabbed a nearby trash can prepared to expel the contents of her stomach. It didn't come. She was able to staunch the sick feeling with deep breathing, and positive self-talk. After the physical reaction subsided, Callie rose with purpose heading off to her surgery in OR 5. The same OR where the loss of her baby became official. She made it all the way to the OR but couldn't make herself go in. Alex tried coaxing her in unsuccessfully. Realizing what was happening, he tried to talk Callie down of her self-imposed ledge to no avail. So, he called for a more skilled rescue. He waited until he saw Arizona striding down the hall acknowledging her with an upward nod of his head before disappearing quickly into the surgical suite. Arizona watched Callie pacing back and forth like a caged tiger complete with a wild look in her eyes. Arizona obstructed Callie's path grabbing her by her biceps. Callie shook her head mumbling incoherently. Arizona could make out words like, "Can't," "Bad," "Dead baby."

"Callie stop," she said forcefully, "Just stop, stop, stop!" And Callie did what she was told.

"Good," Arizona said acknowledging her compliance, "Now listen to me." Callie nodded at Arizona to let her know she was listening.

"That," she said pointing her finger to OR 5, "Is just a room. It can't hurt you," she stressed boring into Callie's eyes. She could see clarity burning its way like the sun chasing away the fog so she continued.

"Go in that room and give that boy something that was taken from you," Arizona said with conviction, "Go in there and give that boy back his life."

"It's just a room," Callie repeated.

"It is," she agreed.

"He needs me," Callie said.

"He does," Arizona acknowledged.

"If I need you," she asked her eyes darting uncertainly to Arizona's.

"I'll be watching," she reassured.

"Kay," Callie said pushing the door open with renewed purpose.

"That's my girl," Arizona thought to herself with pride. Arizona made her way to the observation room to find Meredith occupying one seat since a part of the surgery involved neurology. Cristina was also there looking disinterested. Arizona took a seat closest to the window, watching, and waiting. Arizona noted Callie's hand trembling slightly as she requested a scalpel. Alex saw it too. He handed her the instrument but didn't let go when she grabbed it. Arizona saw him whisper something in her ear. Whatever he said to Callie worked and her chest burned with gratitude for Alex. Callie looked up at Arizona from time to time during the complex surgery. Arizona could see Callie's confidence returning like a long lost friend as time went on. Watching Callie totally in her element was exhilarating to Arizona. She squirmed in her seating feelings of lost being roused as she watched Callie's skillful hands operate. She squeezed her legs together tightly trying poorly to stifle her growing need. Seems that Arizona wasn't the only one affected. When Callie's portion of the surgery was over, she looked towards Arizona with a look of pure animalistic lust steaming in her eyes. Arizona's breath lodged in her throat.

"She needs me alright," she thought to herself excusing herself from Meredith and Cristina's presence. Once Arizona cleared the room, Cristina commented dryly.

"She's totally going to get laid," Cristina said knowingly.

"Totally," Meredith agreed popping a red twizzler into her mouth.

Arizona had seen the look in Callie's eyes before. Callie was on the prowl, and Arizona was her prey. Not wanting to make the hunt too easy for Callie, Arizona found her way to an out of the way on call room that she knew Callie wouldn't think to look for her in right off. Once there, she turned off the lights, and waited. While she was waiting, Arizona slid her right hand into the waist band of her pants. She stroked herself lightly to stoke the slow embers of desire seeing Callie operate stirred within her. She pulled her hand away quickly when she heard someone call out to Callie in greeting. Arizona pulled her face into a mask of indifference before Callie opened the door.

"There you are," Callie commented ferally like a jaguar in the night, "What have you been doing?"

"Waiting for you," Arizona sauntered over to Callie reaching discreetly behind her to lock the door.

"Waiting for me, huh?" Callie asked crossing her arms over her chest, "What have you been doing while you were waiting?"

"Well watching you rock that surgery got me," she paused to bring her mouth a breath away from Callie's ear, "Hot," she whispered before moving back to see how the words impacted Callie.

Callie met her inquisitive gaze with a smirk.

"And all that eye fucking you were giving me towards the end made me really, really...wet," she continued, "So I came here to wait for you but you took so long that I had to get started all by myself," she said jutting out her juicy lip in a mock pout.

"Did you now," Callie purred seductively taking Arizona's right hand in her mouth tasting the evidence of her arousal on her tongue. Callie's tongue swirled sensually against her fingers causing Arizona to tilt her head back releasing a throaty moan.

"Mmm," Callie sighed appreciatively against the fingers in her mouth before releasing them, "Do I get an invite to your party or do you want to finish this up all on your own?"

"Oh you definitely get an invite," Arizona said nipping Callie's lips.

"That's what I thought," Callie said cockily grabbing Arizona brusquely spinning her around pushing her hard against the wall so that Arizona's face was pressed up against the wall. Arizona's stomach leapt at the thought that Callie was about to take her. Callie roughly pushed her scrub pants and panties down to her knees. She slid her left hand under her scrub top pulling her bra up over her breasts not even bothering to undo the clasp. She kneaded and squeezed Arizona's breasts with both hands rubbing them in her hands pushing them together before tweaking her nipples between her thumb and forefinger. Arizona bit her lip to stifle the moans threatening to escape her mouth. Callie continue her gruff treatment of Arizona's left breast while her right hand snaked its way down. Callie's mouth attacked Arizona's neck and shoulders nipping the delicate skin then soothing the nips away with her warm tongue. When her hand found its destination, Callie rested her hand against Arizona's mound. Arizona squirmed against the hand trying to relieve the built up pressure.

"This is mine," Callie growled against Arizona's ear, "Did I tell you to touch what is mine?" Arizona felt completely out of control, at the mercy of her very aroused, very dominant girlfriend. She wasn't scared, in fact, she found the entire encounter erotic and delicious. When Callie didn't get an answer, she removed her hand giving a sharp tug on Arizona's long hair.

"Did I?" Callie restated her question.

"No," Arizona hissed a response.

"That was very naughty, Arizona," she said before taking Arizona's earlobe between her teeth sucking on it. Arizona's knees buckled but Callie held her steadfast against the wall.

"You need to be punished," Callie informed Arizona sliding her middle and ring finger into Arizona's velvet wetness coating her fingers liberally. Arizona arched her hips trying to get Callie's fingers closer to her aching need.

"What should I do to you?" Callie pondered. Arizona knew she was completely at Callie's mercy, and regardless of what she said, Callie was going to do whatever she wanted anyway.

"I don't know," she answered in a whisper full of need. At this point, Callie was stroking her deftly up and down circling around Arizona's tender clit. Arizona's hips moved of their own volition.

"I'm going to fuck you, Arizona," She said heatedly into her ear, "That's what I'm going to do to you," she said before plunging her fingers hard and deep into Arizona's molten core. Arizona had to brace herself with both hands splayed against the wall as Callie drove her fingers into her causing a slapping noise as the heel of her hand came into contact with the upper portion of Arizona's mound. Callie's left hand continued manipulating Arizona's breast skillfully. Arizona was moaning without abandon now barely making coherent words. Callie knew Arizona was close the moment she felt Arizona's pulsating walls tightening up on her fingers. She moved her left hand up to Arizona's mouth to suppress the guttural sounds coming out of her mouth that would only get louder when she came. Callie continued pumping in and out at a rapid pace feeling Arizona getting wetter. Arizona's orgasm crashed into her like a freight train without breaks. There was nothing she could to as it sped through her body crashing into her over heated body. She screamed against the hand at her mouth as her orgasm gushed out of her body drenching Callie's hand up to the wrist. Callie still her hand knowing she must be extremely sensitive after such an enthusiastic release. She took her hand from Arizona's mouth wrapping it around her waist to help hold her up. Only when the clenching around her fingers stopped did she remove her hand. She bent to pull Arizona's pants up, stopping to plant a kiss on each side of Arizona's shapely ass. Arizona turned around when Callie stood up pulling her in for an open mouth, wet kiss.

"Mmm," she murmured appreciatively, "That was some punishment," she joked lightly. When there was no response, Arizona pulled back to see Callie better. She was a little surprised by what she saw. Callie's brown eyes appeared black like coal with unabated desire. Arizona realized she was still riding the adrenaline high from her surgery as well as from her "conquest." Letting Callie take her didn't seem to quench Callie's desire at all. Wrapping her hand around Callie's waist, she pulled her into her body snugly. Looking directly into her eyes, Arizona issued an indirect challenge with her words.

"Is there something you need from me?" Callie met Arizona's challenge with one of her own.

"Nah," she said backing out of Arizona's embrace, "You started this party on your own, and I'm perfectly capable of finishing up all by myself."

"Oh really," Arizona questioned arching her eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yep," Callie replied sitting down on a nearby bed. Arizona watched Callie pull off one shoe then the next tossing them aside with a thump on the floor. Arizona's curiosity skyrocketed as she watched Callie slide her scrub pants down her smooth, silky legs. Callie picked them up, folded them neatly putting them on the pillow. Arizona clucked her tongue impatiently. Callie suppressed a grin at Arizona's posture. Arizona was standing with her right hand on her hip, with her head titled to the left as if to say, "Is that all you got?"

"Are you gonna watch?" Callie asked as she lifted up her hips to slide her panties down.

"Yep," Arizona said quickly, "I'm gonna watch." Callie shrugged her shoulders as if to say, "Suit yourself." Callie changed her mind regarding her panties opting to keep them in place knowing full well not seeing would drive Arizona just as crazy as seeing would. Callie didn't move until she had Arizona's rapt attention. When she was certain, she slid both of her hands sinuously up her stomach to cup her full breasts arching her back into her hands. She squeezed, rubbed, and kneaded each breasts until her nipples were straining against the fabric of her clothes. Arizona licked her lips watching intently as Callie pleasured her breasts further by tweaking and rolling the rock hard nipples between her fingers. Callie moaned seeing Arizona's pink tongue darting out imagining them sucking her nipples. Callie ached at the thought of having those luscious lips all over her body.

"You like that," Arizona stated huskily.

"You know I do," Callie agreed. Callie continued with her left hand snaking her right hand under the waist of her panties. Callie gasped as her had was met with evidence of her arousal. She leaned back on her left hand so she could spread her legs further apart gaining better access.

"I'm wet Arizona," she said in a low tone of voice.

"You are?" Arizona asked although she wasn't the least bit surprised.

"Mmm hmm," Callie sita sliding her fingers up and down drenching them into her wetness. Arizona could only see the motion of Callie's fingers through the filmy material but she has a pretty good idea of Callie was doing. Arizona's hands began to itch to be the one touching and sh stood fidgeting as Callie's hips bucked in response to Callie penetrating her own self. She watched Callie's hand stretching the material of her panties and she drove further and further into herself.

"Talk to me, "Arizona requested, "Tell me how you feel...please."

"Good," Callie panted her ability to form coherent sentences fading fast, "Feels so, so good," she moaned as she stroked herself particularly hard and deep. Arizona's breath hitched in her throat as Callie's hand moved up making tight quick circles around her clit before moving back down again. At some point, Callie's eyes closed as her body was taken hostage by sensation.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Arizona asked her voice like a caress. Callie's eyes shot open, and she was met with the electric penetrating stare of deep blue.

"You," she whispered hotly, "I'm thinking about you." Arizona had enough inaction.

"I'm done watching," she said taking bold, purposeful steps in Callie's direction.

"Oh thank god," Callie exclaimed lifting her hips to help as Arizona removed her panties. Arizona grabbed Callie underneath her knees pulling Callie's so that she was on the edge of the bed and she quickly dove in lapping at Callie's entrance, driving her tongue in deep. Callie gasped at the feeling of Arizona's tongue. Her hips thrust in sync with Arizona's tongue. Arizona removed her tongue licking upwards with light strokes. Callie whimpered at the loss of Arizona's tongue but her whimpers soon turned into moans of ecstasy as she was filled deeply by Arizona's fingers. Arizona worked Callie's clit with her tongue bathing it in erotic circles, tugging it gently between her lips, or sucking on it entirely while using two fingers to increase sensation. Callie's hips bucked madly against Arizona as pleasure coursed through her body like a drug. Arizona's tongue was like her own personal heroin, and Callie would do whatever she could to get herself higher. Arizona didn't care that she was having a hard time hanging on. All she cared about was making Callie come hard. Callie wrapped one hand around Arizona's haphazard ponytail grinding herself wantonly against Arizona's face until she came with a scream that filled the room. Callie collapsed letting go of Arizona's ponytail once the rush of her orgasm subsided. Arizona kissed one of Callie's thighs, then the other before slowing removing her fingers. Callie watched semi-comatosed as Arizona looked for her panties. Finding them under the bed, she slid them back up Callie's gorgeous tan legs. Callie finished pulling them up and then finished dressing in her scrub pants. When Callie was dressed, Arizona climbed onto the bed laying on her side facing Callie.

"Satisfied Calliope?" she asked playfully. Callie rolled from her back to her side so she was facing Arizona as well.

"Yes," Callie replied wholeheartedly, "Are you?" The tone in Callie's voice made Arizona realize that Callie meant more than just the sexual encounter they had. Arizona cupped Callie's face in her hands bringing her in for a sweet, tender kiss.

"Very," she whispered against Callie's lips tickling Callie with her breath. Callie smiled against Arizona's lips, and Arizona giggled. Both women lay there content in each others presence talking softly.

"I can't believe we've been in here this long without anyone trying to find us for one thing or another," Callie commented wondrously. Arizona shot up from bed as if she remembered something she forgot.

"What time is it?" she asked brusquely.

"7:15pm, why?" Callie answered.

"Gotta go," Arizona said scrambling over Callie to get off the bed. She headed out the door but turned to blow Callie a kiss before leaving the room. Callie was still laying in the bed wondering what just happened to make Arizona leave to fast.

Arizona sped down the corridors of the hospital not wanting to be late for her support group meeting. She was so preoccupied with not being tardy that she didn't see Mark sitting in the circle. When she did, she stopped dead in her tracks. Mark looked at her, then away because he didn't see that the person entering the room was Arizona. When he did, he did a double take. Arizona took a seat a couple of chairs away from him. She could feel his eyes burning holes into her skin so she looked at him. Mark's eyes met hers full of guilt and remorse.

"Hey Mark," she said quietly acknowledging his presences with a soft smile. Mark's eyes widened in response to her acknowledgment but he didn't trust himself to respond verbally. The meeting started shortly after the exchange. Mark quietly left once the meeting was adjourned but Arizona hung back to chat with some of the guys. Exiting the building, a voice to her left, startled her. Arizona swung around to see Mark leaning against the brick wall of the church.

"You were right," he called out to Arizona as she was starting to walk away again. She stopped, turned around with surprised etched into her features. He pushed himself off the wall towards Arizona stopping when he was a foot away.

"You were right," he re-stated, "About me not helping Callie." It was Arizona's turn to do a double take.

"It took me getting away from her for awhile to see more clearly," he continued, "I thought I was being there for her but I was just holding her back." Arizona pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest not yet ready to make nice.

"You were hurting her," she said plainly.

"Jeez," he complained, "I know it and I am sorry what more do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to be sorry Mark," she began, "I get that you and Callie are best friends, and I get that you know her in a way that I won't and never will. I GET it," she paused before continuing.

"But what _you_ need to get, what _you_ need to understand is that I know her too," she stressed, "So my opinion matter, it counts and you need to take that into consideration." Mark nodded his head affirmatively indicating that he was paying attention.

"Okay, Arizona," he agreed, "I can do that. After all, we are on the same team."

"We are," she agreed, "And thank you," she said breathing a great big old sigh of relief.

"You know I've been so stuck in my own personal quicksand that I've never even bothered to think about how you feel about all this," he posed as a way to allow Arizona a chance to talk about her feelings. Arizona looked down at the white pavement before answering trying to collect her thoughts.

"That baby," she started shakily, "Was growing inside of my heart just as surely as it was growing in Callie's stomach," she managed to get that out before she started to choke up with emotion. She took a minute to stuff it back down before commenting again.

"I couldn't have loved that child more if I was the one carrying it," she finished before she finally broke down releasing some of her pent up tears.

"You know how sorry I am," Mark said wrapping her in a warm embrace, "How are you holding up, Blondie?"

"I'm good Mark," she said somewhat muffled since he cheek was pressed into his shoulder, "Coming here helps."

"About that," Mark said before releasing Arizona but holding her an arms length away, "Lexie told me about the group. You were here first. Do you mind if I come?" he asked.

"No," she replied truthfully, "But if it is all the same to you, can we keep this between ourselves. Callie has enough on her plate right now.

"No problem Blondie," Mark said lightly.

"Ah there's the Mark Sloan I know and loathe," she jested, "You were beginning to scare me with your sensitivity and I'm concerned about your feelings bull crap."

"Hey," he protested loudly, "I do care!"

"I know Mark," she said looping her arm through his, "Walk me back to the hospital?" she asked.

"Yeah," he agreed, "Why not?" They walked in companionable silence back to the hospital. As they were about to part ways, a thought popped into Mark's mind.

"What did you do with the ring?" he asked out of curiosity.

"Oh my god, the ring!" Arizona exclaimed, "It is still in my damn glove box!"

"You're kidding?"

"Nope I'm not, I will get it out tonight and put it somewhere safer."

"Still going to propose?" Mark wondered.

"Eventually, when the time is better for us both."

"What matters most is that you still want to marry her," Mark said.

"More than ever, Mark. More than ever," Arizona said with reverence in her voice.

"Good night, Arizona," Mark said in parting.

"Good night Mark and thank you!" she said back to him.

Her shift was almost over so she meandered to the attending locker room to wait for Callie. Callie was already there getting changed. Arizona crept up behind her slowly wrapping her arms around Callie's midsection placing a kiss on her shoulder.

"Hey," Callie replied leaning back into her embrace, "Where did you run off to so quick?" Arizona tried to dodge the question by going over to her locker to collect her belongings. Callie had her hand on her hip tapping her fingers against her hip.

"You're not going to tell me are you," she accused.

"Look," Arizona turned to face Callie, "I didn't meant to tun out on you after..." she deliberated looking for the right word.

"After insanely hot, dirty sex," Callie supplied for her while opening the door to leave.

"It was hot and dirty wasn't it?" she said to congratulate them both on their performance.

"Yeah no lesbian bed death with this couple, uh-uh," Callie said confidently. Arizona stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the hallway.

"Did you just really say lesbian bed death?" she asked dumbfounded, "I mean how do you even know about lesbian bed death?"

"What because I am just bi-sexual, I can't know that when two women have been together for awhile tends to drive out the spark in favor of creating a nest so to speak," Callie said knowingly. Arizona opened her mouth to respond but before she could formulate a sentence, Callie interjected more.

"Whatever, the point is Arizona that we have hot, nasty sex a lo, all over the place which means no lesbian bed death here. It's all good!" she exclaimed. Arizona raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"It is good, isn't it," she giggled taking Callie's hand into her own intertwining their fingers.

"Mmm hmm," Callie agreed, "I think you need to take your insanely hot girlfriend that totally rocked today inside the OR, and outside of the OR out for dinner to celebrate."

"I can do that," Arizona said already won over.

"Don't you think that this means I've forgotten that you are keeping a secret from me," Callie said suddenly serious, "I'm respecting your right to privacy and trusting that if it was something I need to know, you'd tell me."

"Calliope, I would," Arizona vowed, "It is nothing for you to worry about."

"I believe you Arizona," Callie emphasized, "I want Portofino's for dinner so we're going to need to get your car."

"Good choice!" Arizona said in agreement and they walked hand in hand to the parking garage. Arizona told Callie she needed to move some of her junk off the passenger seat. She did that, and managed to get the ring out of the glove box and into her purse. Arizona held the door open for Callie indicating that she could get it now. Arizona was thinking about what she was going to do with the ring and decided it was best to store it in her safety deposit box at the bank. She was startled out of her reverie by Callie calling her name from the seat looking at her expectantly.

"Oh," Arizona smiled sheepishly before shutting the passenger side door.

Dinner was a pleasant affair for both of them. Arizona toasted Callie's successful return to work and operating. Callie toasted the wonderfulness that was Arizona. They reconnected again for the second time today but more on a cerebral level which heightened their overall level of intimacy. They left the restaurant in a haze of happiness that had been scarce since the miscarriage.

The haze continued for weeks on end. Arizona still went to the support group meetings, while Callie had managed to still avoid the maternity ward. She still had consistent nightmares but her body no longer reacted physically. This made it much easier to hide. There were tings both women didn't talk about. Secrets harbored out of the noble yet misguided belief they were protecting. The two women, both grieving, were partners in a macabre dance circling around the secrets of the dead. But the secret, the secrets sits in between watching, waiting, destroying, and it knows. It knows everything! It knows so well how to trample all thins from the sacred to sinful, from the pristine to the obscene, and from love to loathing. And it does does without guilt, without shame, and without a second thought. But even the most simple know that secrets have a way of bubbling up to the surface shedding a spot light of truth on things most hidden.

That day came on a Friday. Almost four months to the day that Callie lost her baby. She would've been in her seventh month of her pregnancy. Callie worked an earlier short shift from 7am until 3pm. Arizona went in at 5am and got off at 5pm. She was looking forward to going home because she was exhausted. She walked home in a light drizzle whistling a random tune eager to get home to relax. However, she was completely taken aback when she opened up the door to find her apartment ransacked like a tornado going through a trailer park. She was concerned that someone broke into their apartment. Her fear was quickly replaced with confusion and alarm when Callie stormed out of their room. Her hair was wild almost as if it were windblown and her eyes possessed a craziness about them.

"Callie," Arizona said treading lightly.

"I can't find my favorite stethoscope," Callie hastily blurted out.

"Okay," she said uncertainly because she'd never seen Callie this angry before. It was like she was possessed by a demon.

"Where was the last place you had it?" Arizona asked trying to be useful. Callie was pulling the cushions out of the couch throwing them haphazardly out of her way. She stopped.

"Where was the last place I had it?" she mocked aloud. She turned to Arizona ready to unleash the full burnt of her storm onto an unprepared victim.

"If I knew that Arizona," she said clipped with her teeth clenched tightly shut, "They wouldn't be lost now would they?" Arizona realized Callie's fury had nothing to do with a stupid medical instrument so she tried to disengage Callie from her anger by lending a hand thinking that if she found it, Callie's anger would be diffused.

"Hey," she said softly, "Let me help."

"Help?" Callie retorted condescendingly, "Where were you when I woke up alone in a pool of my own blood huh?"

"Calliope," Arizona tried to get Callie to stop.

"No don't you dare 'Calliope' me," she shouted so loud Arizona could see the veins in her neck throbbing.

"Oh yeah," Callie said as if she just now remembered, "You were out furniture shopping, If that is your idea of help, then there's no fucking way do I want your help." Arizona reeled from the one two punch. She absorbed the blows still thinking she could control the situation since she knew that Callie was doing her best to keep her from digging into what was really going on with her.

"You are upset about something and you are trying to push me away by insulting me. Just tell me what is wrong Callie, please?" she plead from the heart hoping the direct approach would work since nothing else had so far. Callie walked over to her menace all over her.

"You want to know what is wrong?" Callie asked.

"Yes I do, more than anything, I want to know what is wrong." Callie sized up Arizona a minute before speaking thinking of the best way to tell her what was wrong to make sure it did the most damage possible.

"Do you know what today is?" Arizona racked her brain for a clue as to what Callie was referring to. Arizona was clueless which infuriated Callie even more.

"Of course you don't," she spat hatefully, "I would've been eight months pregnant on this day," she said raising her voice. Arizona's eyes widened in shock. Things had been going so well lately that she really didn't think about the miscarriage too much anymore. She started to say something but Callie continued with her tirade.

"And to top things off, I had to go to the maternity ward for a woman that broke her pelvis during delivery. She was happy about it. Labor pains she said. All those happy people getting what I should've had, what I still want'" she cried. There was a pause in Callie's diatribe so Arizona took the opportunity to get a bottle of wine out of the fridge. There was only red but she knew it would do in a pinch to help steel her nerves and relax Callie.

"Callie," Arizona said with a voice full of sympathy, "I'm so, so sorry." The apology, although sincere only served to poor gasoline onto a smoldering fire igniting it with a whoosh.

"You're sorry?" Callie repeated, "Let's just quit pretending here okay?" Arizona shook her head slightly trying to guess what Callie was inferring too.

"Pretending about what?" she replied confused.

"That you were happy about agreeing to a lifetime of Mark. A lifetime of decisions: Bottle or sippy cup, basketball or tap, Dartmouth or Berkeley, Christmas morning with Mark," Callie ranted while Arizona stared transfixed like watching a car skidding on ice. There is nothing that can be done. If you get in the front to try and stop it, there's a pretty good chance you're going to get run over. If you don't move, you run the risk of the car drifting your direction hitting you anyway. The only thing you can do is wait for the car to lose momentum.

"I know you never would've picked Mark," Callie said pacing a small circle in front of Arizona, "You never, ever let me forget that you settled for a life you didn't want."

"That's not true," Arizona started.

"Oh come on," Callie retorted, "Let's just be honest with each other about the fact that you resent me for being bisexual, for getting the girl that I love, for, for having a hot guy best friend who is also a great lay, and for because I got the baby I'd always dreamed of. It's the bisexual's dream come true!" Arizona opened her mouth to speak but Callie wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise.

"I know this was never your dream," she continued, "Your dream never looked like this. Hell you are probably glad," Callie said.

"Callie!" Arizona shouted intending to be a warning but Callie was on a roll and paid her no mind.

"Deep down, even though you'd never admit it, I know you're glad I lost the baby," Callie said going way past a point of no return, "Now you won't have to deal with a lifetime of Mark."

Arizona lost her grip on the bottle sending it crashing into a million pieces on the tile floor. The wine splashed both of their pants legs dripping off of them like a scene from a horror movie. Arizona raised her hand to her chest trying to staunch the pain Callie's razor sharp tongue inflicted. Callie looked at the mess on the floor to Arizona about to say something scathing when she saw Arizona's face. She was as pale as a sheet, her eyes were hollow almost lifeless, and her lips trembled. Callie did a mental rewind uncertain as to what she said that would've elicited such a reaction from Arizona. She gasped in shame as reality settled upon her.

"Arizona," she whispered but before she could finish, Arizona spun around snatching her purse off the counter, swinging the door open so that it slammed loudly into the wall, and she left. Callie started after her but was stopped by a shard of glass slicing her foot wide open. Ignoring the pain, she went around the mess, but that diversion gave Arizona just enough time to make her getaway. Arizona's instinct was to fight back when viciously attacked but she knew Callie was damaged. She believed in lending a hand up instead of kicking someone when they were down. It flitted through her head that Callie probably thought she was bailing, but at this moment in time, Arizona didn't give a damn about Calliope Torres She needed to be able to breathe, she needed to be able to live. So, she left. She had no other options.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14: Forever Can Never Be Long Enough**

**The final chapter is here! I got some of the best people ever reading my story and taking the time to review. It is like the man walking down the beach picking up star fish and throwing them back into the sea. Another man walks up to him, and asks him why he is doing it because there are so many stranded on the beach that throwing one back really doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. He looks at the star fish and says, "It matter to this one." So, if you've read my story and took the time to review it, thank you. It matter to this one. **

Arizona didn't know how she found herself a the hospital. In times of chaos, people tend to seek out comfort in familiarity. She walked the hallways dazed. She didn't notice nor did she hear Mark or Teddy call out to her in greeting. Mark turned around grabbing Arizona's shoulders from behind to get her attention. Her body was so exhausted it was pliant like taffy so she stumbled when Mark turned her around.

"Robbins," he said concerned. It sounded like he was miles away calling her name.

"Mark," Teddy said alarmed, "Something is wrong. It almost looks like she is in shock" Mark maneuvered Arizona's lifeless body into the nearest consultation room. He moved her to the nearby love seat expecting her to sit down while he locked the door. He turned around to still see her standing so he pushed her down by her shoulders to get her to sit down.

"Take this," Teddy said opening Arizona's palm, placing a Styrofoam cup in it, then clasping her fingers around the cup so she didn't drop it, "Now drink some of it." It took a minute for Teddy's instruction to travel the neural pathways in her brain. When it did, she took a drink.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Teddy asked her friend. Arizona nodded her head indicating she would, finished her cold water, and recounted everything in detail about the argument between her and Callie. When she finished, she felt free. Mark on the other hand was livid.

"I can't believe she had the nerve to say something like that to you of all people," He said angrily, "You give more of yourself to your patients, you care like crazy about kids, for god's sake you wear roller skates for shoes! How could anyone that knows you, say something that horrible."

"Mark," she said more calm than she felt at the moment, "She didn't mean it."

"You know what Arizona," he said truthfully, "I didn't mean to get Callie pregnant but my intentions didn't make it hurt _you_ any less now did it?"

"It's not that simple Mark," Teddy interjected, "Pain especially emotional pain makes us do stupid things like me sleeping with you."

"Hey, I didn't hear any complaints at the time."

"Well," Teddy began.

"Guys!" Arizona interrupted, "Can we focus on me please?"

"Sorry," they said in unison.

"I'm going to the support group meeting. Hopefully the guys can help me get some clarity

about what to do about this situation," she explained to her friends.

"Support groups sounds like a great idea," she said trying to be supportive of her friend.

"It has been very helpful to us both," Mark supplied.

"Let me know if you need anything," Teddy said leaning into Arizona for a hug.

"Thanks Teddy," Arizona said hugging her back, "Bye Mark," she told her other friend.

Arizona took her time walking the few blocks to the church. She used the time to clear her mind. She dug down deep searching every nook and cranny within herself to see if there was any chance there was truth in Callie's accusations. In the end, what it boiled down to for Arizona was a reverence for life, any life was sacred. It had been that way for her since she was a little girl. It was why she could never kill a spider, why she took in baby birds that fell out of the nest, it was why she wanted to be a doctor. So she was unequivocally innocent from the charges Callie thrust upon her. If anything she was guilty of not telling Callie her true thoughts and feelings. Or maybe she was guilty of underestimating Callie's strength by thinking it would overwhelm Callie is she knew the true extent of Arizona's feeling about the miscarriage. Maybe it was a little bit of both. But Arizona would not take ownership for any part of their earlier argument. Callie dealt with her feelings like a child only using the brain and mouth of a brilliant adult. It was uncalled for, and seriously needed to be addressed. She'd consult with the guys to see how they thought she should approach the situation.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Callie pushed through the other side of her feelings coming out on the side of rationality. Callie let her gaze sweep over the damage she'd done. She had a deep laceration in her foot, but that could be fixed. The apartment looked like London during WW2, but that could be fixed. Destruction of inanimate objects could be fixed. She wasn't so sure she could fix what she did to Arizona. Dialing Arizona's cellphone, she heard her ring tone, "Brick House," coming from the kitchen. In her haste to leave, Arizona's cellphone must have slipped out of her purse. Fixing the mess she made with Arizona took priority, but since that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, Callie decided to mend what she could. She mended her foot first, then started with the bloody mess in the kitchen from the wine. Then she tidied up the living room placing the cushions back into the couch. Finally, she went into their room. She picked up all the clothes that were strewn about the floor, put them back in the correct dresser drawer, and then closed it. She was replacing some of Arizona's socks when she heard the unmistakable crinkle of a plastic bag. It was a Border's Book bag. Wondering what sort of book needed to be hidden away in a sock drawer, Callie slowly opened the bag peering curiously into the bag. She pulled out a children's book with a little boy in a red tank top and diaper sitting on the bathroom floor getting ready to pitch his mother's watch down the toilet. It was titled, I'll Love You Forever. She opened the book to the first page noticing an inscription in Arizona's concise handwriting. It read:

_**Dear Baby,**_

_** You haven't even been born yet, but I already know that I'll love you forever.**_

_**Love Always**_

_**Your Mama**_

The date of the inscription made Callie so weak in the knees that she had to sit down on the bed for fear of collapsing. It was the same day they first heard the baby's heart beat. Callie felt the panic rising in her like the tides. She got hot, started pouring sweat, and she couldn't catch her breath. She grabbed the book putting it back in the bag, grabbed her purse and keys, and as an after thought, Arizona's cellphone. She stumbled out of the apartment not knowing what she needed to do. She just knew she had to do something. She'd start with trying to find Arizona first and foremost.

Most of Arizona's friends worked at the hospital. So she logically decided to look for her to be there. No one had seen her on the Peds ward and she wasn't in her office. She searched the cafeteria where she ran into Teddy who was eating dinner.

"Teddy," Callie said, "Have you seen Arizona?" Teddy looked up from her meal, anger flashing through her angular features.

"Yes, she was here earlier," Teddy said neutrally.

"Do you know where she is?" Callie asked desperately, "Please I really need to find her." Teddy took a deep breath before answering.

"You know your relationship with Arizona has been an inspiration to me, and I consider you more than just a colleague..."

"But," Callie interrupted trying to get the heart of the matter.

"But," Teddy stressed, "Arizona is my closest friend here so even though I know where she might be, out of loyalty to her, I am not going to tell you."

"Please," Callie begged, "I really need to talk to her." Teddy shrugged her shoulders unwilling to give in.

"Maybe you'll have better luck with Mark," Teddy suggested.

"Mark?" Callie asked puzzled.

"Yes Mark," Teddy restated hoping Callie would take the hint. Callie walked off without saying good bye in search of her so called best friend. She couldn't find him so she had him paged to the attending lounge. He walked in the room searching for who paged him. He saw Callie pacing in front of the window and he frowned.

"Hey Callie," he said in a disapproving tone.

"Mark, where is Arizona?" she asked suspiciously.

"How could you say that to her Callie," Mark asked accusingly, "I'm saying this as your friend Callie, that was low especially for you."

"You think I don't know that," Callie asked throwing her hands in the air, "You think I don't feel horrible Mark?" Mark shrugged his shoulders uncertain what he knew of Callie anymore. Callie rummaged through her purse retrieving the book handing it to Mark.

"I messed up bad Mark," Callie said seriously, "So if you know where she is please, please tell me. I love her Mark and I can't lose her too." Mark looked at the book in his hand opening to the inscription. He read it then looked at Callie to see whether or not Callie's intentions were in the right place because he needed a very good reason to betray Arizona's trust.

"If you find her, what are you going to do?" he grilled Callie.

"I'm going to get down on my knees and beg forgiveness without hope of ever getting it. I am going to plead, and grovel," Callie answered without giving it a second thought, "I'll do whatever it takes. I'm going to fix it. I have to fix it." Mark rubbed his fingers across his chin weighing his options.

"St Cyprians," he said, "Better hurry she won't be there much longer."

"St Cyprians," Callie repeated confused as to why Arizona would be at a church much less a Catholic one.

"You better hurry," Mark ordered. As luck would have it, there was a cab dropping someone off at the hospital. She quickly employed the cabbie to minimize her time constraints. She arrived at the church not quite sure what to do. She approached the church bulletin board. The only thing listed for Friday evening something something called P.O.M.S, and it ended in 10 minutes.

"Excuse me sir," Called called out to a man exiting the building, "Can you tell me what P.O.M.S is?"

"It is a support group for partners going through a miscarriage," the kind man informed her before going on his way.

"Support group for miscarriage," Callie mumbled to herself. Then it was like being in a vacuum. The very breath and life was sucked out of her when she realized how bad Arizona must have been hurting for her to reach out to total strangers for help. It made Callie realize how absent she'd been in Arizona's life since the loss of the baby, how blinded she'd been to anyone else's pain save her own, and in a word, how selfish it was of her to believe that she was the only one. Callie waited at the very bottom set of stairs that led to the church waiting for Arizona to come out. Time seemed to drag on forever but pretty soon guys started coming out of the church. Callie was alarmed when she didn't spot Arizona among them. Arizona used a side door out of the church after using the rest room. She spotted Callie immediately. Callie was looking intently in the opposite direction. Instantly Arizona was filled with fury. She was mad for being ignored all these months, she was mad at Callie for invading her privacy, she was mad at Mark for telling her, hell she was mad that the sky was blue. Callie turned around still searching. Arizona noted how desolate and forlorn Callie appeared. Instantly the fury evaporated like rain in a desert. She was filled with the peace that only forgiveness can bring. She knew she could forgive Callie of just about anything, but she was willing just yet to let her off the hook. She approached Callie with her arms crossed over her chest. Callie finally spotted her, and she was filled with dread. She stood at the stop of the concrete stairs staring down at Callie.

"What are you doing here, Callie?" she asked brusquely making it clear that she was not wanted there.

"I need to talk to you." Callie answered.

"Really," Arizona asked incredulously, "What more could you possibly have to say? I mean, you pretty much said it all already."

"Well, there is one more thing I need to say," Callie said becoming defensive.

"Oh, well then, I'm all ears," Arizona retorted sarcastically, "Let's hear this one thing you absolutely must say." Callie mounted two of the steps bringing her about two feet away from Arizona. She looked up at Arizona ensuring eye contact for what she was about to say.

"I'm sorry, Arizona," Callie said plainly, humbly, and truthfully from her heart. Arizona glared at Callie harshly.

"That's it, that's what you wanted to say?" she asked, "You're sorry."

"Yes I am so, so sorry," Callie said quickly. Arizona snorted at Callie's apology side stepping around her descending the steps. Callie panicked thinking Arizona was walking away from her forever.

"Arizona," she cried out causing Arizona to stop, "Please don't leave!" Arizona sighed in frustration about the implication behind Callie's words. After all this time, Callie still thought she'd abandon her. Arizona looked up to the darkening skies to regain her composure.

"I'm not," she said walking across the street to a flower garden owned by the church used for meditation purposes. When Callie didn't follow, she turned around.

"Are you coming or not?" Arizona questioned. Callie hurried across the street following Arizona into the gardens to a secluded spot with a park bench. She hesitantly sat next to Arizona on the bench.

"Nice place," Callie commented nervously.

"It's private," Arizona stated, "We're going to need privacy for this conversation."

"Arizona, I'm sorry I didn't mean the things I said," Callie said again. Arizona held up her hand unwilling to hear another apology.

"Of course you are sorry Callie. I accept that but that won't make things any better," Arizona explained.

"What will?" Callie asked turning to face Arizona so the other woman wouldn't doubt her commitment to fixing things.

"I want to know why something like that would _ever _come out of your mouth in the first place Callie," Arizona said telling Callie what she needed from her, "You know my secret. It's time to tell me what you've been having nightmares about."

"Yeah," Callie said honing in on Arizona's secret, "How long have you been coming here?"

"NO!" Arizona shouted not letting Callie change the subject.

"Shit," Callie mumbled under her breath, "You still knew even though I wasn't thrashing around or screaming in my sleep?"

"Yes, I knew," Arizona said causing Callie to sigh.

"You never said anything," Callie said accusingly.

"Yes I did," Arizona corrected, "I asked you about your nightmares shortly after they started but you didn't want to talk about them so I left you alone hoping you would come to me when you were ready but you never did and now look where we ended up."

"We've both been keeping secrets Arizona," Callie countered.

"I know Callie," Arizona admitted, "And I am going to tell you mine but after the things you said to me, I deserve an explanation. Don't you think?" she asked turning to face Callie as well.

"Yes you do," Callie sighed defeated, "The first few weeks the nightmares were obviously about losing the baby, relieving it over in my sleep. Then one night, they just changed."

"What changed?" Arizona questioned.

"They were about you," Callie said quietly unable to maintain eye contact.

"Nightmares about me?" she asked confused.

"Yes," she answered, "The main theme was you leaving me alone. Sometimes you left voluntarily like when you went to Malawi. Other times..." she trailed off.

"I died," Arizona replied filling in the blank. Callie nodded her head mutely tears pooling in her eyes before spilling down over her cheeks.

"You died," she said shakily, "And usually violently. Sometimes you would die in my arms and there wasn't anything I could do to save you," she cried.

"Oh Callie," Arizona said sympathetically. She pulled Callie's hands onto her lap holding them while she poured out her demons in the form of tears.

"S-s-sometimes Arizona," she said trembling, "I had to identify your body."

"Oh sweetie," Arizona murmured tenderly stroking the back of Callie's hands with her thumbs. Callie raised a tear streaked face to look at Arizona.

"Those weren't the worst," she said cryptically, "There were times when you left me for another woman."

"Callie," Arizona replied gently reprimanding her with her tone, "There is _no_ other woman for me."

"I know none of this makes sense Arizona but the dreams were so real. It felt like you were gone and I was so, so lost without you. I guess it just boils down to being afraid of losing you."

"You won't!" Arizona said emphatically.

"You don't know that!" Callie cried. Arizona thought for a moment before speaking.

"You know, you are right," She conceded, "I can't tell you I won't die someday. Wish I could live forever with you but reality is I'm going to die. So are you."

"What's your point Arizona?" Callie asked.

"My point is," Arizona said squeezing Callie's hands warmly, "My point is that excluding death, I am never going to leave you. Never! Not for Malawi, not for a million dollars, not for a Harper Avery award, not even for Cindy Crawford."

"Wow you love me so much you'd pass up Cindy Crawford," Callie joked.

"Mmm hmm, I would without thinking about it twice," she answered convincingly. Callie chuckled at her but didn't say anything.

"I know I've screwed up with you many times, but I'm here now, and I am not going anywhere," she stated forcefully, "Give me time to prove it to you, okay?"

"Okay," Callie agreed. Arizona enveloped Callie in her arms for a loving, tender embrace. They sat like that for awhile. Callie eventually broke the embrace.

"What's going on with you?" she inquired. Arizona shrugged her shoulders indifferently.

"I've been coming to this group for awhile now," she replied, "Lexie told me about it, and it helps. That's it." Arizona tried to downplay the situation still trying to protect Callie from her own feelings.

"You're lying," Callie challenged.

"What, no I am not," Arizona said taken aback by Callie's aggressiveness.

"Tell me about this," she said handing Arizona the book she'd discovered hidden amongst socks. Arizona looked down at the book in her hand, and she began to unravel.

"Don't," she quietly begged, "Please don't do this to me, Callie."

"You've been so strong for me for so long Arizona," Callie said, "But I can be strong for you, I want to be strong for you, I need to be strong for you. Please baby, let me be there for you." Callie knew that Arizona loved to be in control so she figure she'd have a better chance of getting Arizona to let go if she granted the illusion of control in the form of a question. In truth, Callie would pull it out of Arizona with pliers if she had to.

"Talk to me Arizona," she asked hushed.

"I-I don't know where to start," Arizona said tears already forming.

"Start at the beginning?" Callie suggested.

"I loved that baby, Callie," Arizona stated.

"I know you did," Callie affirmed.

"No I don't think you do," Arizona countered, "Dreams I never even knew existed were coming true. I had the love of my life, and we were bringing a baby into our love."

"Family is very important to you," Callie paraphrased Arizona's statement.

"It is," Arizona confirmed, "And then it was ripped from me in the blink of an eye. Just like my brother," Arizona said as salty tears streamed down her face. Callie tried to wipe them away with the back of her hand but that just made Arizona cry harder.

"My heart was fuller than I ever though possible. I could picture our child in my mind, and I've never loved, or wanted anything more in my whole life!" "And for you to say what you did about me, how could you?" she cried even harder.

"I was wrong," Callie said shamefully.

"I'm not telling you this so you will apologize again," she interrupted, "I had already forgiven you once I saw you outside the church looked so rejected." Callie looked surprised.

"I just needed you to know how much I loved that baby, and when you miscarried, I lost a piece of my heart," she whispered the last part softly, "You know I am not the best when it comes to feelings, I hide from them. That is what I did. It wasn't fair to you, and for that_ I_ am sorry."

"You've been nothing but great to me Arizona so please don't apologize," Callie asserted.

"I do," she said simply, "I wore a mask of comforter, and protector to hide my deceit but I'm taking it off, and I'm letting you see," she said her voice and body trembling with vulnerability and fear of rejection. Callie gasped in reaction. She pulled Arizona tightly against her chest.

"I see you, Arizona. All of you," she whispered lovingly, "_I see you _and you are beautiful."

Callie held Arizona rocking her lightly as Arizona purged the hurt she carefully harbored in her soul for so long. Arizona finally gave herself permission to feel it all. She placed complete faith in Callie allowing Callie to be strong for her. Callie didn't let her down. She felt loved without reservations. Both women lost track of time. Dusk turned into night. The lights in the garden cast a magical glow over everything. It was like being in a place no one else knew about or could see. The crickets sang songs just for them, stars twinkled brightly for the, and the fireflies lit up just for them. Beautiful things happened in that beautiful garden. Callie was contemplating everything but was brought out of her reverie when she heard Arizona mumbling something against her shoulder.

"Did you say something baby?" Callie asked.

"I said it is not true," Arizona replied pulling back from Callie so they were facing each other again.

"Oh no," Callie said in dread gearing up in preparation for the other shoe to drop, "What's not true, Arizona."

"You said we were furniture shopping when you began to lose the baby but it is not true," she told Callie.

"If you and Mark weren't furniture shopping, what exactly were you doing?" she posited.

Arizona rifled around in her purse for the forgotten ring. Closing her hand over the box, she held it in her purse.

"We were shopping," she explained, "Just not for furniture." Callie waited expectantly for more.

"We, no I was shopping for this," she said pulling the black velvet box out. She presented the box to Callie flat on the palm of her hand. Callie looked at the box. Callie looked at Arizona, and then back to the box again. Callie's eyes were as huge as saucers, and her mouth totally agape. Arizona gestured for Callie to take the box but Callie stopped short because her hand was shaking so badly. Curiosity eventually bested her and she took the box from Arizona. She didn't open it. She could only stare at it. No one ever bought her a ring before. George married her as an afterthought with no foresight for planning involved. Callie felt the last barrier of her doubt and insecurity regarding Arizona float away like driftwood on an ocean current.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Arizona asked behind a smile. Callie pried the box open with a creak. When she did, she saw the most beautiful engagement ring ever. It was modern, yet classy. Romantic and timeless all in one. Callie knew Arizona took great care to find this perfect ring for her. She started to take it out, but Arizona stopped her.

"I never got around to planning a proposal, and then the time was never right after the miscarriage. But that is life, and you have to grab the almost perfect moments in life while you still can," she told Callie, "So if we're going to do this, it is going to be right." Arizona knelt down on one knee before Callie in the moist grass. She grabbed Callie's left hand in hers. Callie's heart was beating fiercely in her chest and she felt for sure that Arizona could feel it. She couldn't stop herself from crying either but at least this time, her tears were those of love and joy.

"Calliope, we've already been through good times, and bad. We've experienced sickness and health, so I already feel like your wife," she said completely captivated by the woman in front of her. The moon was rising behind Callie casting an ethereal light over her head. She looked angelic.

"I love you more than anything and I want more. I want commitments, and rings. I want to be with you forever, so marry me?" she asked with all the love she had in her heart pouring out into this proposal. Callie could find words to fit the magnitude of her emotions.

"You want to marry me?" Callie asked doubtfully.

"I do," Arizona vowed, "The question is, do you want to marry me?" Callie thought for a split second, looked at Arizona, nodding her head as the words bubbled out of her throat.

"I do," she said smiling, "I do want to marry you!" Arizona slid the ring on Callie's finger. It was a perfect fit. Arizona sat back down on the bench laughing as she watched Callie examine the ring on her finger in various positions. Finally, she turned to Arizona in awe.

"We're getting married."

"We're getting married," Arizona repeated happily.

"We should seal it with a kiss," Callie suggested.

"I think you are right," Arizona replied grasping Callie's face in her hands pulling her in for a kiss. Callie met her in the middle resting her hands on Arizona's hops. Their lips met together sealing the plan fate had woven for the two women so long ago. The kiss was magical. Maybe it was because they were in a magical place literally, and emotionally but each women took from that kiss a sense of peace that no matter what, they'd weather any storm together. All fears and doubts were erased with that kiss. The two women broke apart to breathe.

"Let's go home so I can make love to my beautiful fiancée," Callie said testing the word fiancée on her tongue.

"Okay but once a wedding date is set, I'm serious about the no sex until marriage rule," Arizona told her.

"What?" Callie said not buying it, "That's never going to happen."

"You're probably right," Arizona agreed, "One of has has the sex drive of a 16 year old boy."

Callie thought for a minute before commenting.

"Yeah," she agreed, "But which one of us?" Arizona snorted at the truthfulness behind Callie's comment, and both women laughed so hard tears came to their eyes.

"Okay, okay," Arizona said regaining her composure, "How about not seeing each other the day before the wedding?"

"Okay," Callie said amenably.

"You're going to be the most beautiful bride," Arizona said seriously, "I can't wait to see you walking down the aisle in your dress."

"I know what you mean Arizona," Callie told her fiancée, "I can't wait to see how amazing you are going to look in your dress. But I'm more looking forward to taking you out of your dress so I can have hot wedding night sex with my wife!"

"It's you!" Arizona shouted playfully, "You're the horny teenage boy!"

"Hey," Callie said thoughtfully, "I do resemble that remark," she joked aloud, "Still want to marry me?" Arizona halted their walk with a tug to the hand that she was holding.

"Today, tomorrow, and forever. I am going to want you to be my wife. And when we are ready, we'll have our family. I swear Callie, I am going to make all your dreams come true," Arizona promised.

"Arizona, you already have baby," Callie said planting several kisses in a row on Arizona's lips, "You...already...have." They continued walking hand in hand back to their home ready to move onto the next chapter of the rest of their lives.

A man dressed in an army uniform stood behind the two woman off to the side watching them as they walked away. A voice from behind startled him.

"You did a good job with them Adam," the man said, "I know it wasn't easy seeing your sister day in and day out without being able to interact."

"No it wasn't," he said feeling a comforting hand resting on his shoulder, "But I had to work magic to get both women back on track despite their stubborn determination to be apart."

"They are where they are supposed to be," the other man commented.

"I want her to be happy," Adam said somberly.

"Me too," the other man said, "Do you think maybe He will send me back to them the next time they try?"

"Anything is possible," Adam said walking down the street with the soul of Callie's baby until they vanished into the night.

**THE FREAKING END**

**Please review.**

**Thanks so much for reading.**

**Sherri**


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